Best mention of cheese in Literature?

[The Unnamable]

Cheese is underrated on this forum. Why? It’s a marvellous foodstuff. I’m not talking about that processed triangular stuff that looks like semi-solid, anaemic phlegm, I mean proper cheese, cheese like that sought by Belacqua in Beckett’s Dante and the Lobster:

“He looked sceptically at the cut of cheese. He turned it over on its back to see was the other side any better. The other side was worse. They had laid it better side up, they had practised that little deception. Who shall blame them? He rubbed it. It was sweating. That was something. He stooped and smelt it. A faint fragrance of corruption. What good was that? He didn’t want fragrance, he wasn’t a bloody gourmet, he wanted a good stench. What he wanted was a good green stanching rotten lump of Gorgonzola cheese, alive, and by God he would have it.
He looked fiercely at the grocer.
‘What’s that?’ he demanded.
The grocer writhed.
‘Well?’ demanded Belacqua, he was without fear when roused, ‘is that the best you can do?’
‘In the length and breadth of Dublin’ said the grocer ‘you won’t find a rottener bit this minute.’
Belacqua was furious. The impudent dogsbody, for two pins he would assault him.
‘It won’t do’ he cried, ‘do you hear me, it won’t do at all. I won’t have it.’ He ground his teeth.
The grocer, instead of simply washing his hands like Pilate, flung out his arms in a wild crucified gesture of supplication. Sullenly Belacqua undid his packet and slipped the cadaverous tablet of cheese between the hard cold black boards of the toast."


What gets your vote, then?

[Xamonas Chegwe]

G.K.Chesterton has a lot to say on the sad lack of cheese-based discourse in literature.

Cheese (http://www.dur.ac.uk/martin.ward/gkc/books/cheese.html)

[Nightshade]

UNnamabel where have you been underated! We have a cheese hazard,a cheese cake freak. I think at one time there was somthing like 6 pages dedicated to the wonder of cheese in live chat.
:D
cant think of a literary referance off the top of my headthough:D

[Whifflingpin]

http://www.litrix.com/3menboat/3menb004.htm

"Three Men in a Boat" chapter 4.

[PeterL]

I will make a point of mentioning cheese in the next story that I write.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

My trusty book of quotations only really has this to offer: -


A poet's hope: to be,
like some valley cheese,
local, but prized elsewhere.

[Riesa]

A quiz on the subject of cheese:Cheese Quiz (http://www.funtrivia.com/playquiz.cfm?qid=101418)

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Woohoo - I got 8/10!

[Weeping Willow]

Boy i suck i got 4\10... guess there is a reason why i don't like cheese as much... :goof: as for the question i think the most Brillient reffer to cheese was not in literature but in an episode of buffy the vampire slayer i don't remember the name but i'll look for it later...

[Xamonas Chegwe]

I was thinking of starting a thread on what all lovers of literature have in common - but I don't need to bother - it's obvious - we're all cheesaholics!

btw - Buffy isn't literature?

[beer good]

as for the question i think the most Brillient reffer to cheese was not in literature but in an episode of buffy the vampire slayer i don't remember the name but i'll look for it later...
Ah yes, the cheese man in "Restless". "I wear the cheese. It does not wear me."
http://www.stonesoup.co.nz/ecoqueer/archives/003318.html


Buffy isn't literature?
If Bergman is, then Buffy is, dammit! :D

As for the original question... I remember reading a scene in some novel where a Londoner ends up in a rural pub in Northern England, hungry as hell, and orders a ploughman's lunch thinking it sounds like a big meal - and ends up with just a slice of cheese... is it Martin Amis' "Money", perhaps?

[Nightshade]

I refuse to put forward my score...it was that bad!
I know who eles had a referance to cheese....
that song "there was a man who lived on themoon and his name was Aken Drum"
:D

[Weeping Willow]

btw - Buffy isn't literature?

That's why i wrote " i think the most Brillient reffer to cheese was not in literature "

Ok'! .. :lol:.... Yeah the Cheese man good to know another buffy fan !!
And with such a great user Name! Go Beer GO!!!! :D

And wait aminute! it is!! i haev two buffy books! in my house!! and Two Comics!! SO it is literature! YaY!! GO BEER!!!!! http://www.smileyville.net/hypocrite/drunk.gif http://www.smileyville.net/hypocrite/drunk.gif http://www.smileyville.net/hypocrite/drunk.gif

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Of course Buffy is literature - see the question mark? - I was querying the assumption that she isn't - anybody that fit has to be literature!

And as for comparing Buffy & Bergman. Bergman's kick-boxing scenes are frankly laughable! Although Buffy playing chess with Death could be good - especially naked chess... :brow: :brow: :brow:

[beer good]

And as for comparing Buffy & Bergman. Bergman's kick-boxing scenes are frankly laughable! Although Buffy playing chess with Death could be good - especially naked chess... :brow: :brow: :brow:
OK, I'm a hopeless geek for knowing this... but what the hell:

BUFFY: Yeah, but I thought I saw something. I'm not sure, I was really out of it, but...
CORDELIA: But you do know that you saw Death.
WILLOW: Did it have an hourglass?
XANDER: Ooo, if he asks you to play chess, don't even do it. The guy's, like, a whiz.

Weeping Willow: :D

[Xamonas Chegwe]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Virgil]

Cheese is underrated on this forum. Why? It’s a marvellous foodstuff.

Unnamable - If you keep starting threads like this one, the forum is going to start thinking you're cute and cuddly. :lol: :D :nod:

[Logos]

Ok, I've got a reference to cheese, though it may not be of the most palatable kind ;)

Gustave Flaubert was suffering the degradations of syphillis in his last years, and somewhere in his letters to his niece Caroline he wrote: "Sometimes I think I'm liquefying like an old Camembert."

[The Unnamable]

Ok, I've got a reference to cheese, though it may not be of the most palatable kind ;)

Gustave Flaubert was suffering the degradations of syphillis in his last years, and somewhere in his letters to his niece Caroline he wrote: "Sometimes I think I'm liquefying like an old Camembert."
Oh dear, that’s an image I’d really rather not consider in too much depth. That’s thing the thing about soft cheeses – they lack the good, solid virtue of the infinitely superior hard cheeses.

[The Unnamable]

Unnamable - If you keep starting threads like this one, the forum is going to start thinking you're cute and cuddly. :lol: :D :nod:
An enjoyment of cheese can lead to all sorts of misunderstandings. :D

[RobinHood3000]

In the midst of all this conversation, one must wonder, who does that deity-like voice that says, "BEHOLD, the power of...CHEESE"?

[The Unnamable]

G.K.Chesterton has a lot to say on the sad lack of cheese-based discourse in literature.

Cheese (http://www.dur.ac.uk/martin.ward/gkc/books/cheese.html)
A real gem. Thanks. I'd not read it before.

[Anna Seis]

Now I recall the XVII chapter of Quixote, part two, when Sancho Panza is buying cottage cheese and his master calls him. The poor man hides the cheese in the helmet of the knight but Quixote wants it to fight against lions. He puts on his helmet without look into it, feels the cold sweat running through his face, and explains that it isn't fear for a while as Sancho remains silent...

[Weeping Willow]

http://www.smileyville.net/user/cheese1.gif

just had to.. :D

[Xamonas Chegwe]

The last two posts show the diversity of this topic perfectly. Both are remarkable in their own way.
Anna, I thank you for reminding me of that exquisite scene from Cervantes. It's amazing that that book is over 400 years old; it still makes me laugh out loud.
Willow, top smiley, total respect!
Cheese - the great leveller - is there no end to it's powers?

[Virgil]

I like cheese as much as the next person, but if there's no wine to go along with it, then... Come to think of it, if there's no wine to go along with any food, then it's only food. How about a thread on wine?

[Xamonas Chegwe]

I like cheese as much as the next person, but if there's no wine to go along with it, then... Come to think of it, if there's no wine to go along with any food, then it's only food. How about a thread on wine?

You lead and I'll follow, just as long as you include the holy Beer in the debate (blessed be its hops).

[rachel]

Virgil,
If you cannot appreciate cheese without the wine, do you really like it?

G.K. Chesterton:

A sonnet to Stilton Cheese:
Stilton, thou shouldst be living at this hour
And so thou art.
Nor losest grace thereby;
England has need of thee,
and so have I.......

[Anna Seis]

You lead and I'll follow, just as long as you include the holy Beer in the debate (blessed be its hops).

And Porter & Cream Stout, please.
Xamonas: If we talk about Quixote, please remember the unforgetteable Maritornes. I believe she's a very charming character. :lol:

[rachel]

you know Anna whenever you post I am instantly transported to the Riviera somewhere to a private property with a deck that is about ten feet high. It is very old but still somehow very white and clean. The furniture is rattan and a large well made umbrella gives needed shade in the intense afternoon sun. I see you sitting at the table with Hemmingway and Tolstoy,Emily Dickenson and a lot of others, drinking good beer with gusto, eating the platters piled high with good food without caring a fig about calories. You speak with that incredibly intelligent brain of yours and everyone shuts up and listens. You hear no other sounds except them breathing a little strong in anticipation of the next word to come forth from your mouth.
then there is a collective nod, smiles and laughter and more drinking and eating.
I have no idea why I just do.

[Xamonas Chegwe]

And Porter & Cream Stout, please.
All beer is beer, and therefore sacred!

Xamonas: If we talk about Quixote, please remember the unforgetteable Maritornes. I believe she's a very charming character. :lol:
I'm absolutely certain that Winston Smith would have found her beautiful. ;)

[Anna Seis]

[QUOTE=rachel]you know Anna whenever you post I am instantly transported to the Riviera somewhere to a private property with a deck that is about ten feet high. It is very old but still somehow very white and clean. The furniture is rattan and a large well made umbrella gives needed shade in the intense afternoon sun. I see you sitting at the table with Hemmingway and Tolstoy,Emily Dickenson

Rachel, what a incredible imagination you have. You'll see, be sure I am not there, even when it sounds very well ;), I am in a cyber because I don't want my computer being hacked (something like that happened at once) and when I am with Hemingway and Tolstoy usually is modestly lying in bed... with Emily I still I didn't share room, but I'll do.
Even when that wonderful scene is not real, I wish it were; and I thank you for the work of create it. And, since it's monday and my friend, a lawyer, is in a party anywere, I will move to a pub to end this lonely night with black beer and maybe, Tennesee Williams will join :wave:

[Anna Seis]

All beer is beer, and therefore sacred!

I'm absolutely certain that Winston Smith would have found her beautiful. ;)

Don't you...! what a lack of respect to poor Winston! He had enough with 101 room, you have no need to invite him to that spanish lodges of the XVI century!!!

[Panurge]

Is anybody else aware of the 'Little Book of Cheese' by Oswald Burdett? He may possibly have had some connection with Oscar Wilde and the aesthetic movement. I don't have it with me now, but I remember it as being unintentionally hilarious reading for an afternoon when all the paint is dry.

I know that it started with a beautiful quote which began 'Was that not a great cheese with which Zoroaster...'

I place my free hand on a vast ripe stilton and swear that I'm not making this up. If anybody has any further information, I would be vaguely interested...

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Panurge,

Are you sure you got the name right? No matches in Amazon, or Google!

[Panurge]

http://www.abebooks.co.uk/servlet/BookDetailsPL?bi=598073846&searchurl=y%3D0%26tn%3Dlittle%2Bbook%2Bof%2Bcheese %26x%3D0%26sortby%3D3

Haha! I was beginning to think it was all a crazy camembert-induced dream, but I've just found proof at Abebooks. It was actually Osbert, not Oswald...

[Xamonas Chegwe]

Found it - but it was published in 1935, (and he was born in 1885, thus 15 when Wilde died) so I doubt the Wilde connection. I can't find any quotes from it anywhere, which is a shame (but then again I didn't look that hard.

[rachel]

sounds like a yummy thing to read of a rainy afternoon when you haven't been to market, aren't going to market and only have popcorn left in the cupboard to go with your cruciferous veggies. At least as one reads one can 'savour' the cheeses as they flow thru your hungry mind.

[Panurge]

I'm not sure why I had the idea of a Wilde connection, but it does seem a little late to be true. I do recall a lot of very Wildean 'purple prose' about taste and texture - exactly right for satisfying any dairy yearnings, Rachel.

You're wise not to look too hard for quotes - it was only that first one that really stuck in my mind...

[IrishCanadian]

Article from "Alta Frequenza": Translation by Richard Berlusconi

Monday, September 19th:


One week ago a plumber was reported to enter the flat of renown computer programmer Guiseppe Semprino due to the report of a water leak from the tenant below. Upon opening the door, the plumber jumped back because of a small gush of water that flowed out. Stepping carefully through the messy apartment he discovered a plugged sink in the washroom with the faucet running, but only a little. He shut off the water flow and started to call out for the owner. He wandered into a room and yelled out in horror as he saw Semprino dead, clinging to a tattered notebook.

After police investigated the scene it was determined that Semprino had been dead for about three days from unknown causes. Guiseppe had been a computer programmer at the company Hexaten and an information contributor to our newspaper. He lived alone in his apartment and was considered to be a genius, despite his sketchy character. Seeming always depressed and reserved, his death didn't really come as a shock to his co-workers, however the last page in his notebook did. Here's what it read:

"Dear workers of Hexaten. Eat more cheese!"

It baffled everybody and neither family, friends nor the police could conclude why this brilliant man concluded his life with such a seemingly absurd quote. Two days later a quarter of the staff from Hexaten was found dead in their homes and the rest were hospitalized, with the exception of one man. After a series of tests on the patients, Dr. Roberto Fresca released information to the press. "It seems that Hexaten had been using improperly installed water filters in their building, causing a certain bacteria to spread within the bloodstream of all the workers. Simple pain killers would have slowed down the bacteria (that is why not everyone had died), however eating more cheddar or smoked cheese would have totally eliminated every threat."

After going through Semprino's harddrive, police discovered files and documentation on his discoveries of the bacteria. Realizing that he himself was infected, he had only the strength to write down the solution to the problem and not explain the problem itself. We interviewed the one man that did not fall ill at all. "I had always admired Guiseppe's genius, so when the police released his strange message the following morning, I did not hesitate to take the advice!"

Needless to say, advice of the experienced is the best to take.


Artice by: Allesandro Prento

[blp]

JK Huysman's A Rebours or Against Nature. The wealthy aesthete suddenly becomes disgusted with his jewel encrusted tortoise, entirely black meals et al. when he sees a peasant child enjoying the simple pleasure of curd cheese on bread. He frantically orders his servant to bring him the same.

[2AddersFanged]

I first encountered this poem in a volume entitled "The World's Worst Poems", or something to that effect. It celebrates a prodigious wheel of cheese the author encountered once at a world's fair. I hereby reproduce it for the edification of all:

Ode on the Mammoth Cheese

We have seen the Queen of cheese,
Laying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze --
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial Show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.

Cows numerous as a swarm of bees --
Or as the leaves upon the trees --
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.

May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great World's show at Paris.

Of the youth -- beware of these --
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
We could not sing o' Queen of Cheese.

We'rt thou suspended from baloon,
You'd cast a shade, even at noon;
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.

James McIntyre

[kjt1981]

Definitely got to be when Bergetto tells Annabella that she should marry him because, after all, he loves her "more than Parmasan" in 'Tis Pity She's A Whore by John Ford

[kathycf]

Don't forget "cheeze lit", that is a whole sub-genre of literature... :)

Anthem for Cheese
by Snakelore
(tune of America the Beautiful)

Oh beautiful for Provolone,
For Mozzerella too,
For Cheddar, Swiss, American,
And don't forget the Blue!
Oh Munster, Brie, oh Feta please!
Parmesan, Romano too,
Monterey Jack and Camembert,
And Havarti too.

http://www.cheesenet.info/cheesenet/literature.asp