adilyoussef
03-16-2006, 05:04 PM
Hi everyone!
Here is a poem I've written some weeks ago, and I'd like your feedback on it. Please be free to criticise it the way you see fit. It's through other people's judgement that we come to know ourselves better.
Thank you in advance.
Adil
Dreams
Time and again I've read stories and fairytales
Being told by people like you and me
Time and again I've seen movies and plays
Being acted to illustrate reality
Reality that is so different from what
We would like to live in and that
What makes life has a meaning
Through suffering in making a living
Here is a story of a girl like any other
Wanted to live and have a lover
Whom to love and to dear
To be together close and near
She imagined herself a princess
Famous as the loveliest actress
Loved by a prince of Gall
With whom dancing in a ball
From movie to movie she changed
Heroes and all she loved
Still not being loved herself
She created her world herself
A world of imagination and wonder
Where beauty lasts very longer
That time has no existence and nature
Only exists where one can venture
A world so beautiful that makes the soul
The only master and one dance like a fool
For only joy is there and no more
Pain and suffering have died of yore
But the world has no existence
Only in the mind of a young princess
Who in a jungle strolls unconscious
Of her beauty so precious
A place hunted by wolves and devil spirits
All waiting for a prey to kill it
Where beauty exists no longer
Only in the mind of those in hunger
In hunger for love and to be loved
Like the princess of whom I talked
Dreaming dreams never dreamt before
That found no way out of yore
Dreams guilty of being so and imprisoned
For life in a prison of thought
Judged of being cruel and of murder
Killing people living near and further
But all this she knew nothing of
She was only looking for love
In that prison of golden flowers
Unconscious of the enchanting powers
"Here is my hero" once she dreamed
No, it was no dream it was real and she feared
"Here is love I was looking for
And my dreams are dreams no more"
So happy she was that at the end
Her wishes came true and she found
Her hero that long dreamed of
And to find a way out for love
From prison love was free
To fly high and with her to flee
To a palace of roses and wonder
Where she is a queen with a king as a monster
This she knew nothing of
She was blinded by love
That her beloved was but a wolf
In the jungle in the real world
Like a prey she was dragged
To her trap and was devoured
By a beast that his fangs
In her body deeply sunk
There she was thrown in the jungle
Deprived from her dreams and couldn't handle
What happened to her alone
But no one was there and she was alone
Standing in a court defending her cause
That surely she is to lose
And all the juries stand to deliver
Their final verdict and to kill the prisoner
In the middle of March from his jail he was taken
And with shame she bode him goodbye
That he was once imprisoned for life
In her golden prison for life
Her world of imagination died forever
And was buried in her memories and never
Will find the way out as she thought
In the jungle where she fought
Time and again I've read stories and fairytales
Being told by people like you and me
Time and again I've seen movies and plays
Being acted to illustrate reality
Reality so cruel and so unjust
Where dreams have no existence and never last
Even in my thoughts and are buried
In my memories after being hunted away
Here is a poem I've written some weeks ago, and I'd like your feedback on it. Please be free to criticise it the way you see fit. It's through other people's judgement that we come to know ourselves better.
Thank you in advance.
Adil
Dreams
Time and again I've read stories and fairytales
Being told by people like you and me
Time and again I've seen movies and plays
Being acted to illustrate reality
Reality that is so different from what
We would like to live in and that
What makes life has a meaning
Through suffering in making a living
Here is a story of a girl like any other
Wanted to live and have a lover
Whom to love and to dear
To be together close and near
She imagined herself a princess
Famous as the loveliest actress
Loved by a prince of Gall
With whom dancing in a ball
From movie to movie she changed
Heroes and all she loved
Still not being loved herself
She created her world herself
A world of imagination and wonder
Where beauty lasts very longer
That time has no existence and nature
Only exists where one can venture
A world so beautiful that makes the soul
The only master and one dance like a fool
For only joy is there and no more
Pain and suffering have died of yore
But the world has no existence
Only in the mind of a young princess
Who in a jungle strolls unconscious
Of her beauty so precious
A place hunted by wolves and devil spirits
All waiting for a prey to kill it
Where beauty exists no longer
Only in the mind of those in hunger
In hunger for love and to be loved
Like the princess of whom I talked
Dreaming dreams never dreamt before
That found no way out of yore
Dreams guilty of being so and imprisoned
For life in a prison of thought
Judged of being cruel and of murder
Killing people living near and further
But all this she knew nothing of
She was only looking for love
In that prison of golden flowers
Unconscious of the enchanting powers
"Here is my hero" once she dreamed
No, it was no dream it was real and she feared
"Here is love I was looking for
And my dreams are dreams no more"
So happy she was that at the end
Her wishes came true and she found
Her hero that long dreamed of
And to find a way out for love
From prison love was free
To fly high and with her to flee
To a palace of roses and wonder
Where she is a queen with a king as a monster
This she knew nothing of
She was blinded by love
That her beloved was but a wolf
In the jungle in the real world
Like a prey she was dragged
To her trap and was devoured
By a beast that his fangs
In her body deeply sunk
There she was thrown in the jungle
Deprived from her dreams and couldn't handle
What happened to her alone
But no one was there and she was alone
Standing in a court defending her cause
That surely she is to lose
And all the juries stand to deliver
Their final verdict and to kill the prisoner
In the middle of March from his jail he was taken
And with shame she bode him goodbye
That he was once imprisoned for life
In her golden prison for life
Her world of imagination died forever
And was buried in her memories and never
Will find the way out as she thought
In the jungle where she fought
Time and again I've read stories and fairytales
Being told by people like you and me
Time and again I've seen movies and plays
Being acted to illustrate reality
Reality so cruel and so unjust
Where dreams have no existence and never last
Even in my thoughts and are buried
In my memories after being hunted away