Belly Dancer

[Chava]

Distinctly different
she presents an alternative to the morose
scandalistic star’s that are common place clouded
by the smoke from a half burned
theatrics hall, that would have interested
the young squatters who are always
searching for a place to live.
Confidently complex
in the way her muscles move her
legs all over the place with
the shingle-shangle of her
waistband which glitters amidst the purple
material which matches the velvet of the carpet
which closes behind her.
Amiable Applause.

[genoveva]

I think your overall poem can be a lot more descriptive. I do not have a very specific image of where this dancing is taking place, nor what kind of place the dancing is taking place in. Who is the observer? What type of effect does the dancer have on the observer? I like your attempt at alliteration in the lines: "Distinctly different", "Confidently complex", and "Amiable Applause", however, I do not feel like these words themselves do much for the poem. Try some more powerful words, or perhaps, add an extra line if you can expound on those two word lines. I like the flow of the ending lines: "the shingle-shangle...closes behind her." I feel like, as a reader, I want to read more about this moment.

Perhaps it is because I am a bellydancer myself, I'm expecting a lot from a poem titled "Belly Dancer". In fact, maybe your poem even deserves a more descriptive title?