Sarah and Spring

[Chinaski]

It's Spring
And
Like the Daffodils
She is Everywhere I look
This Spring

I watch her
Leaning her face to the sun

When she moves, I smile
She smiles
And I think that,
Yes!
There is something there

But...

A cloud passes the sun
And I am reminded that
Sometimes Spring
Can make you believe
That Summer has come

I put on my jacket

Just
In
Case

[white camellia]

I found this prosaic.

But I like the ending:

Sometimes Spring
Can make you believe
That Summer has come

I put on my jacket

Just
In
Case

[Riesa]

I loved the entire thing, very simply written, but still tells so much. Beautiful.

[tn2743]

Me too. I like it! Sarah must be someone very special to be the cause of this tender passion.

[Chinaski]

Thank you all. She is special! I quite like the 'prosaic' comment funnily enough, as I guess that means, despite the subject matter(!) that the poem is not 'flowery'.

[tn2743]

I love this poem. I think it's flowery in a good way. I think it describes a soft kind of feeling (not too flowery :) ) that may conceal or is capable of becoming something much more passionate. Do you have more poems?

[Chinaski]

I used to write lots of poetry and prose, but I didn't bother replacing an old PC (with my work on). I have that poem because Sarah kept it - I wrote it to her just before we became an item. I wrote it after a coupla glasses of wine and posted it quickly before I sobered up - luckily she liked it - I think it may have swung things!

Maybe I'll start writing again soon.

[Virgil]

It is very nice and ironically unflowery! One thing I didn't understand, and perhaps it's just going over my head is "I put on my jacket". Why? Becuase it still spring? OK, I think I answered my own question.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Very nice - I'm not surprised this swung it with Sarah - she should be proud to have such a poem written about her.

[Regit]

I used to write lots of poetry and prose, but I didn't bother replacing an old PC (with my work on). I have that poem because Sarah kept it - I wrote it to her just before we became an item. I wrote it after a coupla glasses of wine and posted it quickly before I sobered up - luckily she liked it - I think it may have swung things!

Very nice poem.
Yes write more, and maybe buy more red wine too if it helps to keep producing this quality :D

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Very nice poem.
Yes write more, and maybe buy more red wine too if it helps to keep producing this quality :D

Absolutely - red wine is a known poetry stimulator - unlike white wine which has an inhibiting effect on the muses, but can stimulate empathic feelings.

I recommend getting bladdered on Frascati while really emotional and then downing a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon the next day to release the poetic juices. :D

[blp]

I looked at it once before and agreed with white camellia's 'prosaic' comment, but it gets better with a second reading. Not sure about the repetition of Spring in S1 - we already know it's Spring. I'm not a fan of the exclamation mark either, but that's all my nits. I love the thing about her leaning into the sun - as a daffodil would.

[Pensive]

This is a very good poem. I love it! This line is the best:

A cloud passes the sun
And I am reminded that
Sometimes Spring
Can make you believe
That Summer has come

[jon1jt]

I just finished reading a similar poem...I agree with White Camelia, too prosaic...besides the flowers. I'm glad you got the girl though!

[Chinaski]

Thank you all - apart from Mr. 'I just finished reading a similar poem' - miaow! Just joking - I read some of your other comments, and I could guess this wouldn't be your cup of tea - "different people got different 'pinions/Some like apples, some like onions" as my Grandma never, ever said. I take the point about the exclamation mark BLP - I would lose it in retrospect! oops there I go again - I hate em too - they're like nervous tics though, can't stop the buggers! And the more I think about 'em...!!!

[Page]

This is a gorgeous poem! So personal, so elegant, so open to life experience. Simple is beautiful too.