Your Will

[Scheherazade]

Donne's poem 'The Will' is one of my favorites:
BEFORE I sigh my last gasp, let me breathe,
Great Love, some legacies ; I here bequeath
Mine eyes to Argus, if mine eyes can see ;
If they be blind, then, Love, I give them thee ;
My tongue to Fame ; to ambassadors mine ears ;
To women, or the sea, my tears ;
Thou, Love, hast taught me heretofore
By making me serve her who had twenty more,
That I should give to none, but such as had too much before.

My constancy I to the planets give ;
My truth to them who at the court do live ;
My ingenuity and openness,
To Jesuits ; to buffoons my pensiveness ;
My silence to any, who abroad hath been ;
My money to a Capuchin :
Thou, Love, taught'st me, by appointing me
To love there, where no love received can be,
Only to give to such as have an incapacity.

My faith I give to Roman Catholics ;
All my good works unto the Schismatics
Of Amsterdam ; my best civility
And courtship to an University ;
My modesty I give to soldiers bare ;
My patience let gamesters share :
Thou, Love, taught'st me, by making me
Love her that holds my love disparity,
Only to give to those that count my gifts indignity.

I give my reputation to those
Which were my friends ; mine industry to foes ;
To schoolmen I bequeath my doubtfulness ;
My sickness to physicians, or excess ;
To nature all that I in rhyme have writ ;
And to my company my wit :
Thou, Love, by making me adore
Her, who begot this love in me before,
Taught'st me to make, as though I gave, when I do but restore.

To him for whom the passing-bell next tolls,
I give my physic books ; my written rolls
Of moral counsels I to Bedlam give ;
My brazen medals unto them which live
In want of bread ; to them which pass among
All foreigners, mine English tongue :
Though, Love, by making me love one
Who thinks her friendship a fit portion
For younger lovers, dost my gifts thus disproportion.

Therefore I'll give no more, but I'll undo
The world by dying, because love dies too.
Then all your beauties will be no more worth
Than gold in mines, where none doth draw it forth ;
And all your graces no more use shall have,
Than a sun-dial in a grave :
Thou, Love, taught'st me by making me
Love her who doth neglect both me and thee,
To invent, and practise this one way, to annihilate all three.I am wondering what you would put in your wills if you were to write one today.

I would like KitKats to be served at my funeral (needless to say, I guess) and those who refuse to eat would be bopped!

:D

[kilted exile]

I have little of any value to leave to anyone however I have made a few decisions with regards to my funeral.

1) I want the following passage from Frankenstien to be read as I am being cremated.

"I shall die, and what I now feel be no longer felt. Soon these burning miseries will be extinct. I shall ascend my funeral pile triumphantly and exult in the agony of the torturing flames. The light of that conflagration will fade away; my ashes will be swept into the sea by the winds. My spirit will sleep in peace, or if it thinks, it will not surely think thus. Farewell."

2) I wish my ashes to be thrown into the harbour at Crail, whilst one of my friends from Glasgow plays Amazing Grace on the pipes.

3) I will abide no crying, anyone who crys is getting haunted.

[starrwriter]

What's with you and KitKats, Scher?

If I had a will, I would leave my millions to the National Lampoon Magazine. I've got piles (but unfortunately I sit on them.)

PS: I forgot to mention I want a Viking funeral. Tie my corpse to the mast of a sailboat, set the vessel afire and launch it out to sea. What a way to go! :banana:

[Pensive]

Hey Scher, Do you mean the chocolate (Kit kat) or is it something else?

[Nightshade]

she means the choclate.
Lets see me? I want to be an organ doner if possible. I want the cheapest funeral possible and if people have to cry fine. NO BLACK. And serve all the nicest foods. And no flowers because they're expensive and there is no point in wasting money on the dead :nod:

[Dark Lord]

i have nothing to leave or to give , i shall die as i lived in this world and really i don't want anything from anyone

[Koa]

Just don't look through my stuff, papers and all...just throw them away...

Funeral? Bah, useless...

[Taliesin]

and if you bury me, add
three feet to it
one for your sorrow, two
for your sweat
three for the strange
things we never forget
and long after we're gone
the light will stay on
and long after we're gone
the light will stay on

------------

and if you bury me, dig
three feet, add
five litres of water
and so many seeds
that it is enough
create a new world
and kill me again

[Scheherazade]

What's with you and KitKats, Scher?I simply cannot stand them!

Pensive>Yes, I am refering to chocolate KitKats.


I was also thinking that my funeral would be a good time for people to think about my life and my personality. I mean, being of a humble temperament, I, of course, do not mention those while I am alive... but I can picture people contemplating and remembering all my achievements and what a wonderful person I have been as they have their KitKats somberly.

I will, of course, be looking down from above, smiling magnanimously and blushing as I try to get used to my halo and wings!

[starrwriter]

I will, of course, be looking down from above, smiling magnanimously and blushing as I try to get used to my halo and wings!
Or looking up from below and coughing sulfur fumes.
(heh heh)

[Scheherazade]

Or looking up from below and coughing sulfur fumes.
(heh heh)Well, that too I guess... Only when I come to visit you!

My angelic nature surely won't let me forget the less fortunate Forum members!

*grins Scheherazadishly

[papayahed]

I tell my mom (just to get her riled up) that I want a huge funeral, and I want to be sitting up in the casket, facing the audience if possible, wearing a bright red low cut evening gown.

In reality I would like to be buried in the woods somewhere, no embalming, no anything just straight into the ground.

What I do have should be donated to charities, third to the humane society, third to childrens charities, and a third to a local detroit charity.

My belongs can go to my cousin (if my mom doesn't want them), my cousin would rather have cash - this way he gets a little something but still has to work for it, the lazy bum.

[Basil]

Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd rather have 'em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size.

Please Don't Bury Me - John Prine

[starrwriter]

Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd rather have 'em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the size.

Please Don't Bury Me - John Prine

Good Lord! The man likes John Prine. In my mind that adds a whole new dimension to you, Basil. Next you'll be telling me you like Warren Zevon. Are you an "excitable boy"?

[rachel]

why do you need for us to know that?
I have written my will, for me as soon as you bring forth your first babe you need to seriously do the will thing.
It is very personal but I have journals for each child sharing different aspects of my life because I have a different relationship with each child.
I want my personal things divided in such a way I bless each child in a manner that brings joy to them
My money goes to them, in increments so they always have something, especially Desiree who thinks nothing of spending thousands in a day just because she felt sad or happy or hungry or liked the color pink that day.
I give some in trust for my street ministry and I will be setting something up that will provide an education for any on the street that meet the intelligence and other criteria so the money is a good investment.
I give some to a certain society that fights hard to keep endangered forests, old growth and such alive for future generations.
I give some to my overseas child Gheorghe Mindru in Moldova. son of two alchoholics
he wants to be a carpenter and use the money for himself,his family and to help other children in that place.
some in trust to rescue little children so they can have a good and safe and happy life.
whether someone cries is their business but I hope they will smile when they remember the fun and laughter when we had our times together.

[Basil]

In my mind that adds a whole new dimension to you, Basil.
Be still my heart.

[starrwriter]

Be still my heart.
He IS an excitable boy!

[papayahed]

He IS an excitable boy!


Are you sure he's not a werewolf of london?

I think I saw him drinking a pina colada at Trader vics.

[starrwriter]

Are you sure he's not a werewolf of london? I think I saw him drinking a pina colada at Trader vics.
He was also asking for money, guns and lawyers.

[papayahed]

ok, you got me I only know 2 songs by Mr. Zevon.

[starrwriter]

ok, you got me I only know 2 songs by Mr. Zevon.
The late Mr. Zevon, since we have been speaking of wills and burials. Cancer croaked him last year, I think it was. Too bad, he had a truly warped sense of humor.

[papayahed]

The late Mr. Zevon, since we have been speaking of wills and burials. Cancer croaked him last year, I think it was. Too bad, he had a truly warped sense of humor.

There was a documentary-like show of him recording his last CD. It had some pretty good tunes, from what i remember I even thought about getting the CD - then Audioslave came out with their CD and all bets were off..

[Scheherazade]

The OP:
Donne's poem 'The Will' is one of my favorites:I am wondering what you would put in your wills if you were to write one today.

I would like KitKats to be served at my funeral (needless to say, I guess) and those who refuse to eat would be bopped!

:D

[JuniperWoolf]

I always wanted to be just left in the middle of the woods. Most of the area here is like that. Decomposing like it should be, being torn up by animals and eaten by bugs, sounds a whole lot better than lying in some stupid cushion box that I'm not going to feel anyway, underground marked with some $6000 rock.

That said, you in a bit of a morbid mood today Scher?

[papayahed]

There was a documentary-like show of him recording his last CD. It had some pretty good tunes, from what i remember I even thought about getting the CD - then Audioslave came out with their CD and all bets were off..

Maybe I should check out that CD. I mean really, Audioslave?

[MANICHAEAN]

There is a short story by Frederick Forsyth where a single man of millionaire status and loner habits finds he has incurable cancer. He also has a family he despises.

The tale in true Forsyth fashion becomes somewhat elaborate but the basics are:

1. He walks into an orphanage & gives the Mother Superior a large check for the bulk of his wealth..
2. Fakes in a rather complicated manner, a gold coffin.
3. Writes a will stipulating that he is to be buried at sea.
4. The family to attend.

In due course when the pain becomes too much, he commits suicide, the burial takes place in the deepest part of the North Sea, in mid January and everyone is sea sick. The family returns to land, the will is read & they are informed that they have just been witness to seeing the deceased buried in a gold coffin.

The moral?.

YOU CAN TAKE IT WITH YOU!

"Cheque" for "Check"
Woops!

[OrphanPip]

Ah, well I've got the organ donor thing on the back of my medicaire card, so if I were to die today they'd chop me up and take whatever is useful.

I own practically nothing except some clothes, a TV, and my computers, my family can fight over the stuff if they like, no need to leave that to anyone in particular. Likewise, I have practically no money.

They can cremate me and do away with the ashes wherever is cost effective and expedient, no need for a ceremony, waste of time and money.

[Maximilianus]

I am almost positive I will die a poor man, given the ineffectiveness I have shown to produce welfare by myself. Therefore, I am very likely to die alone, given the fact that empty wallets entice no company, let alone empty bank accounts. However, I still dream of a glorious death, and if I find a way to get one for myself, I would really love to receive the funerals of a king, or military hero, or whatever people see fit according to their best judgment on the value of my heroic passing. Should I be allowed a final wish, I would like to be solemnly set on a Viking ship, pushed along a crystal clear river, and as the ship is sailing to the sunset, an archer would loose a burning shaft, so that I can fade amid a glorious flame between the sundown and the briny. Yeppers, that's my will, to be cast into the fire, definitely. I just need someone to lend me a viking ship they won't be using, and I'll mostly be done :p

[SilentMute]

I hope you are okay, Scher. You seem a little preoccupied with death lately. I'm hoping you are just getting into the spirit of Halloween.

[Maximilianus]

I hope you are okay, Scher. You seem a little preoccupied with death lately. I'm hoping you are just getting into the spirit of Halloween.
I don't know for Scher, but for me death is such a fascinating subject that I almost feel as though I were a fish swimming in my own pond when I talk or think about it. Just my view on it :p

Am I sick in the head? http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_thinking.gif

:p

[Scheherazade]

That said, you in a bit of a morbid mood today Scher?
I hope you are okay, Scher. You seem a little preoccupied with death lately. I'm hoping you are just getting into the spirit of Halloween.Not sure... If it is some kind of mood, it must have lasted quite long, considering that these threads were started almost five years ago!

:p

[JuniperWoolf]

Not sure... If it is some kind of mood, it must have lasted quite long, considering that these threads were started almost five years ago!

:p

Truuue, but you revived them both in the same day.

[Maximilianus]

In my humble opinion, better revive two corpses than one, quod the yeoman :p

[L.M. The Third]

When we were little girls my best friend and I used to make our wills and write very elaborate eulogies and warnings to all enemies who should dare to come near our bones.

I once heard that Roger Williams' body was dug up many years after his burial, and it was found that a tree had wrapped its roots around his body and the roots still maintained the shape of a man's body. I doubt there is anything to it, but I would love to just be buried under a tree in the cow pasture since I have such a love for trees and the woods. But of course I wouldn't know if a tree did deign to wrap its roots around me. Unfortunately, I've been told that such a burying would be against the law.

Several years ago I went to see the traveling exhibit Body Worlds, where they have preserved dead bodies, many with the skin removed, for educational purposes. I suggested that I could donate my body to that and my father had a fit against the indignity. I think my mother would also have objected to my body being on display nude. :smilewinkgrin:

Maybe if I donated any organs it wouldn't be so objectionable as they would be hidden from view.

Cremation might be an option, but it sounds like so delicious a ceremony that I'd want to attend. Hmm. I'll go up to Lake Lebarge for that one. "There are strange things done in the Midnight Sun." Maybe I'll manage to "hark with a grin."

And I want a funeral. But I've got to be able to attend and see what everyone says. Then I could die laughing.