I'm a relativily a new poet heres one critisism please

[hitchhiker]

I have recently started to write poetry and no was has really read any of it so I figured I would post some on here please tell me what you think.

I walked into a dim-light screeningroom
Old used and wasted
With the sets torn and worn
From the thousands before me
A voice resinated from the darkness
The annoncer spoke
-This movie you are about to see is nothing new
-You have seen the twilight through and through
-Please set your self in the middle set of the front row
The movie began
With a girl playing a baby grand
Each key note was wet with a soul
Deep and disireable
Like the **** of a seducing women
Each scene went on
Raping its self around me
Cool smooth cloth
The movie continuesly showed for days
The feature exacuted birth and death
And the existing moments between
The long awaited end has arrived
This is what I have created
A film of my eratic life
From my deepest sorrow
To my highest euphoria
As I exit the theatre, another enters
To go through the same procedure in and out
This film is my headstone
This film is me greatest work
This film my achievment of birth and death

[Asa Adams]

There are some logical errors that you will notice and correct in time. But other than that, this is a very unique peice that has an unarguable amount of potential. a very moving piece of work. Check the thread on poetry.com to halt any dissapointment from that aspect. very nice piece.

[Logos]

Hello hitchhiker, welcome to LitNet :)

You had posted these poems in topics that were unrelated, so, I have started this, your own topic in Personal Poetry for you to post your poems.