jokes

[Stanislaw]

Wow, I have been sitting here for a while, browsing posting, creating new threads, and I felt that this forum has a lot of funny people...
So does anyone have any good jokes.:D

[fayefaye]

i read the WORST joke in a physics exam. don't suppose u want bad ones?

[Jay]

lol Faye, the joke being "you passed"? ;)

[fayefaye]

LOL. actually, i've never failed. :) (touch wood)
it went something along the lines of
'u're travelling north down the freeway at 100km/hr when u crash head-first into an oncoming truck. (numbers and masses were given but i can't remember) ur life flashes before ur eyes. naturally, u think of physics.' it's so lame i actually laughed!

[Stanislaw]

That wasn't too bad. I have heard worse...

For example some chem jokes.

A Neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a drink, and then asks the price of the beverage. The bartender then repliess " for you sir, no charge".

Or

Two atoms run into eachother while walking, one falls. The other asks if the fallen atom is okay and the fallen atom responds that he has lost an electron, the othe atom ask are you sure, and the fallen one responds, yes I am positive.

I think science profs think they are incredibly funny.

[Isagel]

So, job humour:

" How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but the lightbulb most really want to change"

[fayefaye]

lol. i can't believe i laughed! oh-from my grade nine chem teacher: 'the mole. it's not just a dumb furry animal'

[Jay]

lol, I love those jokes :)

*can't think of a joke that would come out okay in English...*

[Isagel]

Favorite psychology joke is actually a true story.

When the Gestapo forced Freus to leave the country because he was jewish they wanted him to write a document that stated that he had been well treated.

Freud wrote (my translation, so it might not be fully correct) : " I can warmly and heartfelt recommend Gestapo. "

[nicholasburrus]

What do you call a talkative taxi driver?

[Stanislaw]

I don't Know.

[Jay]

A talkative taxi driver? Oh yeah, deffinitely in a sarcastic mood.

[Stanislaw]

Lol that is an odd joke. Sarcasm is fun. I realize that may not be the answer, yet it is still funny.

[Jay]

*don't know the answer to that as well, a lot sarcastic today*

You like sarcasm? Goody, I'm game ;)

[Stanislaw]

free-range? Ha Ha Ha that was more of a pun, but oh well.

[fayefaye]

i was going to reply with talkative taxi driver too :) then i figured i'd wait around for nic to give the answer.

[Stanislaw]

Here is a Joke that made me laugh *tears and all*, infact it is really quite sad :rolleyes: , but when a lame joke is delivered at just the right moment it is better than a good joke.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino?

Elliphino (hellifIno):p

Isn't it great:D

[fayefaye]

Not really... :) (and I'm taking your mark and thus ruining your accomplishment:))

[Stanislaw]

Ahem, I believe not.

[fayefaye]

Yeah, ok. Bye Stan.

[Stanislaw]

I have nothing better to do. I am infact quite bored. How's life?

[mir]

It's good. and, REVIVED!!! :D

[mir]

also -

Never insult a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes.

That way, when you insult him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes.

[Jean-Baptiste]

You probably heard this one already. I've never heard anyone actually laugh at it.

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "can I get you a beer?" Descartes says "I don't think..." and he disappears.

[SummerSolstice]

Hah! I went to an academic program one day a week from 1st grade to 8th, and every year for your last three (four?) years you had to go to this inane logic "workshop" thing. They brought in a grad student from the nearby college and he/she taught the SAME THING every year. I think it was in eighth that a kid raised his hand in the middle of the section on Descartes and told that joke. Matter-of-fact, no intro, no follow-up, that was it. Very nice bewildered expression on the grad-student's face. :lol: