Whacky Packages

[Pendragon]

This runs just like the famous stickers. Take a product, and change the name of it to something completely off-the-wall, and write a short comerical for it. Thus:

Are you tired of your old life? Are you feed up with the daily rat race? Is the old 9 to 5 getting you down? Then try Phillips Milk of Amnesia! Yes, one dose of this wonderful product and your past troubles will just "poof", dissappear! Because with Phillips Milk of Amnesia!, you will no longer have a past! Phillips Milk of Amnesia! Makes you forget who you are!

[Pendragon]

Kids, did your last math test catch you totally unprepared? Did you forget to write that five page essay due today in History? Don't panic! Try Pepto-Abysmal! Yes, with one dose of this product, you don't have to pretend you're too sick to go to school! You may require hospitalization! Pepto-Abysmal! Banned by the A.M.A. There are warning notes from three world-renouned Pediatricians in every box, which you can use for excuse purposes. Pepto-Abysmal! For those day when being too sick for school is your only option. Void where prohibited.

[Stanislaw]

Kids, did your last math test catch you totally unprepared? Did you forget to write that five page essay due today in History? Don't panic! Try Pepto-Abysmal! Yes, with one dose of this product, you don't have to pretend you're too sick to go to school! You may require hospitalization! Pepto-Abysmal! Banned by the A.M.A. There are warning notes from three world-renouned Pediatricians in every box, which you can use for excuse purposes. Pepto-Abysmal! For those day when being too sick for school is your only option. Void where prohibited.
:D sounds like some of the "miracle" drugs that are seen on tv...its a miracle athat people buy them. :D

[Mililalil XXIV]

Bear Aspirins! When migranes hold you in their bear hug, don't simply bear up - take one!

[RobinHood3000]

Gei-Bo--car insurance meets aerobics program! Stretch while you steer, punch while you pedal, and kick out your legs while you kick off this mortal coil!

[Pendragon]

Try our old-fashioned LOX soap, for a cleaner, much-eaiser-to-smell-coming you! Active ingredients: Miscellanious fish parts (boiled to a jelly), bagel bits (for scrubbing power), seaweed (a fixitive), and aromatic salts (from the Dead Sea)

[RobinHood3000]

Dud-Wiser--all the taste, twice the alcohol = half the brain cells!!!

[Mililalil XXIV]

Low on power? Try Inner-Kaiser Batteries!

[Pendragon]

Housewifes or househusbands, to be politically correct, tired of your significant other never noticing how hard you work cleaning? Use Mr. Sheen for a cleaning power that will blind them, sometimes literally! (Manufacturers not responsible for any loss of vision. Wear protective equipment while using this product.)

[Mililalil XXIV]

Hershey's Texas:
we just put chocolate on the map.

[Pendragon]

Hershey's Texas:
we just put chocolate on the map.
Good one! :lol: But Hershey is ALREADY on the map. Hearshey, PA, chocolate capital of the world! Just above Washington, DC.

Try our new Irish Cling soap! The shamrocks will stick to you on St. Patrick's Day! (Disclaimer--also attracts grass clippings or anything else green. Our company denies all responsibility for any missed work, rashes, doctor bills, etc.)

[Mililalil XXIV]

Ever been asked if Uncle Ben is married to Aunt Jemima? A North American native girl once asked this.

[RobinHood3000]

Probably, but I imagine he runs around with Mrs. Butterworth.

[Pendragon]

Speaking of Uncle Ben, try Uncle Ben's Converted Rice! The part of the meal with a halo around it! :angel: :rolleyes:

[Mililalil XXIV]

Pen's Oil - the best motor oil ever extracted from the depths of the earth. The cutting-edge that prevents your transmission from drag'n and makes all other brands look like dinosaurs in the modern world. Don't fossilize with the sludge products - pend draggin' and pass the prehistoric traffic graveyards!

[Pendragon]

Pen's Oil - the best motor oil ever extracted from the depths of the earth. The cutting-edge that prevents your transmission from drag'n and makes all other brands look like dinosaurs in the modern world. Don't fossilize with the sludge products - pend draggin' and pass the prehistoric traffic graveyards!

I trust you know you just made my day, Mililalil XXIV! :lol: :nod:

[Mililalil XXIV]

Not up to eating when you're not feeling well? Stock up now on Chef-Boy-Codeine! Child-proof can requires a can opener! Try our newly developed non-drowsy formula, or go to bed well-fed.

[RobinHood3000]

New TV series! Mighty Morphine Power Rangers!!! Child too active? Bump their head on the end table doing martial arts in the living room? Plop him down in front of the boob tube and watch their pain disappear!

[Pendragon]

For a taste that can't be beat try Hun's Ketchup, the rich red sauce that's bloody good! Endorsed by Vampires International.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Liposimes Chicken Noodle Soup!

Utilizes a liposimes transport system to deliver potent ingredients where they are sure to find appreciation for operation nutro-drop - without i.v. or operation.

[Pendragon]

And try the above product with Blitz Crackers, the one snack food that is fully guarenteed to keep you with, ahem, on the runs! You'll be amazed at the results! Disclaimer: Drink plenty of fluids to avoid dehydration.

[Nightshade]

Housewifes or househusbands, to be politically correct, tired of your significant other never noticing how hard you work cleaning? Use Mr. Sheen for a cleaning power that will blind them, sometimes literally! (Manufacturers not responsible for any loss of vision. Wear protective equipment while using this product.)

Are you making these up?
if so Mr sheen exsists Im afraid . :D :brow:

EDIT ne'r mind I think I get it now :blush:

[Mililalil XXIV]

Nightshade, you've got a lot of posts - I guess that one above just boosted the number!

[Pendragon]

Are you making these up?
if so Mr sheen exsists Im afraid . :D :brow:

EDIT ne'r mind I think I get it now :blush:It does? I was spoofing Mr. Clean! Ah, well.

Gentlemen, to attract a lady use Old Vice aftershave and cologne. Of course we have no guarantee as to the type or class of the lady you attract, or even the species! But, hey, you're the one desperate for a date, right? Try our product.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Guess what this is spoofing!

Try Old Species and attract the woman of former times. Why smell like modern times? Use it and use it again, and put on that ole' time charm that worked for men of a forgotten generation!

[Pendragon]

For that real back-to-nature scent try Muskox Colonge. Our company is not responsible for any injuries caused by attacks by any females of the cerevine species, or indeed, any cloven hooved mammals.

[Mililalil XXIV]

Don't lose that special moment on the run from a bear. Get it on film! Kodiak Film!