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Dirt McKert
05-24-2006, 02:24 PM
'youth'
[a field trip to my past]
4.17.5

today i took a trip
ten years in the past;
another when
another world -
a different me.

mounds of sand no longer standing
where some grass has now grown in.
an old pole where games of tether
were once enjoyed
now
stands
alone -
with no tether
with no ball -
amidst a barren blacktop
where a jungle
once stood.

everything has changed
since then
when we were young
impressionable and
innocent
to the terrors
of the world.

games were played and
songs were sung with
all those kids...
we
were
all
so
young.

Dirt McKert
05-24-2006, 07:20 PM
it's polished...is it shiny yet?

chmpman
05-24-2006, 07:22 PM
Did you add punctuation?

Dirt McKert
05-24-2006, 07:23 PM
i think i added one semi-colon and changed parenthases to dashes
...that's the only punctuation i changed.

otherwise i mainly changed a few words
and broke up some lines - which made it seem longer.

i totally destroyed the form i once had.