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Page
04-19-2006, 07:12 PM
Covered bridge along a dusty path
Past a rusty gate
Hanging over clumsy stones
Blanketed by a pale blue sky
And birds, birds tussle in a nest
The way a farmer works the boundaries
with his scythe
The barn tosses her chips into a
pussy willow storm
And millions of sounds go chinkle chankle
Out and about the whole shebang
The hay and wavy grass, the jingle jangle
of a playful wind
Enter an immense hole plowed into the bowel
of the old red barn out on Gunther's farm
bathed today by a sun shower

Tingling the minds of distracted heads
Exploring the virgin depths
The sounds like a running brook
Smell, her wiff of stillness, if it weren't for
the white sheets

Under tiny holes in the roof
Comes a distant howl
a frayed door without a lock
Without a door knob
Where the camera eye probes
Where faces are striped with beads of sweat
Dripping on the floor
The swelling warmth, the magnifying heat, the inertia
Inside the barn, doors flung wide open like brooding legs
by the rumbling tumbling storm
Ordained by a throng of pussy willows
Caught in a wind like a catcher's mitt

In the hapless swirls and curls of a frenetic painter
hanging on the periphery of a grassy knoll
A secret spot where he eyes
the barn

Virgil
04-19-2006, 10:47 PM
Very nice Page. I enjoyed that very much.

jon1jt
04-20-2006, 12:58 AM
I agree with Virgil, I really like this poem, which has an amazing rhythm and a kind of erotic, earthy texture to it, almost a dream-like quality. Overall, the language is imaginative - especially words like "chinkle chankle" and "jingle jangle", which allow me to "hear" and see the poetic landscape. Unless I'm totally reading into it, the second half of the work seems to involve a romantic romp which develops with the storm, and yet it's all expressed in brilliant metaphorical language. You've captured the feel of a country landscape in the first few lines and what amazes me is how smoothly it flows. I'm just wondering about the painter; I guess he's just taking in the panoramic view, participating in it on the same scale as the brook and sun shower? Very very impressive, Page, and refreshing to read here.

Xamonas Chegwe
04-20-2006, 01:37 PM
I agree with Jon about the dream-like quality here. I'm fairly sure there is a meaning here though - I'll need to read it again later.

Thanks for posting - I like it a lot.

Page
04-20-2006, 08:46 PM
Thanks ALL so much for your compliments and feedback. I'm new to the forum and am happily surprised to see that people actually read AND respond to each other's work!

Xamonas Chegwe & jon1jt: Dream-like, huh? I suppose farm life can be dream-like, at times! :-)
Jon1jt: Interesting...but I'll never tell! Your review is very gracious, thank you. :-) I leave the meaning to be discovered by the reader, always. :-)
Xamonas Chegwe: I love your name, it's Day of the
Jackalesque! :-)

Riesa
04-20-2006, 09:16 PM
Page, welcome to the forum. :)

It is a gorgeous poem. Anything with a barn in it has my interest immediately. You are extremely skilled with language, I'm looking forward to your posts.

Chinaski
04-21-2006, 07:42 AM
I liked this a lot - sort of Keats meets Heaney with a bit more 'raunch'! Excellent appeal to the senses.

Page
04-25-2006, 09:54 PM
Thanks sooo much for kind feedback, Riesa and Chinaski. I look forward to reading your work!!!