trapped

[amuse]

why couldn't i
have traveled
before i
...destroyed
...us

at the one
port of call of
any interest
the lights beamed
so hotly that
i wondered had
i'd crossed over
(except that i was
naked and cold)
they wouldn't have
sent me to hell
without an escort
would they?
someone to lead
the way, or at least
point out
the proper door through
which to exit.

but no, the
smocking figures
in white
recaptured me
with homeostasis
regained
they thought
out-thwarting
my bandits
a triumph -
except that
as you were growing
i was dying

now this garden
we planted
looks like a mine field
instead of green shoots
mini coffins
lie composting
the land
blood waters
the soil
i have nowhere
to stand or sit
or ease my head

and there's nowhere
else to go

i would turn
if i could
my body inside out
strew it on this
field, add my debris to
yours

your former abode
has become my
prison
my very self
my own executioner

this demon must,
i think,
be in heaven:
though i removed
this heavy sheath
i would remain

and this vile thing i
have become
is too terrible
to live or die with.


* pause: have latin class, have to look at later, today or monday