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dreamsbegone
03-31-2006, 11:38 AM
i woke up by the dawn
to behold the horses of the sun
jumping to work
but still it was dark
and still the shadow of the night
cover'd the horizon
i was cold ,empty and alone
i wished for a smile
to break the silence of the night
i wished for a laughter
to bring the joy of the morn
but it was me, my rose and a dog
who only passed the street in seek of home
despair was on my face
the wish of sleep was out of hands
in the few seconds of it all
the sun began to raise
the moon hath stepp'd way
to let the throne be taken
by the kingdom of the sun
so hath stars stepp'd away
to leave their work for their master
on it went from its place
the sun was half awake
and the morning marks were in space
smile and laughter were heared again

Virgil
03-31-2006, 12:01 PM
Hi dreamsbegone. I just noticed you're from Iraq. So I assume english is not your first language. I liked your poem. It had some really good parts. Great imagery here: "behold the horses of the sun / jumping to work". And this was very beautiful: "but it was me, my rose and a dog" Anyone that brings a dog into a poem warms my heart. ;)

Your english was off in a couple of spots, though. For instance: "in seek of home;" you mean, in search of home.

Goodness, I hope your country can find the peace and optimism of your pretty poem.