Going Under The Covers

[jon1jt]

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo

[genoveva]

This poem has great rhythm and I really enjoyed reading it! I am a little confused about the ending- Are you suggesting that the street light has been covered the whole time humming and it's a shame. You'd rather the light not be covered to illuminate the love making? It's sad that things have to be "covered"? If you wanted to revise, you might want to reconsider a few lines that seemed to jump out of the natural rhythm, for me, as I read the poem:

"I doubt it"
"Are you vexed, yet?" ( a little)
"I know what you're thinking"
"Don't worry, she told me so"

Nice poem!

[jon1jt]

Thanks!! You got the ending, most of it. You're right on the double meaning of the light--- referring to the light denied the love making and the second layer, the glass cover, and it's just darn sad things have to be covered. But there's also an innuendo there that I can't elaborate on because it would just be deleted. I also added your "a little" rather than delete the line altogether, all in the name of creativity! I agree it throws off the beat and the last five lines are out of sync too---ouch! :-)

[genoveva]

But there's also an innuendo there that I can't elaborate on because it would just be deleted. I also added your "a little" rather than delete the line altogether

Ha, ha! I think I know what you mean... :lol:

As far as the "a little" whoops- I meant that that line stuck out a little to me....

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Nice poem jon - as always - nice almost/mostly rhyming style and great rhythm.

Can I point out a spelling mistake? Parcaid - I assume you mean parquet or parqueted (pronounced parcaid) floor?

[jon1jt]

I have to admit X that I didn't know how to spell it but had initially taken to look it up in a dictionary, but still couldn't find it! Oh my! I'll change that now, thanks a bunch! I still think your "Greece" poem is the best I've seen in here---it transports me to the age of Socrates - that so-called "Golden Age" if there ever was one---and who can't appreciate that?!

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Aw shucks - now you got me all embarrassed. :blush:

It was actually a lot of different memories of modern Greece stuck together - I worked out there for 5 years or so - not really anything to do with Socrates - I'm not quite old enough to have met him! Still, I'm glad you liked it. Thanks.

(And the age wasn't that 'golden' - they poisoned the old guy, remember - he probably mentioned current politics in the forum!)

[jon1jt]

:D
Aw shucks - now you got me all embarrassed. :blush:

It was actually a lot of different memories of modern Greece stuck together - I worked out there for 5 years or so - not really anything to do with Socrates - I'm not quite old enough to have met him! Still, I'm glad you liked it. Thanks.

(And the age wasn't that 'golden' - they poisoned the old guy, remember - he probably mentioned current politics in the forum!)

Good point about the not-so-golden years, Socrates, poor guy! It was more like, post-Golden! If I had been Socrates you know, I would have gotten the hell out of that jail when I had the chance! ("The law, the law," what has the law ever done for me?!) By the way, the ancients dwell in your Greece poem. Read it after having a few glasses of red wine like I did, then tell me you don't see ol' Socrates! :D

I speak to Socates all the time...thing is, he never answers me. :D

[sdr4jc]

Jon I must say that I enjoyed this poem!

[jon1jt]

You compliment me and you love cats! :-)