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that kid
11-14-2003, 11:07 PM
hello everybody, i was looking for a new place to start sharing my poetry and a dear friend shared this site with the forum i frequent now. i was hoping to get some new people to read and comment on my work, so as to make it as good as possible. anyhoo... i thought i would share my favorite piece right now, and if you all like my work, i suppose ill continue to post it. anyway...here goes....

renaissance man

the sight evokes a smilie
the thought reminds
and brings quite the opposite
the touch lingers
and coaxes a desire for more
but the eyes
gazing
bright
fulfull
and the smile
is enough
AbdoRinbo
11-14-2003, 11:10 PM
It's cute, but what has it got to do with a renaissance man?
that kid
11-16-2003, 04:47 PM
the poem was written about a man at a renaissance faire. also, a renaissance man is some one that others admire, like the guy in the poem.
Isagel
11-19-2003, 10:48 AM
I like it very much. Itīs not very often I get to read poem about men, and about liking to look at one.
But what is "fulfull"?
Jay
11-19-2003, 01:58 PM
might be "fulfill"???
that kid
11-22-2003, 02:18 PM
yea...its fulfill. sorry. i'm a bad typist.
Jay
11-27-2003, 10:17 AM
no biggie, I'm not a great typest myself, but reading what you typed before posting could help...
that kid
11-27-2003, 10:32 AM
perhaps....
nicholasburrus
11-28-2003, 01:03 PM
Each line shall be capitalized and the Renaissance Speaks old Englash and Italin
that kid
11-28-2003, 01:58 PM
wha?
Stanislaw
11-29-2003, 09:39 PM
Intersting piece. Im not sure what old english and latin have to do with it. I liked it, it was nicely done.
that kid
11-30-2003, 09:35 PM
thank you very much. i appreciate it a lot.
Stanislaw
12-01-2003, 10:42 PM
No problem, good poetry needs to be recognized.
nicholasburrus
12-01-2003, 10:59 PM
Still it is good
MacBeth
12-10-2003, 06:49 PM
Ah! Some fresh talent which was engendered in an unlikely place. True poetry is not something a man can properly define, but some things can be said. Foremost, you have a certain touch which gives the piece some fluidity. This is difficult to attain. Even the great Shakespeare lost this form in some places, take sonnet 18 for example: there was too great a pause between lines three and four. You however have a consistant fluidity. Keep writing kid; I'd like to see some of your work, say, five years from now, when your style is fully developed.