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Dawn-bringer
03-17-2006, 11:20 AM
We Were Raised by Jean Paul Schembri:



We were raised in the vice of hypocrisy,

We were fed lies from the beginning of this life!

Learn the truth, want the truth and never let it be suppressed!

Reach out for the whips of domination!

Be conscious that we as humans want control!


We are not submissive by nature,

We are not anti-life by nature,

Thinking that is pure madness!



Search inside for the pride within!

Discard the ragged, torn robes of self pity!



Create your own world,

Stand proud even in times of utter hardship,

Let no man see you cry!



And if you ever truly fall,

Regain your composure,

Stand proudly, firmly and gallantly as never before!!

Fight for the truth and never let any man smother it!



Demand the best!

Never settle for anything but the best!

For you are worthy of the best!

Dawn-bringer
03-25-2006, 11:24 PM
Anybody would care to comment? I'm all ears. ;)

chmpman
03-26-2006, 05:26 AM
I have to say that your poetry seems a bit over-idealized. I have a hard time sensing reality behind your poems. To me, life is not so filled with zealous affirmations of experience, at least solely. But I tend to be a downer. Do you have any poetry that can be related to on a more pessimistic level?

My meaning here is not meant to be taken harshly, I only mean to say my personal impression of your poetry. I hope you only take it as something to think about (I bet you already have) and supply some reasoning behind it.

Dawn-bringer
03-26-2006, 01:41 PM
Ok, well, the poem is intended as a source of inspiration whenever you feel like giving up. It urges you to do your utmost whenever you feel like you are at your worst. I can see how it may be perceived as over idealistic but the reason behind it is to just you that extra push hard enough to take the figurative reigns of command again when you're helpless. It affirms that we as humans are pro life and would revel in this life if we would discard negative tendencies like the 'robes of self pity'.


I have to say that your poetry seems a bit over-idealized. I have a hard time sensing reality behind your poems. To me, life is not so filled with zealous affirmations of experience, at least solely. But I tend to be a downer. Do you have any poetry that can be related to on a more pessimistic level?

My meaning here is not meant to be taken harshly, I only mean to say my personal impression of your poetry. I hope you only take it as something to think about (I bet you already have) and supply some reasoning behind it.