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UrbanLegendz
12-27-2005, 09:31 PM
Only In My Dreamz [ZzzZ]

A broken soul causes calamity
In a place I can’t conceive
Afraid of what my eyes might see
When I fall asleep …

In my imagination I have to face ---
Nothing but this lonely-ness
So it got me searching wide but cannot find
In this abandon empty-ness
But when your love enters inside my mind
!? Mysteries remain unsolved ?!
Refused but cannot be declined
Your there when I’m unloved

If what you said was true, it must be false
So is love just another word for paradox ?

This question haunted me deep inside
Slipped and stumbled and couldn’t decide
So I thought I sought suicide
But the inspiration influenced me to stay alive.

“Because” …
Your presence gives, a cause to live
A thought of you, is a purpose to breathe.
[Pause]
Moments we share, leaves no reason for everlasting grief.
But Living life with your care, is like an eternal season of relief …

What she has gave … no-one can take.
Because in my mind state ---
A thing like “hate” … is not existent!

Thy Love is as strong as Death
But reality, is as cruel as the grave …
I dreamt for the dreams to be kept
But can’t come true, unless I awake.

Real eyes, realize, real lies
But we are blind, when we hide, behind our pride.

Love is difficult to obtain, like a pearl in the sea
Just as glamorous and beautiful, like the image of a coral reef
And I am pleased when I fall asleep, but the moment seems too brief….
I cry because you are there for me … but only in my dreamz . . .

UrbanLegendz
12-27-2005, 09:32 PM
uppin for feedback.
that's the only way i'll elevate right ?
positive or negative, i'll take it.

EDIT : i guess this belongs at personal peoms --- someone could move it.

pCe

smilingtearz
12-28-2005, 04:44 AM
absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!......I have no other words to express...i mean it shows there's something you deeply felt, and the words are "pure"...
Made me cry....

UrbanLegendz
12-28-2005, 02:03 PM
absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!......I have no other words to express...i mean it shows there's something you deeply felt, and the words are "pure"...
Made me cry....

thanks a lot , i appreciate it.
poetry is not really my thing, i just write when i have something to say , or i am bored and need to do something.

uppin for more feedback.

Outlander
12-30-2005, 07:59 AM
Beautiful, and sad...

...... I do have a question for You "UrbanLegendz", An answer would be most appreciated; You being one who seems to think you have so many.

(Not an attack, just pointing out the obvious)

Why bother with such trivial matters as "Love", when in your conversation with God, not even the slightest mention was made of it in conjunction with elevation?

kurious
12-30-2005, 10:34 AM
Good Morning UrbanLegendz:

Since you are uppin for feedback, i will give you mine. I loved your poem, felt the sadness, I think we all seek the "real". and it's not always obtainable. Real love never leaves, we always carry it with us, even as we go on with our lives, this is part of what your poem says to me.

Have a wonderful new year, and may you find and keep your love close to you, even if it is in your dreamz

Kurious

Pensive
12-30-2005, 10:47 AM
Its great. Keep on with the good work.

UrbanLegendz
12-30-2005, 03:37 PM
Beautiful, and sad...

...... I do have a question for You "UrbanLegendz", An answer would be most appreciated; You being one who seems to think you have so many.

(Not an attack, just pointing out the obvious)

Why bother with such trivial matters as "Love", when in your conversation with God, not even the slightest mention was made of it in conjunction with elevation?


i didn't conversate with god.
i got it from a site, i believe i posted the source.

and i don't think i have many answers. =/

uppin.

Outlander
12-31-2005, 04:45 AM
Thought you wrote it.
I should pay better attention.

Well Then....that aside,

Your poem is Tragically Beautiful ~ Haunting in it's Familiarity.

You've touched on something. Do it again. :thumbs_up

UrbanLegendz
12-31-2005, 01:28 PM
Thought you wrote it.
I should pay better attention.

Well Then....that aside,

Your poem is Tragically Beautiful ~ Haunting in it's Familiarity.

You've touched on something. Do it again. :thumbs_up

lol, i'm not a 30 somethin year old guy who has children and lives in the UK (i think)

i'm simply 16 year old who lives in Los Angeles, California.

----------
thankz for the comments. i usually don't write poetry, just when i feel like it.

Outlander
12-31-2005, 02:01 PM
Rather advanced for a 16 year old. - You've been dealt a fine hand.

UrbanLegendz
12-31-2005, 09:32 PM
Rather advanced for a 16 year old. - You've been dealt a fine hand.


i really appreciate that.

Avalive
01-10-2006, 05:48 PM
If I read twice, I might shed a tear
For those love we can't have will be brought to our grave
Or maybe to live is to hope
To wait, untill life rewinds itself

UrbanLegendz
01-14-2006, 01:49 PM
^ thanks for the compliment =/

Virgil
01-14-2006, 02:29 PM
Hey this is very good for a sixteen year old. If this is meant as a lyric for music, I think it's great as is. If it's meant for poetry on a page, the suggestion I have is that you should look carefully at where certains lines become cliche, and you should try to squeeze that cliche out, but keep the nice rhythm and pace that you've accomplished.

UrbanLegendz
01-23-2006, 10:14 PM
^^ thanks for the advice, it helps a lot.

UrbanLegendz
07-29-2006, 11:33 PM
Oh,wow. I forgot I wrote this. This was a long time ago. I believe this poem was the last one I wrote.