Mother's Day

[Riesa]

Her shut-eye trust in the elastic cadence of her creation.

[Virgil]

I love it, Riesa. I think you need a question mark at the end of the first stanza. The beginning might be a little awkward with "Mommy" twice within a couple of lines, but so what. I love your diction, "luculent" -great word! But while "contumelious" is another great word, did you really mean to modify a mother's blindness? From M-W:

contumelious
Main Entry: con·tu·me·li·ous
Pronunciation: "kän-tü-'mE-lE-&s, -tyü-', -ch&-'
Function: adjective
: insolently abusive and humiliating
It seems like a stretch to me, a little too harsh. But it's your poem.

I love the ending, though:

Making cracked
Gasping outcasts
Of the gulping pair,
Who try at once to evade and grasp
The remembrance of shared, easygoing love,
While all the while caught on their own tortuous hooks.

Oh, Riesa. You don't spit out poems fast enough for me. ;)

Happy Mother's Day.

[jon1jt]

Waking to the rustle of warm hands,
quiet, wholehearted “Mommy”, a clumsy heart
Cut with craft scissors,
The note, a painstakingly
Carved capital letter
Shout : MOMMY I LOVE U,
Art of the holiest form.
How to preserve this staunch adoration,
This child’s adept simplicity at gathering and giving love;

And it does spoil, the fecund confidence splinters,
The soporific mother-touch becomes invasive,
Dour secrets cloud the luculent new heart,
While Mother
Stubbornly rhapsodizes that
Daughters are beautiful,
Her shut-eye trust in the elastic cadence of her creation
Fails to visibly wrack her stout, resilient faith,
Buries the sullied truth,
So easily secreted away in her dark way.

The child’s fearsome tug to contradict competes with
The Mother’s contumelious, obdurate blindness;
Making cracked
Gasping outcasts
Of the gulping pair,
Who try at once to evade and grasp
The remembrance of shared, easygoing love,
While all the while caught on their own tortuous hooks.

I'm really not sure what you were attempting here - it just reads as a load of adjectives and over modified craziness, and I'm not sure there's a point. What I gather is that it's about a mother and the joy her daughter brings, which, over time, transforms wistfully, that's about it

contumelious, obdurate blindness
cracked
Gasping outcasts
visibly wrack her stout, resilient faith
fecund confidence splinters
painstakingly
Carved capital letter
These lines come off as sounding less like lines and more like strained, abstract word groupings. Even after I looked up the word, "contumelious," I'm still not exactly sure what kind of "blindness" you mean. "Gasping outcasts" is enigmatic; I have no clue who you're referring to or what you're talking about. "Stout" could probably be omitted, since resilient covers it. I bolded areas that are wordy, and worse, which come with little or no concrete imagery, or perhaps it was your intention not to use any?

Art of the holiest form.
This cliche makes me want to reach for an eraser and get rid of it for you. :D What do you mean, exactly?


I noticed that most of your work is top-heavy with words like contumelious, obdurate, fecund, and so on, and you're an extraordinary wordsmith at that. But, often, it's a little too much and borders verbose, which lends to clutter the poem and syphon meaning and sentiment. I'd like to see more imagery to describe the incredible range and depth of emotion displayed. I hope this helps.

[berna]

Blessed is your face
Blessed is your name
My beloved
Blessed is your smile
Which makes my soul want to fly
My beloved
All the nights
And all the times
That you cared for me
But I never realised it
And now it’s too late
Forgive me

Now I’m alone filled with so much shame
For all the years I caused you pain
If only I could sleep in your arms again
Mother I’m lost without you
_Sami Yusuf_

[Riesa]

jon, thank you! I really appreciate the time you took to read and criticize, you have some valid points, especially re: art of the holiest form. :D And, It's not the first time I've heard 'modified craziness' being spoken in my vicinity. ;)
But, often, it's a little too much and borders verbose, which lends to clutter the poem and syphon meaning and sentimentThis was really the most helpful, and something I will keep in mind, next time I'm playing with a ms works untitled blank document.


berna, I don't really know what you are trying to say there, is it an example of what my poem should have been? If so, I think I'll stick with my own, even being the way it is.

Virg! Thanks for the comments and crit. too.

I am just really happy to finally get a remark out of Jon. :D

[Jarndyce]

I am just really happy to finally get a remark out of Jon. :D

And he's absolutely right, too. There's nothing wrong with stretching the vocabulary if the word makes sense, but here it's just like throwing bricks at a window.

I'm adding the poem below, because I read it last night, and it's similarity and simplicity here might be a good lesson:


"A Little Tooth" by Thomas Lux

Your baby grows a tooth, then two,
and four, and five, then she wants some meat
directly from the bone. It's all

over: she'll learn some words, she'll fall
in love with cretins, dolts, a sweet
talker on his way to jail. And you,

your wife, get old, flyblown, and rue
nothing. You did, you loved, your feet
are sore. It's dusk. Your daughter's tall.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Soryy Riesa, but I have to agree with a lot of the comments here. There is a lot to like in this poem, but it does read like it swallowed a thesaurus. I don't think that the cliched subject matter helps either - you haven't really managed anything original here. I can't find any of the beautiful images and word sketches that were in your last two poems either. This needs a lot of work to save it I'm afraid - The poem Jarndyce just posted says most of the same things so much better.

You know I'm a fan - but even a fan has to admit when their team has a bad game. :(

[Riesa]

Thanks guys for the honest crit, a quick revision makes it better, I think, but considering its subject matter, I could probably delve deeper, too, I'm really skirting the issue on how I really feel.. And xc, you can't win 'em all. ;) Jarndyce, do you teach private lessons? :D



Waking to a clumsy heart
Cut with craft scissors,
The note, a painstakingly
Carved capital letter
Shout : MOMMY I LOVE U,
How to preserve this staunch adoration,
This child’s adept simplicity at gathering and giving love?

And it does spoil, the easy confidence splinters,
Mother-touch becomes invasive
As dour secrets cloud the new heart.
Mother stubbornly rhapsodizes that
Daughters are beautiful,
Her shut-eye trust in the elastic cadence of her creation
Fails to visibly wrack her resilient faith,
Buries the sullied truth,
So easily secreted away in her dark way.

The child’s fearsome tug to contradict competes with
the blind chin-up of the mother,
The pair become intimate strangers
Who try at once to evade and grasp
The remembrance of shared, easygoing love,
While all the while caught on their own torturous hooks.


but, eh, maybe with this one I won't mind so much when it disappears forever in lit-net's broken poem basement.

[Virgil]

While the poem could be tightened up in places, I don't agree with a lot of the criticism. I happen to like "art of the holiest form", although it probably has been used before (but I'm not aware of it). The Lux poem is of a completely different subject. The Lux poem is about time slipping away while your children grow up, and Riesa's poem is about the paradoxical inadequacy of living up to motherhood yet it's central importance. If it's verbose, well that's Riesa's style, and she's in good company when you consider William Faulkner, Dostevsky, Shakespeare, Spencer, Tennyson, Ginsberg, Walt Whitman, Wordsworth (to name what comes to mind) can all be looked at as verbose. Paradox sometimes requires layering and complicating of modifyers which can seem verbose, but if taken out can be quite a different poem, if reduced to minimalism.

[Riesa]

I guess I should add that the first stanza is about my own daughter and the second and third is about my relationship with my mother.

[Virgil]

I guess I should add that the first stanza is about my own daughter and the second and third is about my relationship with my mother.
Oh I didn't realize that.

As I'm comparing your revised version with the original, I kind of like the original third stanza better than the revised.

[jon1jt]

it's well over a year since i've read and left comments for this poem, enough time and distance between then and now to read with a fresh perspective. i think it's healthy for poets to do this for poems they've read of others and their own work as well.

i sense a motherly warmth in S1. it's a bit over-sentamentalizing for me, though i do enjoy the youthful energy. i also like the reference to "craft scissors" which throws me momentarily into my own past. i still don't quite grasp, however, what's between the two that is threatened and thus needs "preserving." is this the speaker's fear more than anything else? i'd also like to hear more about the child's "tug" and the "sophmoric mother" who in some sense appears as an object of criticism, and yet i can't quite figure out exactly why this is the case. was it "all" shared, easygoing love" those days---or is this the one-dimensional view of the speaker, who herself "becomes" a mother considering the fate of her own (blemished) relationship with her daughter? i'd like to know more about the grandmother, that relationship laid out in S2 because i'm not convinced, not that it requires it, just in the sense of drawing me in---that empatheticness of reading poetry.

i think my perspective has changed some and in other ways it has not. i think you could have done without some of the meaty words and been less evasive. i still crave a clarity here.

i was wondering what others think of this poem that i reviewed over a year ago.

[Riesa]

hmmm. parts of it make me cringe, others not, I think I'm ready to face it again, though, I'll see what I can do, thanks Jon. :) I'm going to rummage around in the litnet basement here, and see what I can find of yours. turn around is fair play, no? :p

[jon1jt]

i think the grandmother in the piece is an expression of the time in which she lived, whereas the mother (once daughter) in S1 seems to come out of a different age---the "modern" one. i.e. jaded. :) in fact the only thing that's changed today is how parents view themselves as parents.

i vote that the resident poet...ahem...Riesa, "tells" us what this pome is about. yea!

[Pendragon]

How do I interpet any poem? I try to get a feel for the poets voice. How they present things. I cannot read minds, even if I have been accused of it.

This poem speaks of a parent having to deal with the realization that no matter how much you love that child, that child isn't going to remain a child. The day will come when your love and advice will be tossed back as rejected, when the child who once believed dad or mum could do anything will now wish they didn't even exist, they embarass them so much. They find the once loving arms now confinement, a home now a prison. And you have to love them enough to let go despite the pain. Mothers don't have the monopoly on this, my daughter's becoming a woman almost broke me. The good news is that one day, they learn trust and love for the parent again.

My analysis, Riesa. Your words. You judge if I have caught the essence of your poem.

[Riesa]

Pen, I think your analysis is pretty apt. I think when I wrote this I just felt such sadness, a strange mixture of sentimentality for my daughter's innocent love, and awareness of how my own love has been tarnished over the years for my own mother, who btw happens to be a wonderful woman on all counts, I just think it must be something a lot of mothers (and fathers) and daughters go through.

and you are right, I'm almost 38, and my mother and I are starting to speak to each other on an entire different level now, I've been freed of some hesitation towards honesty that I've felt in the past, and she's much more accepting and open than I could have ever thought ten years ago. Ideally I'll manage a closeness with Daphne that my mother and I somehow failed through the roughest years, maybe it's my own personality, or maybe it's just doomed. I guess it remains to be seen, my daughter's about to turn 7.

anyway, I wrote a quick revision, see if this is easier to stomach and doesn't read like it swallowed a thesaurus, XC!! :p :lol: He's banned so I can't yell at him for that comment. but Jon, I'm going to grab YOUR eraser and erase some of your lines for you and see how you like it!! :p Like, umm, let's see...;)


My daughter’s clumsy craft scissors heart,
a painstakingly carved capital letter love shout,
her intuitive confidence that her simple gift equals my feeling.

As how once mesmerized,
I caressed polished fingernails
through long hours of church,
regarded the sheen of her stockinged knee,
'till my paper-heart tore as easily as they.

Mother-touch turns from tender to invasive,
dour secrets withheld from the shut-eyed woman,
whose trust in the elastic cadence of her creation
stubbornly rhapsodizes that daughters are beautiful.

The child’s fearsome tug to contradict
competes with the resilient faith,
shared, easygoing love evades
those seeking to grasp.

[jon1jt]

Pen, I think your analysis is pretty apt. I think when I wrote this I just felt such sadness, a strange mixture of sentimentality for my daughter's innocent love, and awareness of how my own love has been tarnished over the years for my own mother, who btw happens to be a wonderful woman on all counts, I just think it must be something a lot of mothers (and fathers) and daughters go through.

and you are right, I'm almost 38, and my mother and I are starting to speak to each other on an entire different level now, I've been freed of some hesitation towards honesty that I've felt in the past, and she's much more accepting and open than I could have ever thought ten years ago. Ideally I'll manage a closeness with Daphne that my mother and I somehow failed through the roughest years, maybe it's my own personality, or maybe it's just doomed. I guess it remains to be seen, my daughter's about to turn 7.

anyway, I wrote a quick revision, see if this is easier to stomach and doesn't read like it swallowed a thesaurus, XC!! :p :lol: He's banned so I can't yell at him for that comment. but Jon, I'm going to grab YOUR eraser and erase some of your lines for you and see how you like it!! :p Like, umm, let's see...;)


My daughter’s clumsy craft scissors heart,
a painstakingly carved capital letter love shout,
her intuitive confidence that her simple gift equals my feeling.

As how once mesmerized,
I caressed polished fingernails
through long hours of church,
regarded the sheen of her stockinged knee,
'till my paper-heart tore as easily as they.

Mother-touch turns from tender to invasive,
dour secrets withheld from the shut-eyed woman,
whose trust in the elastic cadence of her creation
stubbornly rhapsodizes that daughters are beautiful.

The child’s fearsome tug to contradict
competes with the resilient faith,
shared, easygoing love evades
those seeking to grasp.

ahem...XC and i were right then and we're right today! :sick: O shame ye Riesa for ye oxford-esque vocabulary, for making me (and XC!) feel beneath ye! the sheer haughtiness, the pomposity, the high brow verbosity and erudicity...Affectation! :lol:

my concern with the re-write is locating the grandmother. help.

minor issues: am i reading L1 and L2 correctly? she cuts out a heart that becomes a "letter"??? help. some confusion is there for me. i'm curious if i'm the only one that doesn't see the grandmother.

and where's Virgil when you need him? :brickwall

i really enjoyed Pen's interpretation, which clarified a lot for me.

[Riesa]

;)
ahem...XC and i were right then and we're right today! :sick: O shame ye Riesa for ye oxford-esque vocabulary, for making me (and XC!) feel beneath ye! the sheer haughtiness, the pomposity, the high brow verbosity and erudicity...Affectation! :lol:

my concern with the re-write is locating the grandmother. help.

minor issues: am i reading L1 and L2 correctly? she cuts out a heart that becomes a "letter"??? help. some confusion is there for me. i'm curious if i'm the only one that doesn't see the grandmother.

and where's Virgil when you need him? :brickwall

i really enjoyed Pen's interpretation, which clarified a lot for me.


what about my interpretation?? :p Pen's was apt, not completely spot on, but he was certainly heading in the right direction. but I (the poet) just walked you through it.

Virgil? He's mad because he doesn't smoke pot.


and I did say it was a quick edit, hardly worth the kb's its burning. :D

[jon1jt]

;)


what about my intrepretation?? :p Pen's was apt, not completely spot on, but he was certainly heading in the right direction. but I (the poet) just walked you through it.

Virgil? He's mad because he doesn't smoke pot.


i seriously think it's time for Virgil to let loose. C'mon Virge, enough of this moralizing...get on your tie-dye shirt and come meet me in the West Village! tell your wife that you won't be home for a few days because you're going camping. :lol:

i don't know Riesa, Virgil is worrying me lately...i think it's the upcoming election!

[Riesa]

i seriously think it's time for Virgil to let loose. C'mon Virge, enough of this moralizing...get on your tie-dye shirt and come meet me in the West Village! tell your wife that you won't be home for a few days because you're going camping. :lol:

i don't know Riesa, Virgil is worrying me lately...i think it's the upcoming election!


:lol: Now don't mention politics!!! drugs are okay, but no politics, you know better. :p

[jon1jt]

;)


what about my interpretation?? :p Pen's was apt, not completely spot on, but he was certainly heading in the right direction. but I (the poet) just walked you through it.

Virgil? He's mad because he doesn't smoke pot.


and I did say it was a quick edit, hardly worth the kb's its burning. :D

i'm still pondering your interpretation. :p


:lol: Now don't mention politics!!! drugs are okay, but no politics, you know better. :p

Virge is wearing his "Go Rudy Giuliani" t-shirt while watching the Yankee game. now is that American or what?!?!! :p Virge, c'mon, you know Rudy can't handle Hillary!

[Riesa]

My daughter’s clumsy craft scissors heart,
scrawled capital letter love shout,
her intuitive confidence that her simple gift equals my feeling.

As how once mesmerized,
I caressed polished fingernails
through long hours of church,
regarded the sheen of her stockinged knee, (her is Mima)
'till my paper-heart tore as easily as they.

Mother-touch turns from tender to invasive,
dour secrets withheld from the shut-eyed woman,
whose trust in the elastic cadence of her creation
stubbornly rhapsodizes that daughters are beautiful.

The child’s fearsome tug to contradict
competes with the resilient faith, shared, easygoing love evades
those seeking to grasp.

the lines in bold are grandma.

[jon1jt]

the lines in bold are grandma.

confusion #1 is that your daughter is the antecedent of her. :sick: the rest is, as they say, history. :)

[Riesa]

confusion #1 is that your daughter is the antecedent of her. :sick:


hey, no need for dead guy face. :sick: :p tongue guy works just fine.

but now I am convulsed. confusicated. contorted, in other words, HUH??

Here is the scenario:

I wake up, Daphne brings me a little heart Mother's Day card she made,

I am moved by her simple gesture which she is so proud of and her love is so obvious to me, and we are just as happy as two peas in a pod.

and it makes me start thinking about what it's bound to turn into... and I begin to reminiscence about my mom, and our relationship...

(got all this, Professor, or should I say Doctor?):p


Virge is wearing his "Go Rudy Giuliani" t-shirt while watching the Yankee game. now is that American or what?!?!! :p Virge, c'mon, you know Rudy can't handle Hillary!


ooooooo, Virgil just heard you say Hillary and his dreams are disturbed, he's waking up, heading out to the living room, just a wee bit more of that Glenfiddich.....

;)

[Virgil]

;) Virgil? He's mad because he doesn't smoke pot.


No, I'm not mad. :lol: I'm sorry, but I still like the original version best. I like the structure very much. However, I don't think one could grasp the shift from the Riesa/Daphne relationship to the Riesa/Mom relationship. If you could just tip us to that in some respects I think the poem would work. Is it too many adjectives, as the criticism was made? Perhaps, but they seem original adjectives, and adjectives are Riesa's style.

Ha! I see you're both getting into politics. :lol:

[jon1jt]

ooooooo, Virgil just heard you say Hillary and his dreams are disturbed, he's waking up, heading out to the living room, just a wee bit more of that Glenfiddich.....

;)


Virge is a bit overwhelmed at this time: he's in the middle of taking on the deconstructionists, the liberals, and the pot smokers. :lol:


No, I'm not mad. :lol: I'm sorry, but I still like the original version best. I like the structure very much. However, I don't think one could grasp the shift from the Riesa/Daphne relationship to the Riesa/Mom relationship. If you could just tip us to that in some respects I think the poem would work. Is it too many adjectives, as the criticism was made? Perhaps, but they seem original adjectives, and adjectives are Riesa's style.

Ha! I see you're both getting into politics. :lol:

hello virge glad you could make it...i've been waiting a long time for you to get on over here! :p you see Riesa, i'm with Virge about the relationship confusion. but c'mon virge, the original is oozing with verbosity, no?

[Riesa]

:D
Virge is a bit overwhelmed at this time: he's in the middle of taking on the deconstructionists, the liberals, and the pot smokers. :lol:

and defending my beloved adjectives! All Hail the Virgil!

hip hip hooray! :D

I know, Virgil, I like the way the poem sounds to me in it's original form, except for Art of the holiest form, oh, how that grates on my ears now. :lol:

but, I will have to figure out a way to make it more clear, I think some of my changes in the re-write were heading in the right direction.

[jon1jt]

My daughter’s clumsy craft scissors heart,
a painstakingly carved capital letter love shout,
her intuitive confidence that her simple gift equals my feeling.


i have issues with S1. :)

perhaps you didn't intend to rhyme heart and shout, but they sort of do, and rough on the ear.

carved capital letter love shout. what letter?? i dont like the five word streaming.

Virgil!

[Riesa]

i'm still pondering your interpretation. :p

:lol: :lol: :lol:

what the moon considers day, the sun considers night.


My daughter’s clumsy craft scissors heart,
a painstakingly carved capital letter love shout,
her intuitive confidence that her simple gift equals my feeling.


i have issues with S1. :)

perhaps you didn't intend to rhyme heart and shout, but they sort of do, and rough on the ear.

carved capital letter love shout. what letter?? i dont like the five word streaming.

Virgil!

I think I edited that, I'm losing track. here's the deal.. You write the poem, and I'll check if it's satisfactory to you.

:confused: :p :lol: :goof:

[jon1jt]

I think I edited that, I'm losing track. here's the deal.. You write the poem, and I'll check if it's satisfactory to you.

:confused: :p :lol: :goof:


do you want it to really not make sense? :lol:

[Riesa]

do you want it to really not make sense? :lol:

that certainly was always not my intention. :lol:

[jon1jt]

that certainly was always not my intention. :lol:


oh be honest. reading one of my poems is the equivalent to doing 2 shots of Jack or one marijuana cigarette. :eek:

[Virgil]

OK, let's look at the adjectives.


Waking to the rustle of warm hands,
A quiet, wholehearted “Mommy”, a clumsy heart
"warm," "quiet," "clumsy" - I like them all here. No problem for me. "Clumsy heart" is a fabulous phrase.


Cut with craft scissors,
The note, a painstakingly
Carved capital letter
Shout : MOMMY I LOVE U,
Only adjective here is "craft" and that is a perfect visual.


Art of the holiest form.
How to preserve this staunch adoration,
This child’s adept simplicity at gathering and giving love;
"holiest" -OK, used a bit like I said a year ago, but i think it projects the mother's point of view. "staunch" is great here. "Staunch adoration," also fabulous.


And it does spoil, the fecund confidence splinters,
The soporific mother-touch becomes invasive,
"fecund" is off here for me; I would not use it. "soporific mother-touch" is another fine phrase. And original.


Dour secrets cloud the luculent new heart,
While Mother
Stubbornly rhapsodizes that
Daughters are beautiful,
"stubbornly" is only ok here, not bad, but it does link with "staunch" used before, so I think it works.


Her shut-eye trust in the elastic cadence of her creation
Fails to visibly wrack her stout, resilient faith,
Buries the sullied truth,
So easily secreted away in her dark way.
"Shut-eye" trust, again original, sparkling. "elastic cadence" does sound like it could be tightened. I can't conceptualize that. "sullied" and "dark" are plain but you can't sparkle on every line.


The child’s fearsome tug to contradict competes with
The Mother’s contumelious, obdurate blindness;
Making cracked
Gasping outcasts
Of the gulping pair,
"fearsome" again original use. "contumelious, obdurate" - it says what the poet is after. "cracked/Gasping" again ok. The rush of adjectives actually give it a feel of approaching climax.


Who try at once to evade and grasp
The remembrance of shared, easygoing love,
While all the while caught on their own tortuous hooks.
"shared, easygoing" alright but after those charged adjectives, a release here is appropriate. "tortuous" while not original is a perfect visual/metaphor for the theme of the poem.

I don't think it's bad at all.

[Riesa]

that was lovely, Virg. :) after all of that teasing. :blush:



oh be honest. reading one of my poems is the equivalent to doing 2 shots of Jack or one marijuana cigarette

YOUR poems? How did we suddenly get on the subject of your poems?? :p ;) :lol: this night is leaving me dizzy. I can't keep track.

[jon1jt]

VIRGIl: wha???

luculent new heart
The Mother’s contumelious, obdurate blindness

???

now i'm feeling high!

i think it's time for a fresh perspective...like somebody who agrees with me, help!

[Virgil]

that was lovely, Virg. :) after all of that teasing. :blush:


Oh that didn't bother me. Did you guys vote in the autumn poetry contest yet?

[jon1jt]

that was lovely, Virg. :) after all of that teasing. :blush:




YOUR poems? How did we suddenly get on the subject of your poems?? :p ;) :lol: this night is leaving me dizzy. I can't keep track.

c'mon, it was a shameless plug, riesa. don't you know, i have a blog of poems?? :lol:

[Riesa]

How about this...
go read the original, out loud to your cat.

get into it... put some heart in it! and then see if you hate it even more! ;)

[Virgil]

FromM-W:

contumelious
One entry found for contumelious.


Main Entry: con·tu·me·li·ous
Pronunciation: "kän-tü-'mE-lE-&s, -tyü-', -ch&-'
Function: adjective
: insolently abusive and humiliating
Strikes me as the perfect word. :p

[jon1jt]

Oh that didn't bother me. Did you guys vote in the autumn poetry contest yet?

poetry contest?? i love autumn poems!!! my pleasure virge. i was unaware of one. i prefer voting to writing them. :lol:

[Riesa]

Oh that didn't bother me. Did you guys vote in the autumn poetry contest yet?

No, Is that a hint?

tomorrow, done. :)

[Virgil]

Here: http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=28797.

I haven't voted yet.

[Riesa]

c'mon, it was a shameless plug, riesa. don't you know, i have a blog of poems?? :lol:

I want compensation for your adverts.

[jon1jt]

How about this...
go read the original, out loud to your cat.

get into it... put some heart in it! and then see if you hate it even more! ;)


i'm still learning to pronounce contumelious! :p

[Riesa]

FromM-W:

Strikes me as the perfect word. :p


I really like the word. problem with it is no one knows what it means.

[Virgil]

I really like the word. problem with it is no one knows what it means.

I had to look it up. But I should have known it from Hamlet's "To be or not to be" speech. "proud man's contumley".

[Riesa]

i'm still learning to pronounce contumelious! :p

not to mention soporific. :p

[jon1jt]

i'm going to go cast my vote right now! yipppeeeee!

and come to think of it, riesa, where's your pal Idril when i need her to team up on you and virgil?!!!

contumelious is not in my American Heritage Dictionary. so it's not a word.

[Riesa]

I had to look it up. But I should have known it from Hamlet's "To be or not to be" speech. "proud man's contumley".

see, if everyone knew their Shakey, there would be no problem with this poem.

[Riesa]

i'm going to go cast my vote right now! yipppeeeee!

and come to think of it, riesa, where's your pal Idril when i need her to team up on you and virgil?!!!

contumelious is not in my American Heritage Dictionary. so it's not a word.


You know she won't dirty her pretty little toes in this forum, the girl can't stand Poetry.

american heritage? is that the abridged version? :p

[Virgil]

i'm going to go cast my vote right now! yipppeeeee!

and come to think of it, riesa, where's your pal Idril when i need her to team up on you and virgil?!!!

contumelious is not in my American Heritage Dictionary. so it's not a word.

You need to get Merriam-Webster.
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/contumelious

[jon1jt]

You know she won't dirty her pretty little toes in this forum, the girl can't stand Poetry.

...give her some pot and she'll be shouting whitman off her rooftop! .

[Riesa]

...give her some pot and she'll be shouting whitman off her rooftop! .


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[jon1jt]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


:lol: :lol: and then Virgil will call the cops and bust up our wild party! :lol:

[Riesa]

:lol: :lol: and then Virgil will call the cops and bust up our wild party! :lol:

No Way! Virgil will drink Maker's Mark and then recite whole passages from The Sound and The Fury, it'll be fabulous!!

[Virgil]

:lol: :lol: and then Virgil will call the cops and bust up our wild party! :lol:

:lol: Funny you should say that. Last night when I took the dog for a walk around the corner were two teenagers or slightly older who I did not recognize from the neighborhood who were smoking pot. I was tempted to call the cops on them. :D Actually it wasn't the pot that disturbed me. They were hanging out in a suspicious sort of way that made me think they were up to something. Anyway I didn't.

[Riesa]

:lol: Funny you should say that. Last night when I took the dog for a walk around the corner were two teenagers or slightly older who I did not recognize from the neighborhood who were smoking pot. I was tempted to call the cops on them. :D Actually it wasn't the pot that disturbed me. They were hanging out in a suspicious sort of way that made me think they were up to something. Anyway I didn't.

That was Jon and me. ;) :lol:
thanks for not calling the cops on us.

[Virgil]

That was Jon and me. ;) :lol:
thanks for not calling the cops on us.

:lol: :lol: :lol: Were you selling it too? That's what I suspected they were doing.

[Riesa]

:lol: :lol: :lol: Were you selling it too? That's what I suspected they were doing.

Nah, not in your neighborhood, not selling, but buying, your neighbor, um, Stan... he's infamous for kindbud.
:p ;)

[Virgil]

:yawnb: Good night guys. Time for me to go to bed. :as-sleep:

[jon1jt]

No Way! Virgil will drink Maker's Mark and then recite whole passages from The Sound and The Fury, it'll be fabulous!!

you know something Riesa, that's a good point. i take that back, Virge would never bust up the party. if i had to put all my money on it, i'm going to bet that Virgil would do just as you say! and let's not forget ol' Whitman!!! :thumbs_up

[Riesa]

good night
Virgil, I'm right after you. all that talk, but come 10:00 I'm ready for nighty-night.

:)

[jon1jt]

take care Virgil, have a good night.

you know, you married folks are...um....well...ah....

[Riesa]

you know, you married folks are...um....well...ah....

:p I have to get up at 5. :yawnb: you?

[jon1jt]

:p I have to get up at 5. :yawnb: you?


what ever happened to the days of partying all night and going straight to work?!?!!!! sleep? puh!

Idril!

[Riesa]

done got old.

but I still do that on the weekends on occasion, if I've got no responsibilities the following day, :lol: that sounds lovely. :p Idril is sleeping.

[jon1jt]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

what the moon considers day, the sun considers night.

or, as morrison said, day destroys the night, night divides the day. ;)


(got all this, Professor, or should I say Doctor?):p


call me a bum, it's more earthy. :p


done got old.

Virge, where did those pot dealers in your neighborhood go? Riesa is depressing me! :lol:

[Pendragon]

Waking to the rustle of warm hands,
A quiet, wholehearted “Mommy”, a clumsy heart
Cut with craft scissors,
The note, a painstakingly
Carved capital letter
Shout : MOMMY I LOVE U,
Art of the holiest form.
How to preserve this staunch adoration,
This child’s adept simplicity at gathering and giving love;

And it does spoil, the fecund confidence splinters,
The soporific mother-touch becomes invasive,
Dour secrets cloud the luculent new heart,
While Mother
Stubbornly rhapsodizes that
Daughters are beautiful,
Her shut-eye trust in the elastic cadence of her creation
Fails to visibly wrack her stout, resilient faith,
Buries the sullied truth,
So easily secreted away in her dark way.

The child’s fearsome tug to contradict competes with
The Mother’s contumelious, obdurate blindness;
Making cracked
Gasping outcasts
Of the gulping pair,
Who try at once to evade and grasp
The remembrance of shared, easygoing love,
While all the while caught on their own tortuous hooks.


From Dictionary.com

con·tu·me·li·ous /ˌkɒntuˈmiliəs, -tyu-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kon-too-mee-lee-uhs, -tyoo-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation, adjective
con·tu·me·li·ous·ly, adverb
con·tu·me·li·ous·ness, noun


1. abuse, scorn, disdain, rudeness.


Riesa, the word stands proven as a word.