finally a thread!

[mir]

well, i was never really planning to post this, but - thanks riesa and xamonas - this poem is now up for people to comment, bash, praise, or eat. so, i'd appreciate any feedback, and enjoy/hate/digest!

The air sighs music.

Or perhaps it is the waves –
Beating rhythmically
Upon an unaffected shore.
No – all is the song.
Air, and waves, and
Even the shifting of sand, as tiny crabs skulk the beach
Hunting for food.
We have tried to capture the sound
In artificial tubes,
Metal cages and
Wooden prisons.
But somehow –
It is still most beautiful here
Where moon, sand and waves
Cooperate in an infinite concerto
Dedicated to the stars.

[Jarndyce]

"Air, and waves, and"

Love this line. You've gone where lots of writers have gone before, and many will go again, but I really just like the simplicity of the rhythm here.

It's not the best thing you'll write, but the feel of it is wonderful.