Reflections on a Major Event

[chmpman]

I would appreciate some helpful feedback on this. Thanks!


Reflections on a Major Event


Sometimes cataclysmic explosions
Have a manner of regeneration
And universal dimensions.

A sudden collapse will be the spark
Of a great transformation in the dark
And wasted boundaries shall disembark,

Flushed away by a force unfettered
Driven violently by winds wayward,
These remnants shall become spattered.

Spontaneous in the night sky
As yet unpredicted by telescopes’ eye
In a past epoch spent and gone by

They saw nature’s brilliance shine.
Viewed as an act of the celestial mind,
An omen to the foulest of mankind

That Nature’s laws act with malice
To those whose habits remain callous
And refuse to share our mortal chalice.

[Virgil]

I don't know, chmpman. I like your style in a general sense, but the rhyme seems forced. And triplet rhyme is pretty hard to begin with.

I liked this stanza best, for some reason:

A sudden collapse will be the spark
Of a great transformation in the dark
And wasted boundaries shall disembark

[Miss_Katie]

I really liked it a lot! I would probably work on the last stanza, because it does sound a little peculiar. I'm not sure why. It does bring home the thought though, just maybe a little rephrazing. I liked this one especially:
quote:
Spontaneous in the night sky
As yet unpredicted by telescopes’ eye
In a past epoch spent and gone by

[Pensive]

Chmpmn, this poem of yours is pretty good.

I think that this one does not fit a little because of rhyme and rhythm but I might be wrong...

They saw nature’s brilliance shine.
Viewed as an act of the celestial mind,
An omen to the foulest of mankind

[chmpman]

Thanks for the read and comments. I'll review your suggestions, pretty much all of them seem valid. I also think the last stanza is a bit forced, I'll have to change something.
The rhyme scheme actually came by accident with the first stanza, as is a little bit evident I think.
Anyone think there is a too apparent division between the first three stanzas and the last three? I get that impression. Also I'm not sure I like the punctuation. But I consider myself a novice at poetry so I have time to learn. Thanks again!

[Miss_Katie]

I am VERY much a novice, but from a very average point of view, I feel some division between 1st three and the last three stanzas. I think it just caught me off-guard because it didn't rhyme anymore, and then it did again in the last three stanzas. Of course, you could have meant to do that purposefully, in order to maybe draw attention to that stanza in particular? I've always believed that there are no real rules in poetry, but there are guidelines to make them likable to other people. It's just depends on what you are aiming for. Oops i really digressed!! Forgive me=)