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Aolist
03-05-2006, 09:50 PM
Have you ever felt it?
Perhaps during a time of emotional turbulence.
Or maybe when you didn't feel anything at all.
Or when you were walking along...
It hits you. The urge. It swims about your mind, and the distinct feeling of inspiration begins to pull at your thoughts. Soon it crushes the senses in an onslaught of waves and it surges through your entire body, to your very soul.
With this fervent ardor you sit down with pen in hand and your thoughts rush out in arbitrary black squibbles. You write and write until the joints of your forefinger and thumb ache with pain, and this pain starts to spread to the rest of your hand but you continue to write, numb to the physical world. The hours tick by, but of course you don't realize it; you are drowned in this need to write.
You are finished your masterpiece. You raise your head, the unfamiliar surroundings coming into focus. You take a breath of air and release a weighty sigh of relief, as if you've just struggled ashore from the grasps of the ocean.
You look over your writing with pride and curiosity. You read it over and admire how you worded that sentence and you correct a few errors but overall you are more than satisfied with the piece. You tuck the piece of your mind into a folder, or perhaps you wrote it in a diary.
You reflect on the message you had. You like that message. It is your message. And in the darker crevices of your mind you wonder if your message resonates with another like-minded individual out there. You think of all your friends and your mentors and your relatives and feel that no one would truly appreciate your writing on the level you intended it to be. Or perhaps they would misread it or analyze the grammar. Ultimately you feel that your writing is exiled to your journal until some archaeologist unearths it millennia later and in a fit of inspiration upon reading the entry writes his own masterpiece.
And then you feel the definitive sense of futility in writing without an audience. After all, writings are intended to be read. Without readers, what are writers?

And so you come here.

Here, on this forum, there are readers. And in this subforum, those readers are also writers, who post their writings to readers in the mass. Here, obscure trinkets of esoteric minds—formerly kept in the dark recesses of buried computer files, or in buried paper files, without the proper audience—come to light online, where the audience of anonymous thousands lies at the mere click of a mouse.

All that said, I’d like to offer a brief synopsis of what I envision this thread to be.
I’d like this thread to be a collection of writings (of any kind, e.g. essays, short stories, journal/diary entries, poems etc.) that were written with passion or in the rapture of inspiration. Writings that you just wrote because you felt you HAD to; it was a necessity. Perhaps you just had an experience with death of an ant (or an aunt) and you wrote a musing on life. Post it. And we’ll read it and discuss.
That’s where everything comes together: discussion. You see, I recently realized that there is a certain futility in doing things alone. It’s when people come together that life really begins. Discussion is going to be the life of this thread. Without discussion, this thread will fade away. Even if just one person submits a work, we could discuss it for years. But if a thousand people submit and no one discusses, then you might as well not post and put that work back into is folder.

At this point, go ahead and post thoughts about the thread idea or works of your own, and you can read mine afterwards, if you’d like.

Aolist
03-05-2006, 10:01 PM
I guess you could say this work inspired me to start this thread.
Oh, and I don’t swear that much, so be sure to understand how upset I really was.


****n’ A man.
I was walking to the back door to go inside. The sun’s rays yielded little heat upon my wind-blown face when I saw this black splotch of a figure on the grass next to the driveway. I realize that this black blob is actually a cat that’s lying down.

a cat ... lying ... out in the open ... I’ve never seen that before ...
ah sh**
I hope it’s not dead

I approach the cat and it lifts it head to the sound of my feet.

o cool, it’s alive. Guess it was just resting out in the sun.

Curious to see if there really is a cat simply lying about in the open, I walk up to the cat and it rises on its fore-legs.

ah sh**.

There’s a serious wound on it’s back and there is what appears to be blood oozing out of the wound. It begins to cry. I echo its cry in sympathy.

I call my parents and run to my grandparents to ask them what to do and ultimately no one wanted me to do anything but just let it lie there.

Bullsh**.

I go back to the cat and sit with it for a while. We cry.

it’s shivering! it’s eyes are about to close! hey man, hang in there, you’re going to be alright! everybody makes choices; this is life and death; you’re going to choose life. you’re a trooper.

I leave the cat.
I go inside where we keep the three domestic cats, all of which would have had to live in the wild, but we took them in. I look at them and they look at me like they do.

Pet me! Pet me! you aren’t going to pet me are you?

A slight, paper-thin rage slips into my mind.

you F******! all you do is sit around all day and do nothing. you don’t have to worry about surviving! we just give you your food every day and you eat it and sleep and lie in the warmth of this house! F******! there are cats our there fighting for their lives every day and you don’t even have the capacity to realize what a frikin great life you have. F******.

I got angry.

I remembered an episode a few months ago with my dad.

“Look at’em dad. They don’t have to worry about anything. They don’t have to do anything. They eat sleep and eat and poop. [I think about how nice it would be to be a cat because I am relatively stressed... or perhaps apathetic... to life and feel that people keep on wanting my time and I just want to, well, sleep all day. Like the cats.]”

“Yeah, but it seems like a pretty futile existence though.”

“Yeah I guess so. [still thinking that it might be worth it.]”


And after seeing that cat outside and these cats inside....

F***n’ A man!

I don’t even know.
f*** dude, i don’t even know
that’s just messed up

I sigh.
I can either play xbox

or

Write.

I remember
“In the end, all you have left is the work.”

What does that mean? what work?
... ... ...
oh, the Work

xbox
Write

I remember
“it seems like a pretty futile existence though”

So I wrote.
I had something to say and I wrote.