A Suggestion for College Students

[Shannanigan]

As I moved back into my dorm earlier this month, I found myself reflecting on all of the help I had recieved over the summer: my mechanic, knowing that I'm a college student, often gave me plenty of time to pay for work on my car and also did it without charging me the full price for labor (against all of my insistence to charge me full price). My boyfriend's mother graciously let me live with her for a measly $200 USD a month, and even added me to her cell phone family plan so that my bill is only $20 a month. My cousin allowed me to store my dorm fridge, supplies, and about 6 boxes of books, notebooks, and the like in his spare closet because there was no room for that stuff where I was staying. His fiance had helped me raise money for my English Honor Society earlier in the year so that I could go to a convention, even though she was not a member.

Without these people, I don't know what I would have done with my stuff, where I would have lived, or how I would have gotten around. So I decided to thank them. Personally, I bought some cards that they sell in my school bookstore that have great quotes on the front and are blank inside, and I wrote them each personal notes inside. I'm also going to get them each gifts, only because I can afford it right now, like massages or dinners at nice local restaurants...

I just felt like putting that out there and encouraging other college students on this forum (I know that there are a lot) to thank the people who make their life a little easier. I'm sure those that have helped you would appreciate even just a simple letter. It's the least you can do for them smoothing out some of the places on the rough path of life for you.

[mono]

Very well said, Shannanigan! Throughout nursing school, I probably would have had a lot of trouble without my family and a few good friends; fellow students, too, provided much support for each other.
Ugh, the constant studying, stress, sleep deprivation, financial struggle - I do not miss nursing school! For rent, I nearly 'got away with murder,' as I called it, as some friends let me live with them for little rent, cutting my expenses drastically; as for other bills, I thrived alone. My parents, of all people, seemed also very supportive; in very financially poor times, what I called grocery shopping consisted of visiting my parents and rummaging their kitchen. :lol:
Ah, good times, good times. :D Once I began working (very recently), I insisted on paying back everyone somehow, mostly with monetary value, others with miscellaneous gifts.

[Pensive]

This is a great advice. I, surely, will try to remember it once I reach college.

[Koa]

That's nice, in my country a lot of students try to live at home anyway, and if they move it's usually the parents that contribute a lot, so things like you describe seem to me more like a movie than real life (especially a mechanic helping like that, LOL here the student status feels sometimes recognised as some sort of a money-spending timewaster) - in my next University adventure I will try to be independent as I feel way too old to live on my parents (which, still is perfectly normal here in many cases, and it's often strange to move out permanently from the parents' house when you're so young), but I have had a big financial help from my grandfather in order to start that (well he would have done it anyway, it was a great coincidence that it was due now that I need it!) so yes I know what you mean.

[Chava]

My mother let's me stay home without paying the rent, though i'm 18 and have my own job, though i still have to pay for all my own expenses. As far as i'm concerned, i find this very generous, since most of my friends have to pay rent to their parents for their stay not to mention an increase in their daily chores, despite the fact that we're incredibly stressed with school!

One of the beautifull things about Denmark is the free education, so going to Uni, i will only have to pay for my accomodation and books. And on top of that the state will subsidise my education substantially.

But here it's common to move out really early and mannage by yourself...
By the way mono, should you ever need a job there is an immense demand for qualified nurses in Denmark, since it just came out that the majority of newly educated nurses are completely unqualified to do the job! half of them don't know how to apply a bandage, too much theology in school and too little practical work ... (have to pay a price for free education):rolleyes:

[mono]

By the way mono, should you ever need a job there is an immense demand for qualified nurses in Denmark, since it just came out that the majority of newly educated nurses are completely unqualified to do the job! half of them don't know how to apply a bandage, too much theology in school and too little practical work ... (have to pay a price for free education):rolleyes:
:lol:
I appreciate the invitation, but the U.S., too, has quite a shortage of nurses, as many of the so-called 'baby-boomers' have aged, retired, or gotten ill. Though we all seem a little better trained, and I dread to hear of nurses in Denmark, I suppose we had multiple, multiple writing and performance exams to get qualified in even seemingly small (and large) tasks.
Eh, I have thought of visiting that whole region someday, yet I guess perhaps not to work; plus I know very, very little of the language. :p

[Chava]

great, send word, and i'll be your personal guide :) i speak all scandinavian, so long as finish doesn't count, and know a little french and spanish too.

[aeroport]

That is very good advice, Shannanigan. I have been fortunate enough, myself, to live with my grandparents these last few years, and they seem to want me to stay as long as I like, without paying rent or anything of the sort. I've also had the good fortune of getting all of my college paid for in scholarships, which is very nice, as I've heard that my school has the highest state-school tuition in the country (and it just increased by about $50 an hour this year!).
Pensive, I find it almost unbelievable that you have not yet "reached college"; perhaps this is owing to your considerable post-count, but you've always seemed to me to be, like Mono and Virgil, one of those wizened mainstays that contribute so much to the - for want of a better term - life, or "soul", I suppose, of LitNet.

[Pensive]

That's nice, in my country a lot of students try to live at home anyway, and if they move it's usually the parents that contribute a lot
It's the same here in Pakistan. It's parents who usually pay for college and even university's fee.


Pensive, I find it almost unbelievable that you have not yet "reached college"; perhaps this is owing to your considerable post-count, but you've always seemed to me to be, like Mono and Virgil, one of those wizened mainstays that contribute so much to the - for want of a better term - life, or "soul", I suppose, of LitNet.
:blush:

Oh dear me, that's nice of you to put it in a compliment sort of way :) because some others might consider me an old fat hag and a chatterbox, having to do nothing but spare time.

[Koa]

My mother let's me stay home without paying the rent, though i'm 18 and have my own job, though i still have to pay for all my own expenses. As far as i'm concerned, i find this very generous, since most of my friends have to pay rent to their parents for their stay not to mention an increase in their daily chores, despite the fact that we're incredibly stressed with school!


:eek: :eek: :eek:
Rent at parents???
For my southern European (aka at-home-with-parents-till-you're-married-and-sometimes-even-after) ears that's so weird!!! Well people who have a job (not students!) do help with money at home as far as I know, but not in the form of rent... Well of course everyone, students and not, pay their own stuff...

I'm so excited about going away for my postgraduate and I hope that will mean moving out for good, I feel weird at still living with my parents even if it's perfectly normal here... and I hope I'll be able to do everything on my own (as I said, I've already had a good share of help) :)

LOL @ 18, here you're considered a baby till you're 40...when I was 20 and travelling my mum was afraid I'd meet "paedophiles" :lol:

[Chava]

There is obviously a huge leap in mentality... It seems so strange to me, since my scandinavian society encourages an independant life style. When i was 16 i went to France for nearly a month on my own, without being able to speak the language at all! It was an awesome experience, and there have been many like it since. I think i calculated the total, to my having visited or lived in 18 countries, that's 1 every year, and a good deal of these are without my parents, with me paying for the trips myself.

Actually, it's fairly common to use italians as a threat. "You don't want to be living at home when you're 40 do you!" is a pretty common refference to italian males. :)

[Koa]

Ahah I know, and I have lived with Northern Europeans so I know about the very different mentality we have...

I also use that phrase, when I say one of the reasons for me running away soon is that I don't want to live at home till I'm 40 :D
You know, I know a guy who's 37 and lives with his parents... I don't know if he pays them rent, sure he pays his stuff etc, but that's too much even for here but he's not married, so...

I have also paid for all my crazy travelling, but I have always felt a bit guilty because even if the travel money was mine, the only reason why I could save it is because I was living with and being spoilt by my parents for all the rest. When I see how Northerners have to work their way since youth, I feel kind of grateful to my parents...and I feel a bit of a spoilt kid.
When I was 18 I went to Germany alone (to join a friend) and that gave great scandal. Only lately no one frowns anymore when I announce one of my weirdest departures, I think they got used to me...;)

[subterranean]

I just felt like putting that out there and encouraging other college students on this forum (I know that there are a lot) to thank the people who make their life a little easier. I'm sure those that have helped you would appreciate even just a simple letter. It's the least you can do for them smoothing out some of the places on the rough path of life for you.


This is a very fine suggestion, indeed! :thumbs_up

And it would be best to pass out those goodness we received from others as well. The once helped becomes the helper :)

[Shannanigan]

lol...yeah, it's a joke here about living with your parents till you're 40 :) I'm often reluctant to tell people I meet that I live "with my boyfriend and his mom" because a lot of the 20-year-olds I know and went to school with have already moved out and are renting apartments!

A lot of the students at my college still live at home with their parents, and their parents pay for school, and for their gas, and for their car, and for pretty much everything. I find it to be a pathetic extension of high school and a poor way to build character and responsibility...especially for students who really don't even want to be in school and are just doing it because it's what their parents want and their parents are footing the bill. What a waste.

Even if the kid still wants to live at home, they should, in my opinion, have at least a part-time job and help their parents/family out as a thank-you, or make their own car payments (or gasp! buy a USED car that they can afford without a loan!). Just do SOMETHING to prove that you're not a kid anymore...I mean, my mom told me at 18: "Shannon, either you stay my child and my resposibility and have a curfew of 11 pm and aren't allowed to go anywhere alone with boys, or you become an adult responsible for yourself and pay rent." A little drastic, looking back now, but I chose the second and therefore made the conscious decision to become an adult who is responsible for myself.

I own my car; bought it by saving and saving and saving (from waitressing, no less), and I got scholarships to pay for school and housing by working and working and applying for LOTS of scholarships and keeping my grades up. I'm proud of myself. I'm not a "college kid," like some of my classmates are. I'm a "young adult" fast becoming an "educated young adult."

That's just my rant. I found the perfect restaurant to buy a gift certificate at for my cousin and his fiance, who let me store my stuff in their closet. I know they're gonna love it cuz they said they'd been wanting to try it...:D

[Koa]

Yeah, well, you see, that's why I feel a spoilt kid. I live with my parents (well, until next week...yay), I use my mum's car (but I hate to drive and I do it as little as I can, as we have an alternative unlike the US ;)), I have worked for some periods and done nothing for others, taking just temporary jobs... Some of my friends worked more, some pay for their gas while, ehm, I've never had to do that... And all I have in my defense is that at least I've been a good student, as I know some people who just study and are also very much 'behind' with exams (you can do that here, you can take as long as you want). My parents are very..ehm...spoling, sometimes I have to insist to pay for my own stuff, if I go shopping with my mum she usually won't let me pay, and sometimes I just let her do it, sometimes I try to pay myself but most of the time I surrender. Of course that happens like once a year, if I go shopping on my own that's my money... My parents saved for me all the money I was given from relatives for big events like first communion and such, and little scholarships I got, and when I started uni that all was put into my own account - so that I was rich enough to do my travelling without asking for more money etc. Now I'll leave and do everything with my money too (as every time I've lived abroad for a while, but the other times I've had scholarships) and my parents keep saying that if I need more they'll give me, but I want to try and do on my own, I already found a little job for a few hours - that's a start.
So well...I know the value and I know how a "young adult", as you put it, should live, but I'll become that only now that I'm leaving home even if I'm definitely a full adult in age... :blush: :blush: :blush:

[Jean-Baptiste]

Yes, one of the biggest things that I dread is payback time when I'm finished with school. Well, I don't dread it, of course it will be relief. I do try to remain as self-sufficient as possible, but I have to admit that going to school would be impossible without the support of my family and friends. For the past decade, while I was wandering around the continent and sitting in libraries, I was the epitome of self-reliance--and my family seemed happy with such an arrangement; now that I'm (finally) in school, they seem to be making up for lost time by trying to give me everything possible. Anyway, I won't owe anyone any money when I'm finished, but I feel like I'm going to have to earn a doctorate, become Poet Laureate, and win the Nobel Prize in order to thank them properly.

Thanks for starting this thread, Shannanigan.

[Shannanigan]

^^^no problem :)



Yeah, well, you see, that's why I feel a spoilt kid. I live with my parents (well, until next week...yay), I use my mum's car (but I hate to drive and I do it as little as I can, as we have an alternative unlike the US ;)), I have worked for some periods and done nothing for others, taking just temporary jobs... Some of my friends worked more, some pay for their gas while, ehm, I've never had to do that... And all I have in my defense is that at least I've been a good student, as I know some people who just study and are also very much 'behind' with exams (you can do that here, you can take as long as you want). My parents are very..ehm...spoling, sometimes I have to insist to pay for my own stuff, if I go shopping with my mum she usually won't let me pay, and sometimes I just let her do it, sometimes I try to pay myself but most of the time I surrender. Of course that happens like once a year, if I go shopping on my own that's my money... My parents saved for me all the money I was given from relatives for big events like first communion and such, and little scholarships I got, and when I started uni that all was put into my own account - so that I was rich enough to do my travelling without asking for more money etc. Now I'll leave and do everything with my money too (as every time I've lived abroad for a while, but the other times I've had scholarships) and my parents keep saying that if I need more they'll give me, but I want to try and do on my own, I already found a little job for a few hours - that's a start.
So well...I know the value and I know how a "young adult", as you put it, should live, but I'll become that only now that I'm leaving home even if I'm definitely a full adult in age... :blush: :blush: :blush:

But see, with you, at least you recognize that this is a little strange and try to insist on helping out :) Kids here just take it, don't even say thank you, because they expect it, and walk out the door, only to come back asking for more!

Good luck moving out on your own! :)