PDA

View Full Version : Is anyone out there?



downing
06-25-2006, 04:40 PM
This is another work of mine. What do you think of it?






IS ANYONE OUT THERE?


‘Is Anyone Out There?’ I heard these words for the first time, felling the cold breeze blowing through my hair in the bleak night of April, after the Titanic sank. There was nothing in the air, just the feeling of useless and waiting…There were hundreds of people waiting… waiting to die or to be saved… In those moments, to us it didn’t mean too much if we survived or not; we were happy we weren’t those which went before into the deepest part of the Atlantic. It could be said that we had HOPE, but a hope which soon disappeared for many of us, standing at the surface of the water, having an ice breath, hearing the sound of the untouchable night and the rare birds which went above us, having a sound which inspired terror and reminded our ephemeral breath.
Then a sound in the distance…some words which I couldn’t understand too well at the beginning… after that, when it came closer, I heard: ‘Is anyone out there?’ I said ‘yes’ but they didn’t hear me. I saw several people, friends of the water, as I said to me, who were saved. But the save boat didn’t come too close to us. We remained there, hoping that others will come soon, but no other came. We started enjoying the water, which, even was freezing, made us feel that there was our place. We went into a perfect understanding with it, as we didn’t feel us anymore…just the water which was our best friend. We, the friends of the water, didn’t talk anything. I asked myself why. We had a communion, a secret communion which didn’t need any words... we suffered together and that was everything for us.
I looked at the moon and I realised I never saw it more beautiful. It appeared so round, in its whole splendour and I understood I have never seen the moon before… Then, I heard the sound of the water, which was like an ode to the ocean and I felt the moving of the waves which was a hymn to the sea… I remembered that, when I was little, I loved the sea and I always dreamt to sleep on the waves. For me, the sea was the single place where you could really feel happiness, the place of eternal peace and the place of good souls. I knew that the good people went into the water and stayed there for an eternity filled with peace... At adolescence, after reading Ibsen, I was again certain of the influence of the sea on the human being. Ruled by the beauty of the ocean, I decided to cross the Atlantic for the first time in my life… and there, staying in the peaceful Atlantic, I still was sure I WILL arrive to America.
Since that night, I heard every night the same words: ‘Is anyone out there?’ and I become unknowing whether it were true or it was just my imagination, which needed the feeling of survival…
Now, even it’s been 90 years since then, I still feel the cold breeze around me and the wind blowing in my hair… Even 90 years passed, I still hear some words, as clear as at the beginning: ,,Is anyone out there?’’. But I do not have the power to answer…

Kelly_Sprout
07-02-2006, 12:46 AM
I always feel cheated when I post something I've written and although the "viewed" count rises, no one replies, so I wanted to let you know that I read your piece tonight. I don't how much or how little to say. Should I say, "Nice work" and leave it at that? Should I say, "This made me feel/think/etc. this way" which is a little more depth? Should I say, "You nailed it right here, but maybe a little more polish there" as a sort of critique? Not knowing you, or the rules of society in this forum, I hesitate to give too little or too much. Still, at least you know someone read your work.

downing
07-02-2006, 11:23 AM
Very interesting your point of view, Kelly Spourt! Sincerly, you made me happy that I had got a reply at my work. And don't hesitate, I would like to see a critique! It won't bother me, it will be a pleasure!

downing
07-02-2006, 01:10 PM
excuse me for writing with mistakes your name: I should have said Sprout.

downing
07-05-2006, 07:02 AM
any comments?

Shakira
07-05-2006, 07:58 AM
I really dont know what to say because Titanic has always been my favorite movie. I had cried when I saw its end & I cried when I lost it when my hard disk crashed & I did feel a pang when I read your story. You may think Im crazy or something but I did cry a little after reading your story.

Great work . . . at least in my opinion . . . for me.

downing
07-06-2006, 06:04 AM
Thank you very much Shakira! :)

downing
07-06-2006, 06:23 AM
you made me very happy when i read these wonderful words!

Suzieq47
07-06-2006, 10:20 AM
Who are you, downing? Your public profile doesn't tell us much. I agree with Kelly, it's difficult to know how to respond to this piece of writing, when we don't know what you want, other than "comments." That said, it may be of some value to you to know that the numerous grammatical errors made this piece very difficult to read.

Janine
01-02-2007, 10:12 PM
Downing, I liked your story very much. It is well written and gets to the point. It is emotional, without being overly so, and the theme of the water and sea is excellent. I too, liked "Titanic" and other films about the great ship with most of the people perishing. Ofcourse, the survivor stories touch our hearts in a special way as yours did mine. Keep up the good work!
Also, glad you added a profile for us to see just who you are.