Inner Conflict

[Sunlight]

I am here, yet I feel away
I am fully grown, yet I feel in decay
I laugh, yet my heart is crying,
I think, yet I keep denying,
I breath, yet I feel breathless,
I care, yet I feel careless,
I think good, yet I feel bad,
I smile, yet I feel terribly sad,
I am calm, yet I shake my head,
I am alive, but it is as though I am dead.

By Sunlight

[blp]

Nice, Sunlight. It has a very strong echo (and I'm not saying you stole the idea) of François Villon's wonderful Ballad for the Contest at Blois from the fifteenth century.


I die of thirst beside the fountain,
as hot as fire, trembling tooth on tooth;
in my own country I’m in a far-off land;
beside a fire I shiver, all aflame;
as naked as a worm, yet richly dressed in furs;
I laugh through tears, and wait without a hope;
my only comfort is in sad despair;
I rejoice and have no pleasure;
I am strong, but have no force or power,
well received, rebuffed by all.

Nothing’s sure save what is yet uncertain,
nor more obscure than what is evident;
I have no doubts save when I’m positive;
in sudden accident is knowledge based;
I win all yet remain the loser;
at break of day I say, “Goodnight”;
when I lie down I have great fear of falling;
I’m quite well off and yet don’t have a penny;
I have inheritance and yet am no man’s heir’
well received, rebuffed by all.

I’m never careful, but I make all efforts
to acquire wealth though I have none to claim;
who to me is nicest most annoys me;
who speaks the truth tells me most lies;
my friend is he who leads me to believe
white swan is nothing but black crow;
he who harms me does his best to help;
lies, truth are now the same to me;
I remember all, but can conceive of nothing,
well received, rebuffed by all.

Most clement prince, may you be pleased to know
that much I understand, but have no sense of reason;
I’m strongly partisan and yet agree with all.
What can I do? What? Redeem my things in pawn,
well received, rebuffed by all.

[jon1jt]

My vote is for François Villon!

[Pensive]

Sunlight, I love it because of its rhyme and rhythm.

[Jarndyce]

Nice, Sunlight. It has a very strong echo (and I'm not saying you stole the idea) of François Villon's wonderful Ballad for the Contest at Blois from the fifteenth century.

"as naked as a worm, yet richly dressed in furs..."

And here is a perfect example of two things:

The first, there is so much to learn about writing from just reading, and finding a poem (story, etc) that is somewhat close to what you were attempting will help teach you more about your own writing than anything, anywhere; and

The second, that poetry is about the image, the words are there to present it in hopefully interesting and surprising ways.

[Sunlight]

Thank you for the positive comments! Blp - I just read Francois Villons poem and yes there is alot of symmetry! and its fantastic

[blp]

Thank you for the positive comments! Blp - I just read Francois Villons poem and yes there is alot of symmetry! and its fantastic

It is, isn't it? Glad you liked. :)