Make Believe

[hippy_liberal]

They wander on the beaches
Picking sand and stones
Wondering why opaque oil
Covers treasures they once owned

And it’s too much for them to wonder
Why the sky turned black
Or why the Christmas season
Suddenly seems to lack

The magic they once loved
And the shiny fairy shoes
Of Santa clause and Pére Noel
And the tap of reindeer hooves

Some grow up too quickly
Forgetting all they know
Deeming it as useful
As melted summer snow

Others never learn
Of the lies their parents weave
And live within a shelter
Made of magic they alone perceive

But when do children grow
And learn a truth so new
Magic may be make believe
At least it paints skies blue

[mir]

wow.

that is truly beautiful.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

It was lovely, but this line "Made of magic they alone perceive" doesn't scan like all of the others. It's pentameter, whereas all the rest are mainly trimeter (with a few extras that you can get away with). Revise that and it'll be great.

[mir]

yeah, maybe if you take out the "made of" . . . i don't know, does that still keep the meaning you wanted? it sounds more regular.