Log in

View Full Version : Siesta Key



Jarndyce
05-30-2006, 12:10 PM
As always, comments, criticisms, and ridicule much appreciated!


The old man smiles at an apple
sleeping lonely in a chipped,
centerpiece bowl. The young man,
drinking beer, nods his head—
slowly. For no one.
Sea gulls and pelicans sit
or take flight, uneasy with the promise
of the afternoon storm, shouting
impatient orders for shrimp, fries.
The young man starts each time
the waitress taps another round
against his shoulder. She's careful
with her tray, hot chowder
and iced whiskey barely lean
against their smokey brims
as she bends, slender with age
instead of beauty, setting new
fork and spoon, removing empties.

Virgil
05-30-2006, 12:19 PM
That's beautiful, Jarndyce. It really captures the place. It feels like I'm that young man drinking beer and watching the waitress bend over. ;) Or perhaps now at my age I should identify with the old man looking at apples. This feels like almost a Ceszanne (?spelling, I know) painting. I love it that the pelicans are impatient for food orders.

Mililalil XXIV
05-30-2006, 10:47 PM
That is truly an event translated into words.