strop-strop
09-12-2006, 07:07 AM
This is my life's work thus far. I hope you like!
Ivan, a dashing youth with the face of a child but the body of a man, was busy watering his lawn on a scorching january day. While he was watering, a gust of wind blew strongly, causing his tshirt to blow upwards and his hose to pour lavishly down his rippling abdominal muscles. While this happened, a stunning female from across the street caught his eye. He couldn't but feel aroused, as she gawked at his muscular frame. Ivan had one thing on his mind at that moment, dwarves. Ivan had a dwarf fetish. As the stunning woman from across the street gawked at him, he was imagining her as a four foot tall dwarf. He walked slowly over to her, hose in tow and said "spit on your hand and rub my hose... at a medium pace." Ivan thought to himself, with a his good looks and charming personality, there is a very good chance that the woman across the street from him would show him her stamp collection. Whilst the gorgeous woman from across the street rubbed Ivan's garden hose (at a medium pace) she seductively flipped through the pages of her stamp collection. Seeing the stamp collection made Ivan's rubber band collection grip seductivly tighter upon Ivan's dripping wet wrist. Ivan often thought he looked like the 12 year old girls that hang out at Supre in centerpoint and wear the millions of blue things from the coke bottles on their wrist because of his rubber band collection on his wrist but then realised that the girl in front of him had just whipped it out. She had extended Ivan's hose by another 2m and was now rubbing it at a very fast pace. Ivan was about to ask her to slow down when suddenly the girl's sister entered the room. Ivan, being very open to new things, asked the two sisters to get on their knees. To make them look shorter, he likes dwarves after all. As the sister reluctantly got onto her knees she screamed as one of Ivan's rubber bands snapped and hit her in the eye. She lay on the floor moaning, when Ivan realised she was not moaning out of pain....but....but out of pleasure. The kind of pleasure Ivan found italised in his various pornographic magazines. She kept moaning. Ivan began to make out words. "More...Please..." Faintly but surely he could distiginguish them. He lent down over her and punched her in the other eye, causing her to black out. Meanwhile the woman from across the street was getting jealous that her sister was gettting all the attention so she drew up all the courage inside of her, and shouted at the top of her lungs "i have a penis instead of a vagina!" Ivan slowly turned around and looked at this woman with a newly found passion. Ivan walked over to her and whispered in her ear, "this could be fate, but would you believe that I have a vagina instead of a penis". Ivan was lying, but he was really desperate, and he thought she might not notice if he force-fed her a bottle of vodka and tucked his penis in between his legs. Ivan began to unzip his pants when he realised that he was out of vodka. and all he had was cheese. So he did the tuck, covered his nipples in cheese and started to sing the peruvian national anthem, right up untill he noticed her ***. Flabbergasted he asked her: "what you gunna do with all that ***, all that *** inside those... jean." I'm gunna make, make you scream" she explained, "Make you scream; Make you screeeeeeeeeeeeeam!" as a coda he performed liposuction on the jeans, but got distracted thinking about fergie as a midget. The topic of Fergie naturally led to a debate with the recently awoken sister as to wether she is actually hot, upon agreeing that she is when she is made up and when "au natural" in the right light he turned in slow motion with his powerful torso rippling and glistening with moisture to find a penny on the ground. "sweet," he said as he picked it up. he knew, after that, that it was gonna be a great day. He slipped the coin between his firm, chiseled butt cheeks for safe keeping and continued pumping dreamily as he pondered about what he was going to spend his shiney penny on. He was thinking of that new 6 burner bbq that was on special in town, but then he remembered he was hungry and there was a hungry jack round the corner. But then again, Ivan thought to himself, hungry jacks is on the same lot as a petrol station. Right then Ivan knew he was going to spend his penny on petrol. After all Ivan is aboriginal. But then disrupting his thoughts suddenly he beat the **** out of theo for saying he was an abo, upon returning to the girls after opening a can, Ivan realised that he had lost the shiny penny so he began excavating the girl across the roads ***, in an effort to find another not so shiny penny, he dug away for a minute but then remembered that the shiny penny was between his bulging pecks. So he reached down and picked up the the hose and slowly rubbed his erect nipples in an effort to dislodge it but a painful realisation dawned on him, he had not picked up the hose but the vacuum cleaner, the suction on his nipples at first was pleasant but grew painful quickly. In an attempt to pry the nozzle off his nipples he began to recollect teachings from his younger days at school. Past memories were flooding back to Ivan quickly: hot teachers, boobs, hoses. He had to order his thoughts, and fast. Maids have boobs. Boobs are held in by bras. Bra rhymes with jar. A jar can be knocked off a table in a vacuum incident. A vacuum is an electrical device. Electrical devices require electricty! It all makes sense now. All Ivan has to do to salvage his nipple is beg the lord to make it stop. "Oh God, oh, oh, oh God ooooooooooh". His prayers were answered by a electrical failure, plunging the house into darkness. The combination of relief on his nipple and the sudden darkness resulted in dinosaurs once again roaming the earth or at least, that's what he thought when one of the sisters threw herself upon him (she was bigger than he originally thought). "Take me now!" she cried out; but Ivan did not want to take anyone anywhere, especially not in the dark where he couldn't see what he was doing. "Come to my room," he said to the sisters, "I have a battery-operated nightlight by my bed." Once all snugly in Ivan's room the power company sorted the power problem, and Ivan could now see.
Ivan, a dashing youth with the face of a child but the body of a man, was busy watering his lawn on a scorching january day. While he was watering, a gust of wind blew strongly, causing his tshirt to blow upwards and his hose to pour lavishly down his rippling abdominal muscles. While this happened, a stunning female from across the street caught his eye. He couldn't but feel aroused, as she gawked at his muscular frame. Ivan had one thing on his mind at that moment, dwarves. Ivan had a dwarf fetish. As the stunning woman from across the street gawked at him, he was imagining her as a four foot tall dwarf. He walked slowly over to her, hose in tow and said "spit on your hand and rub my hose... at a medium pace." Ivan thought to himself, with a his good looks and charming personality, there is a very good chance that the woman across the street from him would show him her stamp collection. Whilst the gorgeous woman from across the street rubbed Ivan's garden hose (at a medium pace) she seductively flipped through the pages of her stamp collection. Seeing the stamp collection made Ivan's rubber band collection grip seductivly tighter upon Ivan's dripping wet wrist. Ivan often thought he looked like the 12 year old girls that hang out at Supre in centerpoint and wear the millions of blue things from the coke bottles on their wrist because of his rubber band collection on his wrist but then realised that the girl in front of him had just whipped it out. She had extended Ivan's hose by another 2m and was now rubbing it at a very fast pace. Ivan was about to ask her to slow down when suddenly the girl's sister entered the room. Ivan, being very open to new things, asked the two sisters to get on their knees. To make them look shorter, he likes dwarves after all. As the sister reluctantly got onto her knees she screamed as one of Ivan's rubber bands snapped and hit her in the eye. She lay on the floor moaning, when Ivan realised she was not moaning out of pain....but....but out of pleasure. The kind of pleasure Ivan found italised in his various pornographic magazines. She kept moaning. Ivan began to make out words. "More...Please..." Faintly but surely he could distiginguish them. He lent down over her and punched her in the other eye, causing her to black out. Meanwhile the woman from across the street was getting jealous that her sister was gettting all the attention so she drew up all the courage inside of her, and shouted at the top of her lungs "i have a penis instead of a vagina!" Ivan slowly turned around and looked at this woman with a newly found passion. Ivan walked over to her and whispered in her ear, "this could be fate, but would you believe that I have a vagina instead of a penis". Ivan was lying, but he was really desperate, and he thought she might not notice if he force-fed her a bottle of vodka and tucked his penis in between his legs. Ivan began to unzip his pants when he realised that he was out of vodka. and all he had was cheese. So he did the tuck, covered his nipples in cheese and started to sing the peruvian national anthem, right up untill he noticed her ***. Flabbergasted he asked her: "what you gunna do with all that ***, all that *** inside those... jean." I'm gunna make, make you scream" she explained, "Make you scream; Make you screeeeeeeeeeeeeam!" as a coda he performed liposuction on the jeans, but got distracted thinking about fergie as a midget. The topic of Fergie naturally led to a debate with the recently awoken sister as to wether she is actually hot, upon agreeing that she is when she is made up and when "au natural" in the right light he turned in slow motion with his powerful torso rippling and glistening with moisture to find a penny on the ground. "sweet," he said as he picked it up. he knew, after that, that it was gonna be a great day. He slipped the coin between his firm, chiseled butt cheeks for safe keeping and continued pumping dreamily as he pondered about what he was going to spend his shiney penny on. He was thinking of that new 6 burner bbq that was on special in town, but then he remembered he was hungry and there was a hungry jack round the corner. But then again, Ivan thought to himself, hungry jacks is on the same lot as a petrol station. Right then Ivan knew he was going to spend his penny on petrol. After all Ivan is aboriginal. But then disrupting his thoughts suddenly he beat the **** out of theo for saying he was an abo, upon returning to the girls after opening a can, Ivan realised that he had lost the shiny penny so he began excavating the girl across the roads ***, in an effort to find another not so shiny penny, he dug away for a minute but then remembered that the shiny penny was between his bulging pecks. So he reached down and picked up the the hose and slowly rubbed his erect nipples in an effort to dislodge it but a painful realisation dawned on him, he had not picked up the hose but the vacuum cleaner, the suction on his nipples at first was pleasant but grew painful quickly. In an attempt to pry the nozzle off his nipples he began to recollect teachings from his younger days at school. Past memories were flooding back to Ivan quickly: hot teachers, boobs, hoses. He had to order his thoughts, and fast. Maids have boobs. Boobs are held in by bras. Bra rhymes with jar. A jar can be knocked off a table in a vacuum incident. A vacuum is an electrical device. Electrical devices require electricty! It all makes sense now. All Ivan has to do to salvage his nipple is beg the lord to make it stop. "Oh God, oh, oh, oh God ooooooooooh". His prayers were answered by a electrical failure, plunging the house into darkness. The combination of relief on his nipple and the sudden darkness resulted in dinosaurs once again roaming the earth or at least, that's what he thought when one of the sisters threw herself upon him (she was bigger than he originally thought). "Take me now!" she cried out; but Ivan did not want to take anyone anywhere, especially not in the dark where he couldn't see what he was doing. "Come to my room," he said to the sisters, "I have a battery-operated nightlight by my bed." Once all snugly in Ivan's room the power company sorted the power problem, and Ivan could now see.