poem

[mir]

okay - i know this is a kind of weird poem, and pessimistic, but i'm still working on rhyming poetry - it's a new style for me - so i'd be really interested in any criticisms anyone has, or ideas on how to improve my rhyming poems.

Progress

Theme parks full of wonder
Concrete jungles swallow rain
Contentment torn asunder;
What sad beauty can remain?

Eye for eye and limb for limb,
The world crippled and blind
While sinners pray on pious whim
Courts rape justice blind

Ending in the gutters,
We have thrown aside the stars
The confessions our hearts mutter
Admit none of what we are.

But hope still springs eternal
For each lonely, sullied soul
And each heart contains a kernel
Of great beauty, were it whole.

So –

When comes the sorrow of defeat
Raise your head and laugh,
And crush beneath your tired feet
The sour grapes of wrath.

thanks!