Things My Mama Taught Me... :D

[Pendragon]

Mama's often seemingly contradictory advice: Share it with us! :p

Mama taught me all about contortion: "Just take a look at the dirt on the back of your neck, young man!" ;) :D :nod: http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/konfus/k060.gif

[Shakira]

My mother taught me LOGIC : "Because I said so, that's why."

[Shakira]

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS :
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

[Shakira]

My mother taught me about WEATHER :
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

[Shakira]

My mama taught me about HYPOCRISY :
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

[Shakira]

My mother taught me about JUSTICE :
"One day you'll have kids, . . . and I hope they turn out just like you"

[mir]

my mother taght me about hygeine . . . "you don't know where that's been! don't eat it until later when the germs have worn off. : D"

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me to be a Ventriloquist: "How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full, boy? Answer me!" :lol:

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me to be very Religious: "Boy, you better pray that comes out of your clothes!" http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/engel/g030.gif

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me all about The Great Circle of Life "Look, boy, I brought you into this world, don't make me take you out!" http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/boese/s010.gif

[Shakira]

When I was 3 my mama taught me to talk & walk. When I turned 18 she asked to SHUT UP & stay inside the house.

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me about gambling: "If you don't clean up that mess you made, boy, you can bet you aren't going on a date tonight!" ;)

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me to be a lawyer. "Well, if you haven't been smoking, Mister, why did I find half a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in your underwear drawer? Answer that! ;) :blush:

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me to entertain myself. "If you are so bored, I'm sure I can find you some more chores to do!" ;)

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me about honesty. "Alright, boy, let's hear your side of the story, bearing in mind that the school has already called me!" :brow:

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me about revenge. "One day you're gonna have kids of your own to walk all over you!" In this case, Mama was right... :nod:

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me grammer. "It's about time you learned, boy, that 'NO!' is a complete sentence!" ;)

[RJbibliophil]

This is ridiculous....

[Pendragon]

It's only ment to be fun, Piglet. You are only young once, make it last as long as possible. When you let go of laughter, you let go of life! ;) :lol:

[kathycf]

My mama told me I'd better shop around... remember that old song?

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me Magic Tricks. "Why don't you and your brother dissappear for a while and let me rest. But when I call you, you better show up!" :D

[kathycf]

My mama taught me about contradictions:

I asked you a question, don't you "answer" me, young lady!

(Just to clarify, she wanted an answer, but didn't like my attitude while providing said. :lol: )

[white camellia]

I love fish and Mama taught me to cook fish and told me that one needs an adept dish.

[miss tenderness]

Camilla, long time no see
how are?
have u graduated or not yet?

[Kelly_Sprout]

Mamma taught me how to measure time: "Just wait till your father gets home!"

[white camellia]

Camilla, long time no see
how are?
have u graduated or not yet?

Hi, tender! (Hugs)... but I am back. I am enjoying my summer vacation now. I graduated in June and am going to attend the graduate school in september so I start to look forward to another graduation. How are you doing now? Must have got some new experience away from campus.

Camellia

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me Botany "Do you think money grows on trees?" :lol:

[Madhuri]

Mama taught me Botany "Do you think money grows on trees?" :lol:


ha ha ha :lol: :lol: that is what my parents used to tell us. After reading most of the posts I have come to this conclusion that most of the parents worldwide think alike.

[Pensive]

ha ha ha :lol: :lol: that is what my parents used to tell us. After reading most of the posts I have come to this conclusion that most of the parents worldwide think alike.
How right you are, Madhuri! By the way, I hear the very same sentence "Do you think that money grows on trees" nearly everyday.

[Madhuri]

How right you are, Madhuri! By the way, I hear the very same sentence "Do you think that money grows on trees" nearly everyday.

Hey Welcome back, Pensive. Howz the wedding, you must have enjoyed a lot.......

[Pendragon]

Mama tried her best to teach me about Cloning "Go mow the yard, boy!" [A few minutes later, while mowing:] "Didn't I tell you to clean up that room?" :lol:

[Kelly_Sprout]

Mama taught me about directions:
"Don't go there, boy! Uh-uh!"

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me about intolerance. "I ain't gonna tolerate any more of that lip, boy, so shut up!" :D :nod:

[miss tenderness]

Hi, tender! (Hugs)... but I am back. I am enjoying my summer vacation now. I graduated in June and am going to attend the graduate school in september so I start to look forward to another graduation. How are you doing now? Must have got some new experience away from campus.

Camellia


I'm doing great, no new experience I'm still in my vacation Camellia dude:)

happy graduation darlin ...ur graduation present is coming to you soon
wait for it.

[Pendragon]

My mama taught me about the paranormal. "You think you can get anway with lying to me, boy? I can read your mind! You've got guilt written all over your face!" :lol:

[Kelly_Sprout]

My mama taught me about British Thermal Units (BTUs): "If you are going out, take your sweater." "But I'm not cold, mama!" "Well, I am, so take your sweater!"

[Pendragon]

My mama taught me about sentence structure. "NO is a complete sentence, boy!"

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me appreciation of art. "I don't appreciate you drawing on my walls with those markers, boy!" http://www.industreal.spb.ru/smiles/painter.gif

[Madhuri]

This is hilarious Pen. :lol:

[Pendragon]

:lol: I laugh about it now, Madhuri, but when I was small, I swore I would never be like my mother. Then I had three children of my own, now 19, 17, and 15. And guess what? I find myself saying the same things to them that my mother said to me! :lol: Ah, the great circle of life come complete! :)

My mama taught me about livestock. "Were you born in a barn, boy? Shut that door!" :lol:

[miss tenderness]

mama told me never to trust men!!:P most of women agree:D

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me to make quick decisions about a menu. "You got two choices, boy: Take it or leave it!" ;) :lol:

[miss tenderness]

:D :D :D Pen,that fits to me too:lol:

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me about punctuation. For years I thought you spelled my first name with an exclamation point after it! "Dale!" :lol:

[miss tenderness]

mama taught me to ALWAYS luck the doors up!they are alot of mistrusted people in the earth!

[Kelly_Sprout]

Mama taught me about Obedience:
"Company's coming, so shut your mouth and mind your manners."

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me about clairvoyance. "I didn't have to see you do it to know you are the guilty party, young man!" :lol:

[optimisticnad]

Mamma taught me about intention: 'Just cos you didnt mean to push him off the swing (sibling) dont u mean u didn't do it'.

[optimisticnad]

Mamma taught me that money can buy love/silence: 'Don't tell your daddy and I'll buy you something nice and pretty'.

[optimisticnad]

wow. i can come up with loads of stuff-all contradictory of course. and they never ever follow their own advice and just never admit their own mistakes, does that than make them a hypocrite? i had to battle with that issue when i was years younger than I am now (still young). mammas r a weird SPECIES.

[optimisticnad]

Mamma taught me to love thy neighbour: 'oh, all the plums have gone funny. Here take some to the neighbours.'

[Pendragon]

Mama tried to teach me what was good for me. "You will shut up and listen to me, boy, if you know what's good for you!" :lol:

[OZEED]

Mamma, taught me the fine art to creating suspense. "YOU JUST WAIT TILL WE GET HOME YOUNG MAN" *kringe*

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me the future could be bleak. "Boy, you keep up that sass, and you ain't gonna have no future!" :lol:

[Madhuri]

Mama taught me how to make a comparison. "Jus' look at your brothers, they are so good in maths and you, you barely manage to pass. You better improve and be good" :lol:

And I never improved and was never good.....he he he......:D :D

[cuppajoe_9]

Mama taught me about sentence structure.

"Alex! Toast! What on?"

[cuppajoe_9]

Mama taught me about architechtural moral authority.

"While you're under my roof, you'll obey my rules."

[cuppajoe_9]

Mama taught me about alternate nomeclature for electric fans.

"The...umm...the roundy-roundy-blowy-thingy."

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me how to name characters in a story. "Allen! Dale! Dallen! Whatchername! Get in here right now!" :lol:

[miss tenderness]

:D:D:D:D
the idea of this thread is awesome,pen..

[tiny explorer]

i'm wondering .... what my mama didn't taught me....she just had everything spoonfed...
the thing i like my mama kept telling me is...keep away from boys...they just give you a baby..funny!!

[Shalot]

My mama taught me how to have low self-esteem. What a witch.

[tiny explorer]

hmmmm....not like really a witch maybe of a gremblin?!!!oooops just kiddin....
my mama taught me to tell others how things sometimes come out not really the way they should be...so i'd rather not be gullible

[Kaltrina]

Oh Pen this thread is great... :lol: I had a great laugh... thanks.. :D and I totally agree with Madhuri, all the parent are the same.... while reading your posts Pen I thought you were writing about my mom... lol

My mama taught me about reminders: (after I started cleaning) Will you ever clean this dust around this house girl. :lol:

[Kaltrina]

My mama taught me about psychics 'I already know everything so better tell it yoursel'

[Kaltrina]

My mama taught me Explosive devices: oh my God, did a bomb explode in your room???

[tainaprincess]

My mom taught me about pigs "This room is a pigsty"

[miss tenderness]

My mama taught me how to have low self-esteem. What a witch.sorry to hear that! Is she that bad?some mothers do this inintentionally ,Shalot. Most of the mothers are demanding ,you know. Despite how your momy treated you, you should have faith in yourself because you're a nice person. Your posts speak about a person of a high confidence .


My mama taught me how to pull money out of my dady's pokcket,"Men do not give up money easily, sneak to their pockets once you urgently need sth,remmebr urgently means when I ask you to do so"

[tiny explorer]

sorry to hear that! Is she that bad?some mothers do this inintentionally ,Shalot. Most of the mothers are demanding ,you know. Despite how your momy treated you, you should have faith in yourself because you're a nice person. Your posts speak about a person of a high confidence ."

I think shalot's just good enough of knowing how to have herself in the right level of confidence...she's not really losing that thing...i even find her just making fun of it...well, she knows that!!!


my mom taught me how to pee.... somewhere behind the tall grass....
hahaha:lol:

[miss tenderness]

I kNOW THAT Tiny!! that's what I said in my post. One of the things that I've noticed in my dear Chalot posts is her great confidence. The fact that she joks about it is one proof of this.

[Shalot]

sorry to hear that! Is she that bad?some mothers do this inintentionally ,Shalot. Most of the mothers are demanding ,you know. Despite how your momy treated you, you should have faith in yourself because you're a nice person. Your posts speak about a person of a high confidence .


My mama taught me how to pull money out of my dady's pokcket,"Men do not give up money easily, sneak to their pockets once you urgently need sth,remmebr urgently means when I ask you to do so"

I think maybe my mom was just trying to protect me, maybe? The world is a vicious place and if you prepare your kids for the worst, maybe they won't be so helpless against their enemies as they grow up? (Maybe!!!)

I don't even know -- the relationship between a mother and a daughter is complicated one isn't it? Whatever. I think I believe in goodness. And if you strive for goodness and for the well-being of mankind and all those your know then you can't go wrong, right? :confused:

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me there would be days like this. She never mentioned they would run into weeks!:)

[Serenata]

Mama taught me about empathy..."If mama ain't happy, no one is gonna be!"

[Serenata]

Mama taught me wisdom: "Even a turtle knows, you can't get no where unless you stick your neck out."

[Serenata]

Mama taught me to respect my elders: "If you girls don't shut up that giggling and do what I told you, there's gonna be Hell to pay!"

[miss tenderness]

have I said that I love this thraed???!!!!!!!!!!

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me to respect my elders: "If you girls don't shut up that giggling and do what I told you, there's gonna be Hell to pay!"I like that! I would have put it this way: Mama taught me that Hell really exists: "Boy if you don't improve that algebra grade there's gonna be Hell to pay!"

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me that what goes around comes around. "You just wait until you have kids of your own, Buster! You'll see!" Mama was right on that one...

[Pendragon]

Mama gave me history lessons. "Don't think for a second I've forgotten that you've been grounded for two weeks, boy!" "You still have to pay for that window you broke last week buster, because I ain't forgot about it!" "Why don't I trust you? What did you pull the last time you went on a camp out with the guys? Did you think I'd forget?" :D

[Scheherazade]

Mama gave me history lessons. "Don't think for a second I've forgotten that you've been grounded for two weeks, boy!" "You still have to pay for that window you broke last week buster, because I ain't forgot about it!" "Why don't I trust you? What did you pull the last time you went on a camp out with the guys? Did you think I'd forget?" :DThat sounds more like your Mama proved that maternal memory is better than an elephant's!

:D

[OZEED]

My Mama, taught me about medical science.If you don't stop crossing your eyes young man, they gonna stay that way!

[OZEED]

My mama taught me about botany. If you swallow that orange pip, an orange tree is gonna grow in your tummy.

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me advanced logic. "So your best friend is going to the party? So what? If he jumped off a cliff, would you jump too? Now shut up! I said you're not going, and that's final!" :smash:

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me about heaven and hell. "Boy, get out there and mow that lawn or as sure as there is a God in Heaven, there will be hell to pay!" :)

[Pendragon]

Mama taught me to have understanding and imagination. "Let's have an understanding here, boy! If you ain't back by curfew, you better just keep going, because when I get a hold on you ___________." :lol:

[Madhuri]

Mama taught me to have understanding and imagination. "Let's have an understanding here, boy! If you ain't back by curfew, you better just keep going, because when I get a hold on you ___________." :lol:

This happened to me a lot of times, :D if I was a bit late, she would actually not allow me to enter the house. :( And I still cannot understand how being half an hour late was such a big issue for her... :rolleyes:

PS: I guess I am a bit snappy today, and nothing nice is coming out of me, all my todays posts are like that....:(

[Pendragon]

Mama also taught me the scientific principle of cause and effect. "You wanna know why? 'Cause I said so, that's why and if you don't listen it could have serious effects on your rear end!" :lol:

[Serenata]

Ah. Dear Old Mom.

Mama taught me about life "Life's a b***h and then you die."

[Serenata]

Mama taught me about wildlife "Don't touch that, it'll bite you.... Oh go ahead. You're gonna do it anyway."

[Serenata]

Mama taught me reason "Because I'm your mother."

[Pendragon]

Just to be serious for a moment here, instead of my usual wisecracking self. My mama taught me self-respect, respect for others, honesty, hard work, and the value of both money and a man's word. She also taught me that money will never buy back respect or your word once you loose it, so hang on to it. My mom was, and is, the most precious lady in the world. And because of the things she taught me, I am who I am today. Here's to you, mom. I'll love you forever. http://www.cosgan.de/images/midi/liebe/d010.gif

[Laindessiel]

Wow! How horrible mothers can be! (At least just verbally. It's for our own betterment, eventually.)

I like this thread, Uncle Pen! Kept me laughing! Unfortunately, my mom didn't use such "harsh" words on us because it's either:

a.) She knows us completely well that we'll never do things that can make her heart race like a cheetah chasing an impala.

b.) She trusts us.

Maybe it's not "either". Maybe it's both! But I have one thing to share. She's always like this:

Our mommy taught us that the eyes are the windows to the soul:

"Makuha ka sa tingin."

Roughly translated: "Look at my eyes and you'll get what I mean."

[dramasnot6]

My momma taught me about life: After comparing myself to someone else, she said "It's not what you have, it's what you do with it" Ive been carrying around that sacredly since

[alhara]

as a precurser I love my mommy and view this as one of the funnier things she has ever said to me

My Mamma taught me to stay healthy
" stop crying you´ll make yourself sick"
"íf you throw up i´m not gonna feed you to replace the food you lose"

heres somethig sentimental
"I´m not gonna tell you just be yourself and everything will be ok, it won´t, people will not understand you or judge you. They fear what is different and strong, I will tell you that your family loves you for being your self and they always will"

[dramasnot6]

aww that is so lovely alhara

My momma taught me about people:
On vacation as a little kid, we passed a club with a man outside promoting "Naked ladies on display!" I turned to my mom and said "thats disgusting!!" and she replied "That may be disgusting but thats what people like":lol:

[alhara]

moms are soo funnny it´s those kinda things my mom say that makes me love her the most. Those societal truths, silly cause i know shes been wrong sometimes but i can´t think of a time when my mothers adviece wasn´t good.

[dramasnot6]

yea, same. But maybe we're all just a little blinded by maternal love, huh?

[alhara]

maybe (sigh)

[Pendragon]

That was really the point of this whole thread. Yes, our mothers say things that sound funny, and that seem contradictory, and we can laugh about them. But when one has children of one's own, you'll find yourself doing and saying the same things. Mom always used to tell me how difficult it had been when she grew up, and I was always like, yeah, yeah, here we go again! Yesterday, my oldest son was complaining because his part-time job doesn't pay enough money for him to pay his "bills" and him to still "have fun." His only bills are his cell phone, his insurance on his truck, and to pay his mom and dad back for having the engine rebuilt when he blew it by driving to hard and fast. We are not asking but just so much a month, and the bill was over $3000! First thing I knew, I was telling him how hard I had had it as a teenager, that I had had to buy my own clothes, pay rent, no car, bicycled or walked every where, and suddenly stopped. I could her mom in the back of my mind! :)

[Serenata]

I do that sort of thing too, except with my friends. My mother always hated when people pronounced words with silent letters, ie: Supposebly instead of supposedly. I found myself correcting my friends.

[Madhuri]

That was really the point of this whole thread. Yes, our mothers say things that sound funny, and that seem contradictory, and we can laugh about them. But when one has children of one's own, you'll find yourself doing and saying the same things. Mom always used to tell me how difficult it had been when she grew up, and I was always like, yeah, yeah, here we go again! Yesterday, my oldest son was complaining because his part-time job doesn't pay enough money for him to pay his "bills" and him to still "have fun." His only bills are his cell phone, his insurance on his truck, and to pay his mom and dad back for having the engine rebuilt when he blew it by driving to hard and fast. We are not asking but just so much a month, and the bill was over $3000! First thing I knew, I was telling him how hard I had had it as a teenager, that I had had to buy my own clothes, pay rent, no car, bicycled or walked every where, and suddenly stopped. I could her mom in the back of my mind! :)


I wonder what will I tell my kids (thinking in future)....I have had a reasonably good life, without any hassels (not much of finance problem that I should crib). I cant tell them life is all good, I SHOULD have something to lecture them too, how will I feel I am a parent, without having anything to lecture...:( *getting worried* he he he :D