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spacetoon
05-17-2006, 03:44 PM
Hi

I present to you my personal poems and I look forward to hearing from you any suggestion, comments or correcting. However, I am not very very good in english, so correct me if I am made mistakes in grammer. That would be very helpful to me.

How Brave I am in my world,
In my ground I stood,
Standing Tall,
Walking Tall,
With Lions without fear,
In woods,
How Brave I am like the knights,
I crossed the deserts late at nights,
Holding my soul and my heart,
Filling them with love and delights,
That is How Brave I am.

Please, share your thought .

amanda_isabel
05-17-2006, 04:37 PM
How Brave I am like the knights,
I crossed the deserts late at nights,


spacetoon,
wrong grammar on the second line presented here.

'i crossed the desert late at night.'

but on the whole the poem was great. :)

Juarez Fialho
05-19-2006, 05:40 PM
Could be "cross the deserts late at night" too, depending on if you mean the deserts metaphorically, if you mean one specific desert or if you mean the deserts you usually cross….

Juarez Fialho
05-19-2006, 05:44 PM
p.s.

Spacetoon, you occurred on the same mistake on the other thread... You cannot put an "s" on the end of words that should be on the singular just so they rhyme.

Try to think longer about the poem and you will certainly find words that rhyme and permit the thing to sound correct...

Sorry for criticizing, my friend! You know I love to read your poems!!!

Keep it going!