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nicholasburrus
11-27-2003, 05:00 AM
AS I DROWN

Help me!
I am drowning in a world
What you and our ancestors created
It is no genius idea
I feelhands around my neck killing
It is not a suicide
It is a homicide



What do you think?



THERE WILL BE A TIME

There will be a time
When 200 million people die in flames
It is near
In the Nuclear Age
The whole world will sense it
The time has come


What do you think?

__________________________________________

The countries that are in the Nuclear age is:
United States
United Kingdom
Isrel
Italy (Vatican City not included it is its own country)
China
Japan
Sweden


_____________________________________________
THE WISH


I wish, I wish
Of a world free
Free of violence
I wish, I wish
Of a world free
Free of itself
I wish, I wish
Of a world
That will grant
My wish


What do you think?
bbq13
11-27-2003, 08:37 AM
im not sure i understand this... it seems like you want to break free from all your people's traditions, make something new for your generation... i may be wrong with this interpretation... but i like the way you've written this...
AbdoRinbo
11-27-2003, 09:03 AM
You should turn off the caps lock.
Jay
11-27-2003, 10:09 AM
well, I think I see an idea in the poem, but the Caps Lock thingy would help... and maybe the spelling thingy as well...

If you want to emphasize some words, capitalize them, that's okay, but if you have the poem all in capital letters, it kinda ruins the idea of emphasizing. Well, if I understand the poem a little...
den
11-27-2003, 10:26 AM
What do I think? The idea that you feel you have no control, no power over the hands taking your life away, very sad. :(
nicholasburrus
11-27-2003, 10:33 PM
Thank all for tips
den
11-28-2003, 09:19 AM
Maybe you'll share some more nicholas?
Stanislaw
11-29-2003, 09:34 PM
The poem is kind of bleak, but I enjoyed.
nicholasburrus
12-02-2003, 10:33 PM
Sorry
WX6[ck]
12-03-2003, 06:03 AM
Good poem, though you missed sweden. They got a SSBN class submarine capable of launching nuclear missiles.
azmuse
12-04-2003, 12:52 AM
i like the caps lock thing it looked intentional not random...the headings worked for me
nicholasburrus
12-05-2003, 04:59 PM
Will without them it is more professinal
nicholasburrus
12-05-2003, 10:26 PM
Thank you all for the help sould I post more?
azmuse
12-06-2003, 02:41 AM
of course
nicholasburrus
12-09-2003, 12:31 PM
Got it now