carrion (more crap that i wrote last night)

[amuse]

gouge me with a
turret and
clean out my
pores,
scatter my
bones so that
vultures can
sing

i'd like to
pretend
that i am still
clean but the
mirror of hades
is grinning at
me

[Transmogrified]

that's not crap
It makes sense!

"mirror of Hades" I love the expression and the usage.

[amuse]

Transmogrified, thanks. i don't know where that came from but it seemed to fit in well. sort of like both seeing a macabre version of myself in a mirror and seeing the d-vil grinning up at me from hell (through the mirror). had a sense more of leaning over a mirror, rather than standing looking into one, don't know if that came through.

glad it managed to make sense.

:thumbs_up love your avatar, btw.

[blp]

Mirrors are the doorways to the underworld in Jean Cocteau films - definitely in Orphé and maybe also in La Sangue d'un Poet (Blood of a Poet] - I can't remember too well.

Yes, it's much better than the last poem you posted.

[Pensive]

amuse, man this one is short but really good!

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Love the title!

Poem's not bad either. :nod:

[jon1jt]

I nice little poem - I love the line
scatter my
bones so that
vultures can
sing

The poem's title I could do without.

[Transmogrified]

ya give it a good title :nod:

[amuse]

well, i'd really like to call it breckoning (as in beckoning & reckoning) or maybe something along night beckons, or hades beckoning, anyway, nothing's really coming to mind. i guess the original title's kind of flippant, but i was semi-tickled by it.
scoured and unbleached also come to mind (too lazy to put quotations, sorry, but you know what i mean).
okay, end of brainstorm. i found the title - thanks for your patience, was going to ask for help but this just came to me: "carrion."
can you change it for me please, Scher? to:

carrion (more crap that i wrote last night)

Thank you! :)

OOh, you did it, thank you again!

[Isagel]

That is a much more fitting title.

Usually I think that only ee cummings may avoid the bold letters and punctuation. But OK.
I think you pass into that glorious company with this poem. It would not have had the same melody without it. It feels good to read out loud.