Complete The Thought

[samercury]

...asked me if I had seen his reindeer anywhere nearby. Since he looked nothing (at all) like Santa and I had just watched TNBC, I assumed that...

[Aunty-lion]

he was simply a lunatic. After all, what would a reindeer be doing in this part of the world? However, I did notice that he was holding a sheet of music in his right hand, so I thought perhaps he might be able to assist me in my search for the mysterios forest music I had been seeking. I asked him about the music, and he took my hand and led me to a.....

[kiz_paws]

little phone booth where upon entering, one would be transported back into time. He thrust me in there, slammed the squeaky door shut, and I heard a deafening roar, the lights spun round and round, and with a might crash ....

[Aunty-lion]

I realised I was witnessing the Bonfire of the Vanities in Florence, Italy (evidently the booth also possessed the powers of relocation). Distressed by the masses of art and literature being thrown on the fire, I ran to retrieve whatever I could. I reached my hand into the fire and pulled out...

[AdoreroDio]

a burning sculpture of an ugly man- throwing it back in I reached back in, hoping to pull out....

[kiz_paws]

a charred but otherwise untouched Adoration of the Magi, which contained a portrait of the actual artist, Gozzoli. Pretty much the pile of art remaining was sending flames snapping and cracking ten feet into the air. With a mighty heave, me and said painting flung back into the safety of the magic telephone booth, where waiting was.....

[Reccura]

was a big bogey man, who totally sloped himself and pounced himself to...

[ElissaDido]

the streets where he was run over mercilessly by a speeding van. The driver stopped the car and wondered what he just ran over but thought better of it and drove off when a giant vortex appeared in the sky and...

[kiz_paws]

sucked me and said painting back to the middle of the forest, where the blind wolves were dancing the tango and the sun was shining brilliantly. What was uncanny, however, was the way in which one of the wolves ....

[kathycf]

was wearing a three piece suit, with a dapper hat. The reason I think it caught my eye was the fact that...

[andave_ya]

all of the other wolves were wearing hula skirts and dancing on the beach at Waikiki, which, oddly, enough.....

[samercury]

...made so much more sense after the thoughts that were swirling through my head at the time. I mean, why was there a bunch of monkey balloons hanging from that tree? It really was...

[Bakiryu]

crazy the way all those flying shrimp and hoola--hooping monkeys seemed to be friends witht the mad scientist and his werewolf daughter....

[samercury]

... who just 'happened' to be around just as we were about to cut the red cake. How did it get there anyways? Oh well, as the parrot would say...

[andave_ya]

"mind the boat!" How a boat came on the scene I'm not entirely sure but I think it had something to do with that....

[samercury]

...locust who came by a little earlier in the search of a new tree. All of a sudden...

[Bakiryu]

the singing chikens brought in their new leader who danced to 'Thriller' and turned out to be.......

[kiz_paws]

all part of a dream, as I discovered. The sun was gleaming through the windows, which was very odd, considering that thunder could be heard rolling in the distance. I reached to open the window, to drink in the morning's fresh air when......

[Onzalvin]

A michievous looking person pulled out an electronic sort of device, which turned out to be a particle accelerator - gee, he must have been working out- with which he let two atoms collide with enough speed so they created a black hole, and he fed it particles to stabilize it...

[kiz_paws]

when all of a sudden, a hungry crow pecked at the mischief maker's arm, as it smelled of yesterday's hobo feast. The particle accelerator fell, down down down, to the cobblestone path and there it lay in a million pieces. The crow's clear yellow eye twitched with glee and with an anguished cry, the .....

[Aunty-lion]

black hole started to close, but I saw my chance and leapt into the quickly decreasing hole, I felt myself starting to turn and turn, spinning like a top, i closed my eyes tightly and...

[snow9999]

and i dreamt i was at home, which makes.......

[kiz_paws]

me very unnerved, for the crow had followed Aunty through the black hole and into the dream! This large sleek crow with the piercing yellow eyes was angry at having been torn from his little familiar wood and all that he controlled. Why, if it wasn't for that blasted little.....

[littlewing53]

bee buzzing around his head none of this would have happened. that bee chose to sting, he was stung and because he was allergic he went into a sort of strange shock that made his eyes heavy with sleep....

[kiz_paws]

but as luck would have it, the tooth fairy showed up and with a swishshshsh of her magic wand, the crow's eyes blazed open, blinked rapidly and then his mighty wings lifted him up, up, up, into the skies where he could look below and determine the next plan...

[Aunty-lion]

Which was to swoop down and pick me up in his beak, however, when he reached me he realised that I was rather a lot bigger than I hed seemed from all the way up in the sky, so he...

[Bebbin]

made a quick turn to the left and crashed into a rough, foreign creature that...

[andave_ya]

reminded me of the gump in one of the Wizard of Oz books. The creature looked like.....

[_JadeRain_]

a fifty foot tall lizard, and then it...

[Redzeppelin]

burst into a few choruses of "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees before turning quickly and...

[kiz_paws]

showing me how deft he was in the hula dance. In the midst of a very shrill tenor rendition of said musical piece, and whilst the crow was trying to shake some sense into his badly knocked brain, I made a run for the hill. There was a small hidey-hole near the middle of the hill, and with a sproing, I found myself on all fours with a bramble stuck in my neck. Suddenly, a low, menacing growl ventured from the dark corner of the hiding spot...

[andave_ya]

and I turned in order to skedaddle. But when I turned, I no longer saw the crow or heard the hula music. In fact, I saw.....

[kiz_paws]

the pack of wild blind wolves! The trickle of sunlight that ventured into the hole showed unmistakably the bloodthirsty fangs of said beasts. I turned on my heel, but much to my despair, the bramble ....

[_JadeRain_]

Sprouted blossums containg tiny winged creatures, but these were not friendly faries...

[ktd222]

...but sock bandits in hiding from the department clerks of Bloo...

[kiz_paws]

The sock bandits created a diversion as they attempted to pluck my socks right from under my feet, as it were. The wolves snarled menacingly, but kept their distance, as though these thieves of woolen snugglies would attempt anything as daft as stealing the socks from beasts such as they. In the mad melee of sock stealing bandits swooping and screeching, I bolted out of the cavern of terrors and.......

[_JadeRain_]

Suddenly I found myself falling down a rabbit hole, but not just any ordinary rabbit hole. I realized this when I saw myself standing next to the famous Alice...

[kiz_paws]

who was no more than three inches tall, having taken one of the notorious wafers...

[andave_ya]

filled with shrinking cream. You see, she thought that shrinking cream would only....

[RJbibliophil]

...change her appearance, but it really altered her distinguishable phenotypes, rendering her shape and features quite unnatural and strange. When I kindly pointed this out to her...

[andave_ya]

she nodded thoughtfully and said....

[RJbibliophil]

"it is a small price to pay for the privilige of changing size." Alice...

[kiz_paws]

in her ever-thirsty quest for knowledge and adventure, noted a distinquished hare, complete with glasses and watch fob, fidgeting and fussing about the time. In her usual helpful manner she ....

[_JadeRain_]

inquired wondering what has gotten this hare so highstrung, his reply was shocking...

[kiz_paws]

apparently, while practicing the violin in his usual dedicated manner, a certain soldier eyed the manner in which he held his bow, and declared that ....

[_JadeRain_]

if the hare were a truly great musician, then hw would beable to play third postion as well as he can play the first position. However, seeing as he had furry paws and no fingers at all...

[Haven]

...it was a miracle that he could play the violin at all. Throughly incensed the hare [who bore a striking resemblance to a white rabbit] smashed the violin across the soldiers shins, thus temporarily disabling him and high-tailed it down the rabbit hole. His meeting with Alice was already putting a serious dent into his already crowded schedule and he said, 'Sorry, but...

[_JadeRain_]

"I really must be going miss, as it is nearing the Jabberwock's lunch time and it is heading this way'...

[kiz_paws]

Suddenly, from the top of the hole, way way way up, the angry soldier had limped his way and was throwing stones down at the jabbering hare. His eyes bulged in fear on two accounts, the flinging objects, and the ever malicious Jabberwock!! But before anyone could react, a thunderous chorus of "I'm A LumberJack and I'm OK" could be heard in the distance, and .........

[RJbibliophil]

...the ringing of bells from the church steeple. The people tried to rid themselves of the evil beasts. The beasts...

[Haven]

...the beasts, as Alice explained could easily be contained, one tiny nibble of this delicious cake and the Jabberwock and any other snackish/evil beasts would be reduced to Alice's current height... Not tall or scarey and probably very easy to squish with a well placed rabbit [hare] paw. A muscial interlude follows to allow for others in the audience who are also feeling snackish or in need of other societal comforts to fulfill these requirements.


One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she's ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits
And you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar
Has given you the call
Call Alice
When she was just small

When men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving low
Go ask Alice
I think she'll know

When logic and proportion
Have fallen sloppy dead
And the White Knight is talking backwards
And the Red Queen's "off with her head!"
Remember what the dormouse said:
"Feed your head
Feed your head
Feed your head"

Courtesy of Jefferson Airplane

[kiz_paws]

Ahhh, delightful, simply delightful, my dear Haven... merçi beaucoup for the musical interlude. ;)

Now, Alice had a small cake of the substance that would reduce the beasts to a size that could be contained easily without bloodshed, in a cage such as that for a canary. However, what Alice did not know was that .....

[_JadeRain_]

one of these beasts was an expert lock picker and the other an amateur stand up comedian which as we all know is a dismal combination...

[Haven]

Alice looked over her shoulder to where until a moment ago the anxious hare had been standing. She caught a brief glimpse of his bob-tail disappearing at speed through the labyrinthian rabbit warren. "Drat it all" she said. With the evil nasties advancing on her and the 'comedian's' repetoire giving her serious earache, she grasped the leg of the coffee table and started to climb, because up on the table top, there was another cake...

[kiz_paws]

but as her wee hands fumbled and slid up the table leg, there was a thunderous crash. Alice realized that the soldier (complete with limp) had crashed down the hole and had landed on top of the very table that beheld her liberty. The cake went flying asunder, and one of the Jabberwock's jumped in an amazing triple somersault which astounded all in view, and grabbed the flying cake. In a twinkling of an eye .....

[kathycf]

Alice landed an even more amazing quadruple somersault and snatched the cake for herself. "I am all for sharing" she said, "But I hope you will pardon me for just a moment while I..."

[_JadeRain_]

...daintily devour this delicious delicacy". Upon placing the morsel on her tongue she grew to the size of a full grown Jub Jub Bird. "How very curious" she said...

[ktd222]

" how very very curious." Then she turned in the general direction of her husband and cockadoodledooed. Her husband obviously...

[symphony]

...mistook it for a bird and shot it immediately. Then he called his cook who had customary skills in making roasts disappear....

[Haven]

The hallucinatory effects of these cakes were truely unusual. Alice watched the scene: she was the Jub Jub bird being shot by her illusionary husband. She reached out with her finger and poked right through her 'husband' and his 'cook'. This was turning out to be an extraordinary day.. but puhleese, 19th century England and married at the tender age of 8, well she didn't think so. She caught sight of herself in a 'looking glass' and there she was 4 foot and 4 inches wearing her usual pinafore dress and her hair held in place with an 'alice band'. The Jabberwock, was happily devouring the unconscious soldier and Alice left it to its repast. The looking glass seemed to draw her towards it...

[kathycf]

as looking glasses were often prone to doing in Alice's world. Let's face it, what was Alice "on" when she went "through" the looking glass? Doesn't that seem like a hallucination? Had Alice been reading Hunter S. Thompson?

Tender age of eight or not....something was rotten in the state of Alice. I would have said Denmark....but I am pretty sure Alice was English...at any rate the Jabberwock turned to Alice and said....

[Haven]

"Hey, babe take a walk on the wildside?"
Alice said to the Jabberwock, stop trying to mess with my head you hallucination!! Lou Reed hasn't been born yet!

Hmm, that looking glass was doing little swirly things. Curiouser and curiouser (sure Lewis Carrol used that word...). Alice lent forward and stuck her finger through the surface of the mirror. Ooh, she said...

[kathycf]

"oooh, look I can see all the colors of the rainbow...taste the rainbow, Jabberwock!" The Jabberwock turned to Alice and gently reminded her that Skittles candy hadn't been invented yet. Alice muttered something under her breath about hallucinations and stupidheads, then resolutely stuck her finger through the surface of the mirror again. "Ouch! Do you mind?" the mirror peevishly snapped. "I beg your pardon!" Alice replied and then she....

[_JadeRain_]

She took out her staff weapon she stole form Jaffa warrior and shot a laser at the mirror smashing it into a million peices, but the broken shards suddenly...

[kiz_paws]

began humming a very strange melody.... it sounded like the laud for a princess, or some such thing. The humming got louder and louder, and Alice held her ears against the strange and alien sounds. She tried to run, however, it was her fate that .....

[andave_ya]

if she tried to run, she'd end up going so slow that she'd eventually stop. Terrified, she didn't think to.....

[the silent x]

to walk as slow as she could backwards and in the process, move forward with all the speed of a thousand peregrin falcons diving out of the daylit sky...

[kiz_paws]

Alice could not control the swiftness of foot in this strange backwards-forwards movement, and plunged right into a long long table, set up for quite a few guests. At the head of the table was a very unusual little .....

[Haven]

...she squinted, trying to clear her vision. This forward-backward movement was making her feel a little queasy. Then she realised it was all back to front! The mirror had reconstructed itself. This was not reality it was reflection! The little thing at the end of the table was being telescopicaly miniaturised. Like looking down the wrong end of a telescope. This was excellent news... or no, was this 'little thing' then huge?

[kathycf]

"blurggg" Alice thought. Huge was in fact, an understatement to describe the behemoth at the end of the table. Alice wondered just what she was going to do, and then she remembered a song by a band whose members hadn't been born yet....so she rooted around in her pinafore pocket for that one "get larger" pill she knew she had left.

[SeleneMB]

And slowly she saw herself getting larger, her fingers one by one became twice their regular size, then three times then four times and and as the rest of her body started to fall in line with her hands she remembered her dress, if her mother found one of her dresses ripped again, she would be 50 before she was allowed to leave her room again.
Quickly she started to remove her dress, socks, shoes just in time. Underwear was the last, but by then it was too late, she was ten times her regular size and the underwear ripped at the seams, it sort of exploded really, she looked down and though. "oh well"

[andave_ya]

Everyone else politely looked away as Alice suddenly realized.....

[SeleneMB]

that she had become a 20 foot naked giant. Nevertheless there was work to be done, and the sooner the better.

She picked up her discarded garments with her finger tips and put them up on a safe place.

[andave_ya]

But she was in between a rock and a hard place. She couldn't let people look at her but what could she do? Thinking quickly, she....

[SeleneMB]

Removed the table cloth from the already messy table, creating a wet icky mess on the floor, the cloth was barely enough to cover the essentials, but it would have to do.

She looked around for a way to to move out of this strange turn of events.

[Haven]

...she stood there; a 20 foot naked giantess. Thinking quickly had never gotten anyone dressed. But height has its advantages and Alice never one to miss an opportunity tried out her newly elongated vocal chords. Impressive, a little gravelly even... Inhaling to the full extent of her, let's face it, enormous lungs, Alice let rip!...

[SeleneMB]

A bloody scream. Followed by a less ripping "Listen" , she would have said, shut up, but mom told her that was not a polite way to get anyone attention.

Everybody stopped, and looked at her expectantly, they all fell small and insignificant, but strangely unafraid.

She looked down at everybody and started to laugh at the silliness of the situation.

"listen everyone, we have to leave now!!!"
"Why?" said the Queen of Hearts,"

[Haven]

"y'know, you're right" said Alice. "Enjoy your meal, and I wish you all a very good evening, especially to your majesty who shall hence forth be refered to as the Queen of Hearts and also my very best wishes to your distinguished guests. Oh, I see the Jabberwock made it, he's stuffed already, so just give him a starter."
Alice swished the goo covered table-cloth around her, did a little curtsey as per instructions of the Red Queen who had put her straight on the time/continum theorum.
Alice was tired of being 20 foot tall, she was after all only 8 years old and should be 4' 4" tall. Where was it? She slipped the tiny blue pill down her enourmous throat and blinked. Yes, that's better she thought. She found her clothes and wiping the gooey mess of the tablecover away dressed herself. Right in front of her the looking glass was doing the little swirly things again. Rather than poke her finger into the mirror, this time she said, "hello mirror". "Hello, yourself" said the looking glass [cooley]. "May I step through you?" said Alice, "Feel free". said the looking glass. And so Alice did just that... the world on the 'other side'...

[kathycf]

seemed rather dull and drab in comparision. "What to do now, I wonder" said Alice to herself. "Who are you talking to" a small voice replied. Alice looked around, a bit timidly truth be known. Can we blame her? She had been through quite a lot, don't you think?

She wondered who the small voice belonged to and suddenly it was revealed to her that...

[Haven]

...the little voice was from Cerberus I. One of the heads of the three-headed dog was whispering, so as not to wake the other two. "Can I be of help?" Cerberus I inquired. "Well", said Alice, "I am a bit lost"... Cerberus I moved his large fluffy head closer to Alice. Could you tickle my ears please, he asked, in a most appealing manner? Of course said Alice, where would be best? He inclined his head forward, and Alice being a delightful girl gave Cerberus I's ears a very good tickle. Once pleasantaries had been completed, Alice asked the important question. "Cerberus I, what is this place. Where am I?" Cerberus I looked at her, sucked in a double-nostril full of breath and said, "Well, little lady, you are in Hades". "Aahaa" said Alice... as she dipped her toes into the river Styxx...

[kathycf]

"Don't do that!" the first head yelped, and the noise awoke the remaining heads from their slumber. They yawned, while Cerberus I explained that some Charon guy would be coming along, and he was known to be kind of a nasty person. The other two heads of Cerberus continued to yawn, and truth be known....they had doggy breath. Alice felt even more confused and wondered what would happen now....

[Haven]

"Don't do what?" Alice asked mildly...

[kathycf]

"Didn't I just explain to you why you shouldn't dip your toes in the River Styx...Don't you pay attention"? "Well, you are a three headed dog" Alice remarked. "Is there any real reason why I should pay attention? Doesn't having three heads mean you can repeat the same boring junk three times as fast?"

Cerberus just sat there and wagged his tail gently, while wondering if it would be wrong to nibble on 4 foot 4 pinafore wearing young ladies.....

[SeleneMB]

But he dared not, least he be scolded by his master. Instead, he decided to be polite to the little girl.

- Dipping your toes on the pool will make the water changes color
-Change colors? -repeated Alice with skepticism. - Regardless what difference would that make.
-The water changes color according how threatening the creature that dips their toes into the water is to this world.
-If the water turns a slightly darker blue, then you pose no more threat than a mosquito. If the water turns red than you threaten the existence of every living creature on this land.
Alice looked at the water and smiled, how much treat can a 4 foot little girl cause in a confused world like this.?
She closed her eyes and dipped her toes, and almost instantly she heard the three headed dog gasp in horror.

The water had turned a bright purple......

She looked in to six terrified eyes and asked

-What does purple mean??????

[Haven]

"Purple...!!!" Cerberus, I, II & III chorused. "Open your mouth", Cerberus I commanded Alice. Alice complied. Cerberus I looked around at II & III. "No coin...". "Can't be" chorused II & III. "'Fraid so, she's not dead. Charon will have to take her back". Alice looked at the three-headed dog and said "Take, me back? I can't go back. I'll be stuck in a rabbit hole doing miscellaneous drugs and well, it can't be good for me. I am an eight year old girl-child. Also, don't you know who I am?" Cerberus took at moment to get the three brains aligned. "No? Who are you".
"I", said Alice, drawing herself up to her full 4 foot 4 inches "I am Lewis Carroll's muse!"
"Oh, well then. That's different, I'm sure, but don't know if Charon will get the 'muse' thing. He's pretty particular about the being dead and coin in the mouth etcetera". Cerberus turned his heads to look over his right shoulder. "Here, he comes now. Let's see what he has to say"...

[Redzeppelin]

Charon: I'm sailing away...set an open course, for the burning sea...cause I've got to be free...free to face the blight, that's ahead of me... (Alice looks on serenely)...

[kathycf]

Alice whipped out her lighter and waved it in the air. She didn't smoke, but one never knows when a lighter will be needed for musical interludes.

Cerberus began rooting around in his pockets for a coin, to pay for Alice's passage. He gave up rather suddenly because he remembered he was a three headed dog, and thusly very unlikely to have pockets...

[Haven]

...but, Alice had flicked her Bic and Charon was mesmerised. "What was that"? He whispered. "Oh, this" said Alice waving her little red Bic [lighter] around just out of Charon's reach. "Well, I suppose you could say it's a never ending candle, of sorts. You could really brighten this place up, tapers, candles, incense...". Alice smiled at Charon watching his eyes eyeing up her Bic. "Would you, ahem..." Charon hesitated. Alice never one to let an opportunity get away, pounced. She knew he was ripe for the picking. "'Course we can do a deal". She smiled agreeably at Charon. "You mean..."...Alice smiled and nodded reasuringly, "This magic candle for one little favour..." Charon appeared to hold his breath. At this point, Alice [who had been totally focused on Charon, noticed that Cerberus I, was nosing around in the pocket of her pinafore]. She looked up just as he appeared to be chewing a morsel of cake..."Oh...no...!!" said Alice as Cerberus' I, II & III shrank to the size of a West Highland Terrier...

[Haven]

Alice looked down at Cerberus and saw him wandering towards the steep banks of the River Styx. Being a resourceful sort, she pulled a red ribbon from the pocket of her pinafore and made an approximation of a collar and lead and popped it over Cerberus's head.

Now back to negotiations. Alice casually flicked her Bic. Charon, licked his lip mesmorised by the lighter, and croaked, "What do you want for it?"...

[Pendragon]

"I need a boatride at the moment." Alice said. "And you expect to buy passage with a flaming babble?" "Well, you want it. What else would you want?" Charon smiled wickedly and cocked his head at Alice. "Hummm. Let's see. I think I'll take...your soul." "My soul is not for sale." Protested Alice. "And my boat is not for rent...usually. I make...exceptions, at times...

[ktd222]

wild exceptions. Let's just ask Queen Elizabeth. I granted her access to visit my apartment and she accepted. I'll expect she will be dressed...

[Pendragon]

"Yes, yes." Alice said, by now a bit cross with Charon. "Now see here, Sir, you were quite captivated by my magic candle, and now you seem ready to back out of a deal. That's bad form you know."

Alice had to turn quickly for Cerberus, putting his three heads together, had worked out a plan to try to slip the ribbon leash.

Charon laughed rather nastily. "Well, what did you expect? Do you see any other boats on this river? I can charge as I please."

Alice thought for a moment, then reached into the pocket of her pinafore. "Won't you have a bite with me while we discuss this?" She smiled ever so innocently.

"Don't mind if I do!" Charon grinned. Seconds later, he was as small as a tin-soldier.

"Now," Said Alice. "About the cure, and my boatride..."

[Brigitte]

Cerberus let out an earth-shaking laughter, "It's a toy!" they all said.

Alice looked up triumphantly at Cerberus, and held Charon in her hands, "No, not a toy, he's just very tiny."

Charon stuck his tongue out at Alice and said...

[Haven]

..."oy, you put me down. I don't like being this high up": and Cerberus, remembering that he was the size of a West Highland Terrier, decided that the "earth shaking laughter" was slightly out of his range... Instead he did a full-body shake, [most any size of dog will indulge in this bit of body expression].
Alice stood the tiny Charon back on dry land. Well, he wasn't much use, was he? She needed to be ferried up the river in the boat, if she was ever to get 'top side' again. She looked more closely at said boat. Oh, it was a gondola, painted white. Alice remembered from reading her Aunt's book on 'The Grand Tour' of Europe that white gondolas were used in Venice for funerals.
Hmm, she could not possibly manage the paddle [if that was what it was called]. What to do? Tucking Cerberus under her left arm, wrapping the ribbon lead tightly around her wrist she left the tiny [useless] Charon to wander about on the banks of the Styx, barely resisting the urge to drop-kick him into the rainbow-hued waters. Alice [feeling somewhat like a last minute guest at a cocktail party] cast about the dimly lit banks of the Styx looking for...

[Pendragon]

directions. "Hey!" A tiny, tinny voice piped up.

Alice looked down and it was Charon pulling on her stocking. "Stop that at once!"

"You said you had a cure, miss." Charon babbled. "Don't leave me like this! There's things down here you couldn't imagine!"

"Oh, I don't know." Alice yawned. "I have a right sort of imagination. And it would serve you right to end up as something's din--"

Charon cut her off with a high-pitched scream. "Just cure me, and I'll ferry you anywhere you want at no cost!"

"No. You'll break your word."

"Oh by the souls of the accursed! I sware by Lord Hades himself to do as you command." He thrust his minature hand into the river Styx as he spoke. It came out glowing red. "See? He binds me to that oath. Now cure me."

A little bit of magic was a wonderful thing Alice decided as she and Cerebus set off up the river with Charon, red hand still glowing at the tiller oar...

[Haven]

Alice watched the wet grey rock walls that framed the banks of the Styx glide past. Charon at the tiller and wielding the paddle in an efficient manner was taking her and Cerberus towards the soft light at the end of the tunnel. She snuck a morsel of cake from her pinafore pocket offering it to Cerberus.
"Be prepared", that particular motto seemed very apt especially at this uncertain time in her young life. She thought that a full sized 3-headed dog, one that was used to defending the gates of Hades, would be a useful guardian even though the light beyond did look inviting. The glow at the end of the tunnel grew brighter making Alice, [big] Cerberus and Charon squint into the unfolding scene...

[Haven]

The soft light at the end of the tunnel was still a distant glimmer. She stroked Cerberus's heads, trying to be equal in her affectionate stroking of the big 3-headed dog, head by fluffy head.
Charon was singing softly to himself... Oh, that's nice she smiled to herself, okay the song was called "Willin", but Alice...Dallas Alice, that lyric she had always thought of as her very own.

For all those who know the song, enjoy. And for those who don't ... YouTube? {Little Feat}


Lyrics for: Willin'

I was warped by the rain
Driven by the snow
I'm drunk and dirty, don't you know
But I'm still, oh I'm still,... willin'

Out on a road, late last night
I saw my pretty Alice, in every headlight
Alice... Dallas Alice

At this point Alice joined in and not to be left out Cerbrus added an alto-howl to Lowell George's gritty-howl
Chorus:
And I've been from Tuscon to Tucumcari
Tehachapi to Tonapah
I've driven every kind of rig that's ever been made
I've driven down the backroads so I wouldn't get weighed
And if you give me weed, whites, and wine
And show me a sign, I'll be willin' to be movin'

Now I smuggled some smoke, some folks from Mexico
Baked by the sun, every time I go to Mexico, and I'm still

And I've been kicked by the wind
Robbed by the sleet
Had my head stoved in but I'm still on my feet
And I'm willin'... oh I'm willin'

the glow at tunnel's end grew nearer...

[kathycf]

but then Alice was a little confused. Was the glow from the warm and life sustaining sun, or was it perhaps still the glow from Charon's hand? As the tunnel entrance grew ever nearer, Alice suddenly....

[andave_ya]

realized that she didn't want to go to class. Taken aback, she thought for a minute. Why didn't she want to go to class?

[kiz_paws]

Class always filled Alice with a peculiar dread, when she considered the person who lead the lesson. She was a wizened old lady, stooped over, mauvey-blue hair tightly drawn into a neat little bun that literally pulled her face flesh back with it. Her shrewd eyes pierced into the very soul of any youngster who had anything other than lessons to say. Why, only a week ago, when Alice was....

[Haven]

a normal 8 year old girl with no thoughts of rabbit holes, and ferry-men and big doggies with 3 heads, well the mauvey-blue haired, tutor had been a dread... Reading, Writing, and 'rithmetic... hmm, well Alice could see that seriously; algebra and econometrics, sheesh, where would that fit into her daily life? The movement of the gondola steered by Charon and the knowledge that Cerberus was 'on guard' gave her that lovely sense of safe haven and serentity, she closed her eyes...and the dream unfolded...

[kathycf]

...the dream unfolded....A grey mist fell over the purple sands. Alice looked at the lime green water that lapped gently upon the shore. "Cerberus" she said "We aren't in Kansas anymore..." Cerberus looked up and remarked "You halfwit, that's a completely different story." Just then a white rabbit came running swiftly along, causing Alice and Cerberus to....

[the silent x]

whip out a rifle and with amazing speed and accuracy blew the head off the rabbit, "there's dinner for tonight" said Alice. the rabbit
s head proclaimed loudly, "A lovely day to you too mam, i'm sorry but my gun is in my pocket and i can't reach it. How did you know that this is how we say hello here."

[_JadeRain_]

"I think I read about it in a book of etiquette once", answered Alice. "Although, I must admit it is quite a strange ritual. It is almost as strange as the time my kitten Dinah got into the jar of Orange Marmalade"...

[Haven]

Dinah, darling Dinah... She was a big kitty now with little kittens of her own. Marmalade was always their Sunday treat. Sticky stuff, but tasty too : )

Alice deep in dreamland, shifted a little in her corner of the Gondola. A deep snore, roused her slightly ... must be Cerberus, she thought through her dream haze. Alice drifted cradled in the arms of morpheus, back down the deep well of dreamlife... the mood had shifted, she knew that much...

[kiz_paws]

And it was with a crack of thunder that our dear gnarled gnome literally jumped up out of his nice warm bed. He shook his grizzled bumpy head back and forth to chase out the last traces of his delicious dreams of Alice, the White Rabbit and all those adventures back there in dreamland. The blast of a bent and tired tuba could be heard throughout the land. Oh my stars, the Rumbiques were at it again, invasion for the mystical waters that grant a life lived forever.... When will peace pervade? The old tuba blatted one last grunt and .....

[kiz_paws]

the lazy gnome made his way out the door, into the courtyard, where the others stood waiting. To defend what was theirs by right was truly annoying, these Rumbiques were such quarrelsome creatures. Ahhh well, a good fight can be delicious, too, thought our gnarled little friend...

[Haven]

The gnome a veteran of scenarios such as this looked around the courtyard. The odds did not look good, mind you he'd survived long enough to know that the key to survival was in superior weaponary. He unslung his favourite toy of the moment, which he kept strapped to his back; even while asleep [slept on his side]. This was a sophisticated piece of death dealing machinery. His smile at the Rumbiques was full of evil intent...

[kiz_paws]

The other gnomes looked at our hero with great trepidation. You see, upon his back was a backpack that contained a nuclear weapon, and although his aim was deadly, his feet often tripped upon the other, sending his bulk sprawling comically upon the dusty ground. Why oh why did he have the glory of carrying a weapon such as this?? Ah well, the bleating tuba sounded one final blast, as the Rumbiques were now just outside the gates of the gnome's tiny village. Suddenly ...

[Bakiryu]

An amazing sparkly fireant appeared and whispered he possed all the secrets of the universe. The gnome......

[kiz_paws]

spat his venomous spittle at the creature, and it dissolved into sand at his feet. The thunderous pounding of a blood-thirsty army was felt as the gates to the city were barely holding back. The Rumbiques were going to stop at nothing this time to obtain that which they had come for. Suddenly, ....

[Haven]

... the city gates splintered into a thousand pieces as the Rumbiques stormed through them their bloodcurdling war cries filling the air. The Bruce Willis of the gnome world, spat again; the paving at his feet sizzled. In a low steady voice, verging on a snarl, he said, "Okay lads, let's do what has to be done... let's take those Rumbiques out". He unslung his huge laser AKVII from his back [having previously, positioned the nuclear device in a place less imminently detrimental to his good self]. Just at this moment...

[kiz_paws]

a chariot of fire slowly lowered itself from the mists that had formed above (but no one noticed due to the massive wooden gates splintering like cheap little toothpicks).

The gnomes stood solemn as the Keeper of The Waters made his arrival... though none too soon. The Rumbiques felt their bowels loosen as the awesome creature glared with laser-like orbs, all while massive thunder boomed with rage and might...

[Haven]

Lightening flared in the sky and the Keeper of The Waters reached towards it channeling its energy through his body. The Rumbiques mesmerised by this awful sight, were rooted to the spot. The chariot began to descend from the heavens...

[Haven]

...The Keeper of the Waters a.k.a. Orpheus, after his succesful return from Hades [that place just won't stay dead :)], buffed his finger-nails on his breast-plate. Eurydices his wife, who had been dead in Hades [yes that old locale again...] but recently recovered, popped up behind him in the chariot. She whispered in his ear "Sweetie, think a bit of overwhelming music would do nicely...". Orpheus looked nonplussed [that would be confused in any other lingo, but we are talking mythology here ;) ]. "You what?" Orpheus continued to look confused... "Yes dearest", Eurydices smiled. "Remember the triumph of the US armed forces over the ghastly dictator Slobodan Milosevic?" " Not really, sweets" said Orpheus. "Well, loud music worked. Flushed him out as it were... " Eurydices coaxed Orpheus with a little prod of her finger towards the chariot's built in sound-system. "Led Zepplin, "Trampled Under Foot. Go on "O", crank it up!!" Orpheus slammed on the cd...But...

[kiz_paws]

Unbeknownst to Orpheus, with each decibel the Led Zepplin "Trampled Underfoot" rose, the Rumbiques became stronger and fiercer. It would appear that music was the magic that fed their fighter instincts. So unfortunately, the ruse backfired and the Rumbiques rallied round the chariot of what was once fire, but was now just a smoldering bit of dust, due to the ......

[Haven]

... gnomes, who were totally unnerved by Jimmy Page's searing guitar [and the satanic undercurrent therein]; they had in a state close to mesmiration, unleashed their lasers on Orph's and Eury's chariot. The charred wreck of the once mythological vehicle was a sorry sight. Orpheus kicked the wrecked door of the chariot and descended to the cobblestoned plaza, reaching back to assist Eurydice. The Rumbiques were surging forward. Was this the end?...

[hockeychick8792]

Or was this the start of something new. Only on person knows and that is...

[Haven]

... that narcoleptic gnome, who once again was shaking his gnarled head and emerging from an amazing dream. He had a quick shower and brushed his teeth. Yup feeling good. Hmmm, that 'fridge was looking empty. Nothing in the cupboard either. Better head out to the shops.. oh hang on. Here we go! Couple of tea-bags [okay, no milk, hey ho]. Some bread in the bread bin and there's my favourite white jam said the gnome to himself with a smile. :).


The narrator of this tale, tutted quietly... when, oh when would this gnome learn about the white jam?

The gnome turned on the radio...


----------------------------------------------------------

Courtesy of Capt Beefheart: excerpt from

"White Jam"

She serves me flowers 'n yams
'N in the night when i'm full
She brings me white jam
'N I don't know where I am

"The Spotlight Kid"


------------------------------------------------

The gnome snored with his head nestled in his arms, at his kitchen table. The white jam took him on a little trip... down memory lane and memories of his childhood and his evil twin re-emerged. What's this? The gnome now a gentleman, wearing top-hat and cape, is striding across rain slicked cobblestones, when out of the drizzle and mist the figure of a woman appears...

[kiz_paws]

Here is another game (OK, I 'borrowed' the idea from another Forum!):

Comlete the thought started by the previous person and offer another one yourself.

I reached for some more coffee and .......

[crazefest456]

drank it all in regret because,

[kiz_paws]

I was really much too ....

[Remarkable]

sleepy.But the thing is,I should drink the coffe because I couldn't allow to myself to fall asleep.The tomorrow was a big day for me and if I slept,I would have nothing ready.Because tomorrow...

[HerGuardian]

is the day of

[Remarkable]

the big change.If I'd do a good...

[kiz_paws]

deed just this once, the Keeper would ...

[crazefest456]

deed just this once, the Keeper would reap

[Remarkable]

my head off.I mean,it was hard enough for me to live in this place where good was not allowed.I had started to think that my real parents might be real people for a change(that would explain my like for coffe)but what was I to do?In the end I decided to...

[Wyoecho]

In the end I decided to...leave. It is not suitable for me to remain in such a place. The world awaits and I am ready for the trip but first I must…

[Remarkable]

say goodbye.I DO love someone here,although I'm not sure if she is ready to be taken to what I believe to be my world.So,I started to...

[kiz_paws]

write poetry. Lots of poetry. Awesome poetry; to describe my feelings to my loved one. As I finished typing the last stanza of yet another poem, my computer decided to ....

[barbara0207]

my computer decided to act of its own accord. It changed all my poetry according to the laws of this world. I ...

[Remarkable]

felt destroyed...Now how could I ever make my beloved forgive me for going away?But in that instant I thought:"This is not my world,I am not me.I must find where I belong,I must be useful and follow my heart."Heart...something they didn't have in there.My loved one came near to having one,but...

[kiz_paws]

my loved one loved the bottle. And the bottle controlled my loved one's mind. So I left this person in the .....

[Remarkable]

other world and set on my quest.But what was it?To find my people,to be a hero,to be a loser?But however,I didn't even get past the city gates,because...

[RoCKiTcZa]

I got constipated on the way. So I found a nearby bathroom and tried to SQUEEEEEEEZE it all out and I was successful in ejecting it, and oh, it was colossal. I looked around for toilet paper and to my horror I found none. No pails of water either. And when I looked down... there wasn't any toilet either. Shocked, I discovered that I was not in a bathroom, I was in...

[Remarkable]

a cell.It had got me at last.They understood what I was up to and decided to stop me.Horrible,isn't it?But by now you must be wondering how I got out(because I must have gotten out,since I am writting this story),so this is it.I...

[kiz_paws]

am an underground mole, working for, well, that is not important right now. I have been set up to ..........

[RoCKiTcZa]

...tell the top hats of DC about the lost kingdom of Arthritis, where...

[kiz_paws]

the only language spoken is ancient poetry. The manuscripts dug up in a recent archeological expedition indicate that ........

[RoCKiTcZa]

...people in the region had once worshipped the chamber pot. They...

[kiz_paws]

had devised an alphabet that was pretty much a blend of all the languages of the Earth, combined. This fact was very interesting, considering that .....

[zanna]

several languages prided themselves on being so exclusive, there were no similarities to other languages. However, by convening the World Languages Council, they were able to make the super-alphabet. As for the chamber pot-worship thing . . .

[kiz_paws]

the few that had partook of said worship died off, and no one really minded.

The super-alphabet that had been devised so as to contain all the world's languages was surely .........

[zanna]

one of the greatest inventions ever, right up there with sliced bread. However, you had to be super-human to read anything written in the super-alphabet, or at least super-lingual. Unfortunately . . .

[kiz_paws]

the only documented information was the recipe for vegetable soup that was dearly loved and devoured in these parts...

[B-Mental]

and devoured in these parts...but when it was made incorrectly it turned everyone into giant soup crazed and starved zombies....

[kiz_paws]

One day, when the good people were soundly sleeping, a soup-starved zombie got very restless and ....

[B-Mental]

a soup-starved zombie got very restless and began banging on the pots and pans like they were bongos, thats when...

[kiz_paws]

the poetry bash really got going. You see, the custom of .....

[B-Mental]

bongo banging (yeah I almost type bango bonging) is an old litnet poem reading tradition going back to 2007...that was when....

[zanna]

. . . new haikus were heralded throughout the forums with a raucous drum roll, of sorts. Of course, the problem with this was . . .

[kiz_paws]

the haiku format was not conducive to a decent beat on said bongos. So, without any warning, our friend .....

[zanna]

. . .(the soup-starved zombie) made up a new type of poetry, the "Zombini," which fit with the bongo-banging much more readily. His first Zombini had a unique structure . . .

[kiz_paws]

it had the makings of a harmonica, and yet .... there was something not quite right about it. You see ......

[Domer121]

It made people want to run around and dance when they heard it.. As though they had lost their minds.. Once someone even...

[kiz_paws]

was sent to the Principal's Office for the dreadful occasion of playing the zombini in ...........

[zanna]

science class! And then again in math! The horrors! Such a musical, literary thing had no place in either of those classes. Once all of this had been explained to the Principal, she . . .

[kiz_paws]

laughed her pretty head off, which sent the person standing there into hysterics. You see, she was a zombie...

[zanna]

too, and found the kid's audacity quite entertaining. Needless to say, he was not sentenced to detention, although, they did have to find a new principal. The next one . . .

[kiz_paws]

came roaring up in a horse drawn carriage, complete with horses snorting the blue blazes....

[bouquin]

.... and a fatuous coachman vociferating at the mendicants and hucksters of ersatz coffee to get out of the way! The carriage screeched to a halt in front of....

[zanna]

the school, and this new principal alit from the carriage. If the students were stunned when their old principal's head came off, they were even more surprised to see . . .

[bouquin]

....that the principal was no other than the foppish toady who had been sent to prison only last month for the crime of offering gimcrack to the Dowager Queen. This scandalous event....

[Boglarka]

was though pleasing to the little Ursula Blodovnicka, the little Russian aristocratic genius, who hided in the gardens, because...

[V.Jayalakshmi]

;) Dear Members,

Because she heard the footsteps of the Night Queen tresspassing through her garden singing a lullaby to a sleeping child at her breast.The child was none other than.......

[bouquin]

.... the catty cicerone's cousin.

I am chary about inviting her over to my house because....

[Gadget Girl]

she was my former best friend and now we hate each other like a...

[alakungfu]

...pair of cheerleaders fighting over the star quarterback. In fact, my pernicious cousin brings to mind...

[AdoreroDio]

...another person I hate which happens to be the pompous new Principal's principle pal named Pattonia Pattergast who happen to be...

[alakungfu]

Harry Potter's Next-door neighbour, who always had a sympathetic streak for Harry. In fact she pitied the young recluse and knew he would do great things one day when he would join her son in...

[kiz_paws]

his most dangerous mission yet to be had. Rumour has it that ...

[RJbibliophil]

somone got banned from the forum. Will you please...

[Sarasvati21]

your days are numbered.

I wonder why it is always so difficult...

[Janine]

..., just how blessed and enriched they make our lives. We should not doubt....

[ben.!]

...the existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster! I could really use a...

[sprinks]

...nice warm bath right now. But instead I'll just have to make do with a....

[sprinks]

...an improvement on today. Each new day brings...

[sprinks]

...seeing the person I love the most again, I miss him soooo much. One thing that really makes me smile is...

[sprinks]

...going longer than it's supposed to here and I'm surprised no ones gone and blamed global warming yet. I think global warming is...

[sharlot]

...a time to retreat into the self and explore what lies within the mind. Spring on the other hand...

[sprinks]

...beautiful but also sad, the leaves are dying but they look pretty doing it. Summer is...

[sprinks]

...gave me goosebumps when I was listening to it. Music is important because...

[Sarasvati21]

it transcends all time, emotion, lives, languages...

I would give anything to...

[sprinks]

see a very very good friend of mine again because I'm missing them like crazy!
My favourite thing to do when it's really hot is...

[kiz_paws]

our brains need just as much nourishment as our bodies. So I would highly recommend reading the book .....

[sprinks]

the weather has to be just right otherwise it makes it even more difficult to relax.

The weather right now is...

[kiz_paws]

... want to run and run for miles and never stop. Of course, except for when I want to smell the roses, or ..............

[sprinks]

some delicious apple pie. And with my apple pie I have some...

[sprinks]

a bright blue sky with not a single cloud in sight. It should also include...

[sprinks]

...is best spent with the window open to catch any breeze there might be.

My favourite time of the day is...

[Redzeppelin]

...the time she draws near. At other times,

[RJbibliophil]

...windows let light out. Would it be a good idea if...

[RJbibliophil]

should I run for my life or hide? Have you ever opened a book...

[RJbibliophil]

I have, many times. :p

...any book that captures my attention and would keep me up all night wondering. If I logged off soon, would...

[Tournesol]

whenever I'm sleepy. But that usually happens...

[RJbibliophil]

already past, but usually far too late. If only I did not need sleep, I

[Tournesol]

...would get everything done when I needed to. For example,

[djy78usa]

can be very soothing, unless its coming from those damned crows that like to hang outside my window at 5 in the morning.

So, no s#*t, there I was...

[RJbibliophil]

pondering my dilemma. The problem being that...

[sprinks]

...grabbed some stones and threw them at the birds to get rid of them and reduce the noise. Or at least I would have done that, if it wasn't for...

[sprinks]

...shut the window and decide to for a walk. On the walk I encouter...

[Seabird111]

...what bothers us.

The friend laughs...

[RJbibliophil]

... his problems are ridiculous and that he is making a mountain out of a molehill.

We then part on...

[kiz_paws]

...good terms; he on his scooter, and I on my ...

[sprinks]

...a good form of exercise, and a great way to admire nature. My favourite thing in nature is...

[PeterL]

a good way to get to...

[Janine]

....a weeping cherry tree, which is in bloom now and especially beautiful in the color of light pink, with it's fragrant delicate blossoms and the huge specimens are amazing and cast such a......

[djy78usa]

huge amount of pollen all over my recently washed and waxed car. It makes me want to....

[*Classic*Charm*]

cut down that glorious tree! I would but I'm stopped by...

[Janine]

...it's stunning beauty and magnificence...I just stand in awe and put up with having to wash the car again or brush off the pretty golden pollen, that is .....

[*Classic*Charm*]

plant in the BACK yard, where I can see its beauty without having to clean up after it. My only concern is...

[Tournesol]

...that it'll bother the neighbours, because whenever leaves fall into their garden they...

[Janine]

...will fuss and fume until they clean up every blasted leaf and make the whole neighborhood crazy, until someone says to them.....

[Janine]

...with your disposition; you need to relax and enjoy the simple pleasures of this beautiful earth in all it's autumn splendor, and if you find that tomorrow brings....

[djy78usa]

will help rinse some of that pollen off the car anyways, so I needn't worry about it so much. Just sit back and enjoy the...

[Scorpio Ascendant]

Book I got as a gift on my birthday. It's a fascinating story about..

[V.Jayalakshmi]

A boy in Afghanistan and his escape from there and his later life.

Why can't writers....?

[Scorpio Ascendant]

stop fixing reality. But I guess that would..

[sprinks]

...result in a decrease of interesting stories. Stories are important because...

[Scorpio Ascendant]

They offer people what they miss/want/need/look for in reality. It's an escape, or an alternative for them. Stories are great, but I love poetry more because..

[*Classic*Charm*]

...it's short and sweet. Though I get bored of reading poetry sometimes because...

[kiz_paws]

I am secretly envious of their magnificent manner in which they say things ...

[*Classic*Charm*]

that Rhyme!! I wish I could...

[*Classic*Charm*]

...more difficult because...

[*Classic*Charm*]

intimidates me because...

(sorry I know nothing of lyric poetry- you're losing me here!)

[*Classic*Charm*]

playwriting. :D I have never had a play published but...

[*Classic*Charm*]

...but I'm envious of those who can act and sing. Someday...

[*Classic*Charm*]

...I'll probably just end up watching the plays instead of acting in them. That's okay though because...

[Sarasvati21]

I get most of my best thrills vicariously anyway. For instance, ...

[barbara0207]

... Whenever I have to be on stage, however, I bend down my head and shut my eyes so people can't see me ...

[*Classic*Charm*]

...that time in grade school many years ago. It was soo embarrassing when...

[*Classic*Charm*]

...to put my costume on after I took my regular clothes off. The whole audience...

[Tournesol]

...roared with laughter, all pointing in my direction. In response I...

[*Classic*Charm*]

...broke into tears. It never occurred to me to...

[djy78usa]

start dancing a little jig. It seemed to work pretty well for that Ashlee Simpson girl on Saturday Night Live. If only...

[*Classic*Charm*]

...I could have an appearance on SNL. Of course I'd have to be famous, and we know that's not going to happen because...

[silversea]

...at the end of the day, fame is more fleeting than a moth when the light goes out. Better to entertain...

[barbara0207]

your family by falling off the ladder or hitting your thumb with a hammer while hanging a picture ...

[Sarasvati21]

...of your grandmother's deceased pet hamster, Milly. She was very attached to her, so...

[pbmn]

...she yelled at me for hurting her only picture of Elmo (the hamster), and I...

[mickitaz]

cowered into the corner of my room. Until the point he came and....

[kiz_paws]

told me that my antics were amusing thus far, but I'd be far better off ...

[Gaiam]

...joining the circus as a sideshow act because...

[kiz_paws]

when I cross my eyes they make me look wall-eyed, which is just the thing that ....

[alakungfu]

wall-eyed bass will respond to if you want them to bite when you go fishing during lunch break at the circus since the circus won't...

[kiz_paws]

serve fish ever due to a certain arrogant ...

[amanda_isabel]

man whose being such an a**hole seems to impossibly attract the eyes of a/an..

[alakungfu]

two-timing, ne'er-do-well snake in the grass for his partner in crime when they finally ...

[Beautifull]

strike your feet and...