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Xamonas Chegwe
01-13-2006, 10:26 PM
There are a large number of great words that you never see in dictionaries (not even in the large, expensive ones; the ones with words between fuchsia and fucus). I used one today in another post and thought that this imbalance should be redressed. I invite anyone else that knows some welcome additions to the english language (that the likes of Oxford and Webster have sadly overlooked) to post them here.

Here's a few to kick things off. I have limited myself to the more tasteful examples that I can think of!

Bellywash (n) - cheap, low-alcohol beer.
Brainfart (n) - a temporary mental aberration.
Cribvirgin (n) - someone whose first post in a forum is an attempt to get someone else to write their essay / dissertation / course work.
Elton (n) (vt) - the word in a song that you are singing along to that is completely different to the one you actually sang. To sing this word.
Gamlin (n) - the act of getting one's partner's name wrong in bed.
Klint (n) - the croaky tone of voice adopted when ringing into work sick.
Ludlow (vi) - to speak very loudly on public transport whilst wearing headphones.
Milton (n) - a person that still gets asked their age when buying alcohol, even though they are over 30.
Phubb (n) - The sound of an obese person passing wind on a plastic chair.
Quilson (n) - the state of somebody's hair immediately after removing a hat.
Preantepenultimate (adj) - fourth from last.
Vernon (n) - a person that comes and talks to you through the door at a party when you are in the bathroom being sick.
Zankle (n) - the overwhelming desire to bite into a new bar of soap.

Any further examples will be gratefully received.

Riesa
01-14-2006, 01:04 AM
lol
Where Have I Been?
Xamonas, once again you astound me.
Freeticulate(v)the above.

water lily
01-14-2006, 05:23 AM
There were five brothers. But as the first three were very well adjusted and successful, naturally we will focus our attention on the last two (the preantepenultimate son, that is the second born, did have some qualities that were less than enviable, but the younger two easily outweighed him in all the important shortcomings:stupidity, a proneness to quilsons--and general all around unruly hair, the irrestible zankles that would seize them whenever they neared the Body Shop and the utter inability to execute convincing klints, which as we all know is contemptible even in the most worthy of human beings). The brothers' names were Milton and Vernon, now Milton was a Vernon, and Vernon, a Milton, which does complicate things. It was ill-plannning on the part of the parents, what can I say? Both brothers were apt to ludlow, which always secured them with the blackest of looks from many a set of narrowed eyes glaring above the ruffles of a newspaper. However, Milton and Vernon did in fact share one talent: they never-ever Eltoned: their voices being torturous to the ear, they had learned at an early age never to sing in public. Their parents often reflected that it would have been cheaper to have stopped at three.
The End.

Anna Seis
01-16-2006, 04:29 PM
Hey! as an Anthropoetologist, (scientifist who studies the behaviour of poetical drunk animals at pubs and doubtful places) I am very impressed to discover here this precious material. Please send more :lol: .

rachel
01-21-2006, 04:48 PM
There were five brothers. But as the first three were very well adjusted and successful, naturally we will focus our attention on the last two (the preantepenultimate son, that is the second born, did have some qualities that were less than enviable, but the younger two easily outweighed him in all the important shortcomings:stupidity, a proneness to quilsons--and general all around unruly hair, the irrestible zankles that would seize them whenever they neared the Body Shop and the utter inability to execute convincing klints, which as we all know is contemptible even in the most worthy of human beings). The brothers' names were Milton and Vernon, now Milton was a Vernon, and Vernon, a Milton, which does complicate things. It was ill-plannning on the part of the parents, what can I say? Both brothers were apt to ludlow, which always secured them with the blackest of looks from many a set of narrowed eyes glaring above the ruffles of a newspaper. However, Milton and Vernon did in fact share one talent: they never-ever Eltoned: their voices being torturous to the ear, they had learned at an early age never to sing in public. Their parents often reflected that it would have been cheaper to have stopped at three.
The End.

lol :lol: :lol: :lol:
you have a great sense of humour. Must be all that ice time up north.
"please sir can I have some more...of your writing?" :D

Pendragon
01-22-2006, 09:48 PM
XC--you need a book called The Deeper Meaning of Liff by Douglass Adams (of Hitchhiker fame) and John Lloyd. Liff is itself a word that means "a word for something for which there should be a word but there isn't." It's halarious! All the words are names of real places, but the definitions-- thas diffo! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Example:

Elgin (adj) Thin and haggard as a result of strenuously trying to get healthy.

Ely (n.) The first, tinnest inkling you get that something, somewhere, has gone terribly wrong...

:D :D :D

Xamonas Chegwe
01-23-2006, 08:08 AM
Pen,

I have seen this book (and admit to reading through most of it whilst standing in a bookshop, laughing out loud at times) but never got around to buying a copy. Thanks for reminding me.

Most of my examples are from an 'alternate dictionary' compiled by a friend of mine over 50 years. It started as a compilation of Royal Navy slang, but grew into something larger. He is constantly adding to it as he hears people using bizarrre expressions. The exception to this is 'Cribvirgin' which I spotted being used on another forum and immediately adopted - it is such a good description.

SleepyWitch
01-26-2006, 01:00 PM
hey Xamonas, these words are hillarious :) is your friend's dictionary on the net?

Xamonas Chegwe
01-26-2006, 02:00 PM
hey Xamonas, these words are hillarious :) is your friend's dictionary on the net?

Sadly not. And a lot of the other words would probably not fit the family orientation of this forum. I may post a few more of the slightly less distasteful soon.
I was hoping that others would join in with their own though...

Anna Seis
01-26-2006, 03:33 PM
I could to contribute with the transitive verb misjoplinize, that designs the action of unsuccesfully try to hang one's voice in the roof, when singing in a pub (and often eltonizing. We used to sing with a friend and he had no squalms about doing it)

SleepyWitch
01-30-2006, 10:18 AM
hum... i've never made up any English words myself (my mother tongues is German :( )
but my boyfriend came up with a compound that translates as "tutor-shirt" the other day...
it refers to the fact that my prof likes to were funny-coloured shirts.. like orange or bright red ones (most of which don't suit him or don't match his trousers or don't match anyone's idea of what shirts should look like or what kind of clothes a prof should wear).. so a tutor-shirt would be any shirt that's got bright- colours and is totally out of sync with the wearer's social status.... the person who wears it doesn't need to be a tutor... e.g. if somebody is wearing a weird piece of clothing you can say "Ah, I see you're wearing your tutor-shirt today"...
(the German word is "Dozentenhemd" for the benefit of any other Germans in here :) )
not very creative, I know.....

beer good
01-30-2006, 10:38 AM
In connection with the James Frey controversy, I find myself coming back to the term "Poetic Lie-sense". Which I suppose can be defined as "the idea that when making sense of the world, a profound, though untrue, story can be more interesting and valuable than a true but banal one". Or as philosopher/theologian Giordano Bruno put it:
Se non è vero, è molto ben trovato! (If it is not true, it is very well invented!)

Pendragon
01-31-2006, 07:58 AM
Don't know if you've heard this one or not, but the term is slobberknocker which means a no-holds-barred, knock-down, drag-out fight.

rachel
02-05-2006, 12:00 PM
There are a large number of great words that you never see in dictionaries (not even in the large, expensive ones; the ones with words between fuchsia and fucus). I used one today in another post and thought that this imbalance should be redressed. I invite anyone else that knows some welcome additions to the english language (that the likes of Oxford and Webster have sadly overlooked) to post them here.

Here's a few to kick things off. I have limited myself to the more tasteful examples that I can think of!

Bellywash (n) - cheap, low-alcohol beer.
Brainfart (n) - a temporary mental aberration.
Cribvirgin (n) - someone whose first post in a forum is an attempt to get someone else to write their essay / dissertation / course work.
Elton (n) (vt) - the word in a song that you are singing along to that is completely different to the one you actually sang. To sing this word.
Gamlin (n) - the act of getting one's partner's name wrong in bed.
Klint (n) - the croaky tone of voice adopted when ringing into work sick.
Ludlow (vi) - to speak very loudly on public transport whilst wearing headphones.
Milton (n) - a person that still gets asked their age when buying alcohol, even though they are over 30.
Phubb (n) - The sound of an obese person passing wind on a plastic chair.
Quilson (n) - the state of somebody's hair immediately after removing a hat.
Preantepenultimate (adj) - fourth from last.
Vernon (n) - a person that comes and talks to you through the door at a party when you are in the bathroom being sick.
Zankle (n) - the overwhelming desire to bite into a new bar of soap.

Any further examples will be gratefully received.

amazingly enough a female constable that works with battered women was talking to me on the telephone about three days ago and said the second on your list. I had only just read the list and was shocked to hear her say that word.Never heard it before! :lol:

RobinHood3000
02-05-2006, 12:05 PM
Yeah, it's all over the place -- anybody know the origin?

Xamonas Chegwe
02-05-2006, 04:36 PM
Yeah, it's all over the place -- anybody know the origin?

Royal Navy slang apparently. A lot of the words in his dictionary come from there.

rachel
02-06-2006, 03:27 PM
Please Sir Xamonas,
can we have more?

RobinHood3000
02-06-2006, 08:51 PM
I remember reading a humor column once with a whole mess of funny words that were made up. I'll post the link when I have more time.

Xamonas Chegwe
02-07-2006, 01:17 PM
Please Sir Xamonas,
can we have more?

Lady Rachel,

I will post more as soon as I find where I left my friends printout. Have patience.

XC

Xamonas Chegwe
02-10-2006, 05:10 PM
Here's a good one.

Antimatopoeia (n) - A word that sounds absolutely nothing like the sound of the thing that it describes.

Examples are:

Cymbal
Recorder (the instrument)
Complain

Better words to describe these objects would be:

Skinch
Troot
and Myaarng respectively.

Pendragon
02-12-2006, 08:46 AM
When we were in Computer Class and the Prof. got into a boring lecture, we used to vie with each other to make up the craziest definition for computer terms. A few:

Motherboard: Mom's heard that excuse one time too many!
CD-ROM: What you do after you come in de door.
Floppy drive: Driving on a flat tire.
Scanner: To look a prospective date over carefully, guys.
Hard Drive: Four flats.
RAM: A large, male sheep. Duh!
DRAM: Small amout of drink, hardly worth drinking.
Network: Job title for those deep sea fishing trips :lol:

aquamarineNYC
02-17-2006, 02:32 PM
Fun thread PenDragon! Loved everybody's posts. Particularly like Anna's "anthropoetologist". I heard that an entenmannologist is somebody who is an expert in Entenmann's donuts, cookies, cakes and danishes.

Today I was looking up the word for a baby swan, was it gosling or swanling? It turns out it's neither, the word for a baby swan is cygnet. But that seemed like a good word for something completely different, like a web signature or an internet icon. And then Googling cygnet I came across the word dongle, which doesn't mean remotely what it sounds like, lol, " a mechanism for ensuring that only authorized users can copy or use specific software applications".

There are unofficial collective nouns for animals, such as:

peep of chicks
float of crocodiles
pod of dolphins
gaggle of geese
pride of lions
pace of donkeys
coo of doves
cast of ferrets
skulk of foxes
skein of geese (in flight)
glint of goldfish
drift of hogs
scold of jays
ascension of larks
mischief of mice
romp of otter
company of parrots
huddle of penguins
parcel of penguins
congregation of plovers
pod of porpoises
crash of rhinos
clamor of rooks
shiver of shark
host of sparrows
sneak of weasels

There are also some fun unofficial words in the PseudoDictionary:
http://www.pseudodictionary.com/search.php?letter=a

Whifflingpin
02-17-2006, 02:48 PM
Some of those collective nouns are "official," but to me, ferrets will always be collected into a fesynes, and larks into an exaltation. Ducks go about by the badelynge, unless they are shelducks, in which case they are a dopping.


.

aquamarineNYC
02-18-2006, 12:24 AM
Some of those collective nouns are "official," but to me, ferrets will always be collected into a fesynes, and larks into an exaltation. Ducks go about by the badelynge, unless they are shelducks, in which case they are a dopping.


.

Hi dear Whifflingpin,
Happy Birthday yesterday! :thumbs_up I wish you a wonderful year! :bday_2:
You have a nice face. <I looked at your public profile page (http://www.online-literature.com/forums/member.php?userid=11092)>

Are some of those collective nouns official? I remember that delightful book as a kid, A Gaggle of Geese by Eve Merriam, illustrated By Paul Galdone. I thought her names for groups of animals were her creation. Maybe they've become official over the years? Or maybe a few of those collective nouns like a pride of lions are official?

A fesynes of ferrets? hmmm, That prompted me to Google it:

"The 'proper term' for a group of ferrets is given in a number of

fifteenth-century manuscripts, with various spellings, in true

medieval style:

a Besynys of fferettys

a Besynes of ferettis

a Besynesse of ferettes

a besynes of ferettes

a Besenes of Ferret

a Besenes of Firets

The editor Hodgkin remarks: 'The characteristic attribute of a

ferret. Those who have been out ferreting with grasp this

reference to the animal's businesslike and methodical manner of

attending to its work'.

The form 'fesnyng' etc. is based on a misreading by a 19th-century

scholar, who read one of these manuscripts as 'a fesynes of ferrets'

(although I rather like the idea it suggests of 'a fuzziness of

ferrets').

In Middle English, the word means literally 'busy-ness'."


Way cool.


Ah, an exaltation of larks is the name I used to think of if I ever thought of larks in the plural, until I heard Ralph Vaughan Williams' Lark Ascending (http://www.opuscds.com/mp3/145495.mp3).

Holy Mallard, "Badelynge is a little-known and obsolete collective noun for a group of ducks. Notable for its inclusion in the Dictionary Of Obsolete And Provincial English"...

Dang, some of the official words are delightfully strange! LOL

Your use of dopping made me Google that and Holy Goose Feathers, what fun collective nouns for birds (http://www.nzbirds.com/more/nounss.html)!

aquamarineNYC
02-18-2006, 01:07 AM
A post-birthday present for you Whifflingpin:

An excerpt from The Lark Ascending, by George Meredith (http://www.bartleby.com/246/680.html):

He rises and begins to round,

He drops the silver chain of sound,

Of many links without a break,

In chirrup, whistle, slur and shake...

For singing till his heaven fills,

'Tis love of earth that he instils,

And ever winging up and up,

Our valley is his golden cup

And he the wine which overflows

To lift us with him as he goes...

Whifflingpin
02-18-2006, 08:02 AM
Thank you, AquamarineNYC, for your greetings, your kind words, your present and your links.

An assemblage of solitaries - how perverse.

A fling of stid - sounds fun, if you know what a stid may be - it's not in my dictionary or Audubon's Birds of America or the AA Book of British Birds.

But I'm sorry, I just don't believe "a graveyard of shovellers" :lol:

Pendragon
02-18-2006, 09:01 AM
Fun thread PenDragon! Loved everybody's posts. Particularly like Anna's "anthropoetologist". I heard that an entenmannologist is somebody who is an expert in Entenmann's donuts, cookies, cakes and danishes.



There are also some fun unofficial words in the PseudoDictionary:
http://www.pseudodictionary.com/search.php?letter=a
Thanks, but it's not MY thread. That would be XC. But yes, it's loads of fun! :lol:

Xamonas Chegwe
02-18-2006, 09:39 AM
Thanks, but it's not MY thread. That would be XC. But yes, it's loads of fun! :lol:

Thanks for clearing that up Pen. I've dropped the lawsuit. ;)

And shouldn't it be a chest of tits? Or am I thinking of something else? :lol:

aquamarineNYC
02-18-2006, 02:16 PM
Thanks for clearing that up Pen. I've dropped the lawsuit. ;)

And shouldn't it be a chest of tits? Or am I thinking of something else? :lol:

ROFL, Thank God you've dropped the lawsuit Xamonas! Phew <wiping sweat off brow> :goof:

A chest of tits. nyuck nyuck (http://www.cyber-cinema.com/bestseller/t3stoogescurly.jpg). bad. very bad. Looks like you're talking about chicks, not birds or you're British (http://english2american.com/dictionary/b.html) and talking about all three? For some bizarre unconscious reason I can't figure out your pun made me think of a dirge of tax accountants. A swizzle of bartenders. A shrill of Bollywood movies.

In your original post, the Great One that started this marvellous thread, I really do love some listed:
Cribvirgin (n) - someone whose first post in a forum is an attempt to get someone else to write their essay / dissertation / course work.

(After my second post to this forum somebody did write me a private post asking me to do this!)

Elton (n) (vt) - the word in a song that you are singing along to that is completely different to the one you actually sang. To sing this word.

(lol, that is an excellent word!)

Gamlin (n) - the act of getting one's partner's name wrong in bed.

(ouch! ROFL!)

Klint (n) - the croaky tone of voice adopted when ringing into work sick.

(identification ROFL!!!)

Ludlow (vi) - to speak very loudly on public transport whilst wearing headphones.

(As a victim of NYC subway ludlow I can attest to the dire need for naming this public hazard.)

Quilson (n) - the state of somebody's hair immediately after removing a hat.

(nice)

Vernon (n) - a person that comes and talks to you through the door at a party when you are in the bathroom being sick.

(A confusing term. Is this vernon person kind or a useless dufus user? Both?)

Zankle (n) - the overwhelming desire to bite into a new bar of soap.

(hmm, not impressed with this one. I think zankle might be better used to describe an actual experience, not an imagined one, but not sure which experience, lol. Maybe the effect of biting into tinfoil?)


There's charming Japanese onomatopoeia (http://web.mit.edu/anime/www/onomatopoeia.html) used in anime that you might like:
boin boin for a well endowed woman. Hope that's not too risque for our forum here. Japanese sounds in writing (http://www.oop-ack.com/manga/soundfx.html) are fun too. Japlish (http://www.coolslang.com/in/Japan/Japlish.php) makes me smile.

Is there a word that means onomatopoeia for one's opinions rather than one's senses? Hmm, maybe one's opinions are informed by one's senses? Oh dear, I'm drifting...

Sorry I put you in hot water dear PenDragon. I need to better learn the thread ropes of this particular forum. Loved your posts though.


An assemblage of solitaries - how perverse.

A fling of stid - sounds fun, if you know what a stid may be - it's not in my dictionary or Audubon's Birds of America or the AA Book of British Birds.

But I'm sorry, I just don't believe "a graveyard of shovellers"

"An assemblage of solitaries" my cup of irony. A "fling of stid", hmmm, a cousin of XC's "chest", could be a precursor or a postprandial? I suppose those shovellers aren't the happy Brighton Beach kind.

Some words, like callipygian (http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?va=callipygian), intended to sound pleasant end up sounding dreary and I think might be redefined, ahem, associated with something else. However, certain words, like mullet (http://www.yourdictionary.com/library/mullet.html), seem just right, once an unofficial neologism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neologism) and then gone mainstream.

Certain mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia, may be indicated by an overuse or bizarre use of neologisms:
"Neologisms, an abnormality seen in the thinking, speaking, and writing of people with schizophrenia, are words that have meaning only to the person speaking them. For example, the word teardom in "I hereby teardom your happiness" is a neologism. There is no such word (http://college.hmco.com/psychology/bernstein/psychology/6e/students/key_terms/ch15.html)."

"There is no such word." seems kinda harsh to me, since neologisms are cooked up all the time by people, including psychiatrists, who, presumably, do not have schizophrenia. Schizotypal Personality Disorder (http://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/schizotypal.html), which is different from schizophrenia, also has neologisms as a symptom.

Some cool unofficial words are spoonerisms (http://www.fun-with-words.com/spoonerisms.html), like:

A Nosty Fright
The roldengod and the soneyhuckle,
the sack eyed blusan and the wistle theed
are all tangled with the oison pivy,
the fallen nine peedles and the wumbleteed.

A mipchunk caught in a wobceb tried
to hip and skide in a dandy sune
but a stobler put up a EEP KOFF sign.
Then the un****y lellow met a phytoon

and was sept out to swea. He difted for drays
till a hassgropper flying happened to spot
the boolish feast all debraggled and wet,
covered with snears and tot.

Loonmight shone through the winey poods
where rushmooms grew among risted twoots.
Back blats flew between the twees
and orned howls hounded their soots.

A kumkpin stood with a tooked creeth
on the sindow will of a house
where a icked wold itch lived all alone
except for her stoombrick, a mitten and a kouse.

"Here we part," said hassgropper.
"Pere we hart," said mipchunk, too.
They purried away on opposite haths,
both scared of some "Bat!" or "Scoo!"

October was ending on a nosty fright
with scroans and greeches and chanking clains,
with oblins and gelfs, coaths and urses,
skinning grulls and stoodblains.

Will it ever be morning, Nofember virst,
skue bly and the sappy hun, our friend?
With light breaves of wall by the fayside?
I sope ho, so that this oem can pend.

MAY SWENSON
In Other Words, Alfred A. Knopf, New York, 1987

A popular spoonerism that I've always liked is "Bitter and twisted" turned into "Twitter and bisted", like "Don't get all twitter and bisted."

ok tata (http://www.cientifica.com/archives/tata-ok-tata.jpg) (sign on Indian license plates)...

Xamonas Chegwe
02-18-2006, 02:40 PM
Vernon (n) - a person that comes and talks to you through the door at a party when you are in the bathroom being sick.

(A confusing term. Is this vernon person kind or a useless dufus user?)

A Vernon is very much the latter. He is so lonely and feels so left out at parties that he latches onto a captive audience whenever possible. Vernons usually congregate in the kitchen (although congregate is not really the right word - not even a Vernon would be seen talking to a Vernon) and start up conversations with any members of the opposite sex that are too far gone with alcohol or other intoxicants to recognise them for what they are. The mere fact that the other party has to run to the bathroom to hurl doesn't stop them; they follow, talking the while. Vernons can also be found trying to take advantage of those that have passed out on top of the pile of coats in the spare bedroom.

Nobody knows how Vernons end up at parties in the first place (no-one admits to inviting them and they completely lack the normal chutzpah necessary for successfully gatecrashing) but every party has at least one of each sex - and they always bring a bottle of sherry which never gets opened.

aquamarineNYC
02-18-2006, 03:15 PM
A Vernon is very much the latter. He is so lonely and feels so left out at parties that he latches onto a captive audience whenever possible. Vernons usually congregate in the kitchen (although congregate is not really the right word - not even a Vernon would be seen talking to a Vernon) and start up conversations with any members of the opposite sex that are too far gone with alcohol or other intoxicants to recognise them for what they are. The mere fact that the other party has to run to the bathroom to hurl doesn't stop them; they follow, talking the while. Vernons can also be found trying to take advantage of those that have passed out on top of the pile of coats in the spare bedroom.

Nobody knows how Vernons end up at parties in the first place (no-one admits to inviting them and they completely lack the normal chutzpah necessary for successfully gatecrashing) but every party has at least one of each sex - and they always bring a bottle of sherry which never gets opened.

Dang XC, these vernons are deeply repulsive, contemptible, downright despicable (http://www.despicable.org/daffy.png)! Yeah, and what is it with vernons and sherry?

Xamonas Chegwe
02-18-2006, 03:31 PM
No idea - I guess sherry is just a part of their culture - like cardigans. :nod:

aquamarineNYC
02-18-2006, 04:08 PM
No idea - I guess sherry is just a part of their culture - like cardigans. :nod:

ROFL and -gasp- c a r d i g a n s (http://murphyandcompany.site.yahoo.net/derryveagh.html) too, gollum attire??!!

uh oh, I can feel the cardigan wearers on this forum rising up as one in protest. Do female vernons wear twin sets (http://www.qvc.de/img/DE/1/23/181323s.jpg)?

non sum
02-18-2006, 04:34 PM
ROFL and -gasp- c a r d i g a n s too, gollum attire??!!

uh oh, I can feel the cardigan wearers on this forum rising up as one in protest. Do female vernons wear twin sets


lol :lol: :lol: :lol: the image is just too much...a band of cardigan cloaked bookworms wielding torches, pichforks and large tomes of bad literature

aquamarineNYC
02-18-2006, 05:21 PM
the image is just too much...a band of cardigan cloaked bookworms wielding torches, pichforks and large tomes of bad literature

Oh dear, nightmare visions of humorless mobs (http://www.kidport.com/RefLib/UsaHistory/CalGoldRush/Images/JudgeLynch.gif), vicious librarian wannabes (http://www.brainlock.org/pix/lookitup.jpg) and worse.

But on a happier note...-desperately trying to distract the cardigan wearing hordes by throwing links into the crowd- here's a cool URL to see the skeletons of cartoon characters (http://michaelpaulus.com/gallery/character-Skeletons).

Pendragon
02-20-2006, 08:52 AM
Whew! I just had visions of Judge Judy glaring at me! I don't drop in very often, so I didn't see the post for a while. When I did, I was quick to give credit to the correct person. Do not call your lawyers, please! ;)

On Spoonerisms, one I liked was "Son, it's kisstomary to cuss the bride."

More (ahem) computer terms:

Mouse: annoying rodent that chews on your various cables and wires causing a crash.
Monitor: Any person who looks over your shoulder while you work on a computer and offers advice.
Keyboard. Fedup with the stupid caplock sticking or various other problems
Blue Screen: A reason to take up golf instead of computers
Tech Support: A common urban legend known by it's repetative call: " You call is important to us, please continue to hold..."
Computer Chip: What the guys at Tech Support are using in their all-important poker game.
Command: Signifacant other's less than subtle hint
Computer Programmer: The only guy who knows how the computer works at a given business, so he can get away with anything...
Computer Crash: The sound of an expensive layout hitting the sidewalk because it's locked up and the owner has been on hold to the mythical Tech Support for four hours now.
Lock Up: Where they should put people with too much time on their hands before they write these commputer viruses! :lol: :lol: :lol: