The Villanelle

[Pendragon]

The Villanelle is a French poetry form that depends on the strength of line 1 and 3 of the first stanza, as they must repeat in a set pattern through the 19-line poem. I post one of mine here, and ask for feedback. It was never published, although the villanelle is a form that has been kind to me. The byline became my first mask, as it hid things like gender, race, and so on. Later, I would use other pseudonyms. Be honest in your criticism, believe me, I have been taken to the cleaners by expert editors!

Pen



MEMORIES #2

I guess there’s something to be said,
to be written down, and often related;
about a family cold and dead;

each line to be listened to with fear and dread,
with sorrow as each syllable is repeated.
I guess there’s something to be said,

yet, who would believe the words they read,
about abuse, dreams destroyed, hopes deleted?
About a family cold and dead

who had their chance, but chose instead
to drift apart, to live incompletely?
I guess there’s something to be said—

and say them I have, and will until I’m dead!
And in that respite when life is completed,
will I think about a family, cold and dead?

No one would ever believe. Why should they? It’s sad.
So I just go on trying to straighten out me.
I guess there’s something to be said
about a family cold and dead…

DL Harris
© 5/6/97

[lanaia74]

Regardless of what others say, I thought it was AWESOME!:crash: :blush: :thumbs_up

[Pendragon]

Regardless of what others say, I thought it was AWESOME!:crash: :blush: :thumbs_upTHANK YOU! http://www.industreal.spb.ru/smiles/writing.gif http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/liebe/h030.gif

[white camellia]

There is no good evidence for me to believe whatever happened or not, but I am somehow convinced that the narrator was indeed from a story of household misery. I guess that's how the form of villanelle works-very irresistible!
Really a nice piece, Pen.

[Pendragon]

There is no good evidence for me to believe whatever happened or not, but I am somehow convinced that the narrator was indeed from a story of household misery. I guess that's how the form of villanelle works-very irresistible!
Really a nice piece, Pen.Ghosts of the past are hardest to exorcise. I'm glad you like the poem. The form forces the writer to think more, because of the way the lines must repeat. If the lines are weak, the poem will beome boring. I love the form, and as I said, it has been kind to me with the publishers. ;)