Within the Rain

[Daisuke Fayne]

Trickling down,
These droplets echo through my heart.

As if the sky,
Finally gave way just at the start.

Silence from you,
Showing me that I couldn't stop.

Keeping it away,
You left the pain inside to rot.

Trying my best,
To keep you still safe beside me.

Wanting it back,
Back to the way it used to be.

Sleeping deep inside,
Silver lined hope hides beneath your coldness.

As I try,
Hardest that I can, to muster my boldness.

Tell me now,
That you still want my love.

Or keep it,
To yourself, holding your precious dove.

Save me now,
Save me from the starving rain.

Let me know,
Because it's hard to try and stay sane.

Touch me again,
Take me in your heavenly grasp.

Bring me back,
Back with your soft gasp.

Soothing no more,
Sanity slowly leaving my body tonight.

These droplets falling,
Only help keep me from my flight.

Take me away,
To the place we loved so much.

As the wind,
Caress me so much with your touch.

Softly I cry,
Saying to you to come back.

Within the rain,
I feel as though I'm about to crack.

[lily of valley]

Hello
I felt and heard the sound of rain through your poem. It looks like u are under this musical symphony of rain that is played by heaven very softly. It shows how romantic the poet is i.e. how nature reflects your sorrow, your nostalgia ….
In your poem there is a very significant triangle that we do notice in romantic poetry.
This triangle consists of the poet, the absent lover, and nature.


"These droplets echo through my heart." This Reveals that the true setting is your heart whereas nature is only a means of substitution or replacement.

"Silence from you,
Showing me that I couldn't stop." These lines are unique to me. They show that u do have a strong character before distress.

"Keeping it away,
You left the pain inside to rot." These lines with the former two ones reveal the conflict u are living.

I need to read this again. I might write soon.



Please, cheer up!
LILY.

[Daisuke Fayne]

*chuckles* Well yeah.. you are right about the signifigance.. but I never did connect it to me.. I had made it for another thing all together.. Yet it seems that all my poetry likes to refelct me.

I liked this poem too, and well most of my friends said that I had talent even for someone my age... *laughs* And well just now I found a place that would actually show my poetry to everyone, and not to those who just look at my main page.

Trying my best,
To keep you still safe beside me

Thos two lines I felt were very significant to me.. Because I always have tried so hard to keep my lovers safe near me.

Anyways... you are also right with the nature part. I do feel as though nature reflects a persons heart, and a lot of my poems deal with that... And I'm sure that I will get more poetry up here.

And funny thing is, the depression that I usually get from my poetry, actually triggers my nostalgia and makes me smile.

But then again, thanks for everything miss. ^_^