Panting Lost Regret

[Dyrwen]

Wrote this after I tried to go to sleep, ended up hearing a chorus in my head and got up to type it out. Then 10 minutes later, this was on the screen. So... enjoy.

Panting Lost Regret

Sweaty and heavy,
my heart breathes steady.
Pummelled and tunnelled,
my mind seeks refuge.

Running away from today's bitter say,
the truth of your feelings and all that you pray.
Hiding from that which contradicts you,
the things you wished for, but could not live through.
The love of your life, and the hate of your lives;
all you seek is that pain to leave you,
before you die.

Sweaty and heavy,
my heart breathes steady.
Pummelled and tunnelled,
my mind seeks refuge.

Flaunting the stubborn nature,
the philosophy you've found.
The way you think it works,
is how you've ignored the sounds.
The screams of hypocrisy,
in all that you follow,
the ways in which it's true to you,
but only brings about more sorrow.

Sweaty and heavy,
my heart breathes steady.
Pummelled and tunnelled,
my mind seeks refuge.

And the eyes start to ignore,
blacking out from disgust.
Ignoring what you want in life,
and settling for what you need.
Appearance seen as strange,
and yet consequently unique.

All that you see,
is your image of me,
wheras all I do,
is make up who I am to you.

Losing myself in your wishes and dreams,
but gaining more hate in my vicious screams.
Forced to find myself upon your wasted life,
now a wasted corpse, of a teenaged life.
Unwanted love from your wishes and cares,
because of unseen futures, from your loving little stares.

All that you see,
is your image of me,
wheras all I do,
is make up who I am to you.

How I want you for me, but not to need you,
forever needed by you, yet never caring to want you.
Lost in myself, because of your ideas,
trapped in your clutches,
because of my hopes
because of my dreams,
because of what I'm told, is supposedly,
serene.

I wish now for only me,
a selfish rendition of all that I see.
Final content in a world of greed,
blissfully unaware of what I supposedly need.

All that you see,
is your image of me,
sweaty and heavy,
my heart breathes steady.
Wheras all I do,
is make up who I am to you,
pummelled and tunnelled,
my mind seeks refuge.

[Ickmeister]

I'd like to know what this song\poem means to you. If not, Ive got an Idea.

[Dyrwen]

It is half imagery, the panting, heart, real things that are discussed are a representation of reality. The thoughts that I live with, however, are pointed out in a more metaphorical sense.

Sweaty and heavy,
my heart breathes steady.
Pummelled and tunnelled,
my mind seeks refuge.
The above, imagery, of my mind cluttered by the heat of my home and the desperation to understand myself. Hence the seeking of refuge. I used this as a chorus, because it re-emphasized my lost mind seeking something, breathing harder and beating harder.

Running away from today's bitter say,
the truth of your feelings and all that you pray.
Hiding from that which contradicts you,
the things you wished for, but could not live through.
The love of your life, and the hate of your lives;
all you seek is that pain to leave you,
before you die.
I live my life, in an odd manner. I usually end up feeling completely at odds with my feelings, decisions, and thoughts through life. So the contradiction is brought forth. The love and hate, my feelings of conflict, battling with the reality of pain which brings a sense of life.


Flaunting the stubborn nature,
the philosophy you've found.
The way you think it works,
is how you've ignored the sounds.
The screams of hypocrisy,
in all that you follow,
the ways in which it's true to you,
but only brings about more sorrow.
This is mainly just my egotism brought forth, realizing how much I seem to always feel I've figured the world out. The emphasis from other's re-affirming that thought is not exactly helping either, but sometimes one is just capable of realizing one's own potential too fully. That which I feel I know, is also unknown to me, which brings about the sorrow in the ending line, seeing as my voyage for knowledge is never quenched, and then merely painful.

And the eyes start to ignore,
blacking out from disgust.
Ignoring what you want in life,
and settling for what you need.
Appearance seen as strange,
and yet consequently unique.
This is a basic description of me, my attempts at ignorance, yet my continuing individuality becoming more present. My future goals are set on what I need, not what I want, which that conflict of needs vs. wants is developing my unique naturedness.

All that you see,
is your image of me,
wheras all I do,
is make up who I am to you.
This chorus was mainly a transition from me seeing myself, to someone else seeing me, but as I rarely appear to do much more than I'm asked of from people, I remain as who they wish to see; rather than whoever I truly am.

Losing myself in your wishes and dreams,
but gaining more hate in my vicious screams.
Forced to find myself upon your wasted life,
now a wasted corpse, of a teenaged life.
Unwanted love from your wishes and cares,
because of unseen futures, from your loving little stares.
Becoming delluded to the future, hating it but loving it because I'm a masochist. Realizing my wasted present as it will not effect my future in the ways I wish. Then followed merely by the realization of so many people that do love me, and wish to be with me, but how I truly do not care to find myself in their love and cares, in the future, of.. apparently, loving little stares. heh

How I want you for me, but not to need you,
forever needed by you, yet never caring to want you.
Lost in myself, because of your ideas,
trapped in your clutches,
because of my hopes
because of my dreams,
because of what I'm told, is supposedly,
serene.
This is pretty basic, I don't want love, but I tend to get caught up in it easily. Much like love is.. following my heart, becoming a slave to my emotions, all because of hope, dreams, and an image of love as serene.

I wish now for only me,
a selfish rendition of all that I see.
Final content in a world of greed,
blissfully unaware of what I supposedly need.
I think that about says it all. My future, wasted in all needs, without anyone but myself, lost in ignorance, for the first time in my life, able to see that nothing matters, rather than my continuous attempts, to find that wrong.

All that you see,
is your image of me,
sweaty and heavy,
my heart breathes steady.
Wheras all I do,
is make up who I am to you,
pummelled and tunnelled,
my mind seeks refuge.
This is a combination of both choruses. The image of me, as I am, sweating and heart pounding. Making up myself to those around me, being pummelled by myself, yet still seeking salvation from it.

Heh, was that what you might've been asking? Thorough, I hope.