View Full Version : Letter to Santa
papayahed
12-16-2005, 12:37 PM
http://members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm
Mine:
Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Gina's Office party. It was David who spiked the punch with too much Beer. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like pineapple.
I thought it was funny when I put Kevin's shoes on my head and danced the conga on the chair while singing `Hotel Yorba'. I didn't mean to break Gina's MP3 and don't know why Gina would accuse me of burglury.
I don't remember calling Kevin's wife a pale cow---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and red lipstick!
And when I threw up on Gina's husband's thumb, it was only because I ate too much of that cheese.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my bike through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a light dog and have me arrested for assault!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all small and big. And I'm really not to blame for any of this short stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and gingerly yours,
Danielle (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 12 bucks!
Riesa
12-16-2005, 01:04 PM
"Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good Girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Amy's Office party. It was Set who spiked the punch with too much Martini. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like vanilla.
I thought it was funny when I put Monica's shoe on my head and danced the tango on the barstool while singing `He's got the whole world in his hands'. I didn't mean to break Amy's computer and don't know why Amy would accuse me of murder.
I don't remember calling Brad's wife a placid donkey---even though she looked like one with pink eye shadow and orange lipstick!
And when I threw up on Kerry's husband's knee, it was only because I ate too much of that fish taco.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my dump truck through my neighbor's bathroom. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a antisocial Pug and have me arrested for Kidnapping!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all malignant and poverty stricken. And I'm really not to blame for any of this depressed stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and rapidly yours,
Riesa (Really a nice Girl!)
P.S. It's only 4 bucks!"
http://members.aol.com/frogiearno/dearsanta.htm
Nightshade
12-16-2005, 01:12 PM
Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Jay's Office party. It was Rachel who spiked the punch with too much Mountain Dew. I can't help it if I drank 6 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like Lavender.
I thought it was funny when I put Robin's Jeans on my head and danced the salsa on the Table while singing `YMCA'. I didn't mean to break Jay's Toaster and don't know why Jay would accuse me of GBH.
I don't remember calling Pen's wife a Harmless Cow---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and Pink lipstick!
And when I threw up on Shea's husband's Hand, it was only because I ate too much of that spinach.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Car through my neighbor's Kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a annoying cat and have me arrested for DUI!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all tierd and hungry. And I'm really not to blame for any of this cold stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and Quickly yours,
Night (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 20 bucks!
:eek: Sorry Pen's wife I did this before I papya and Riesa put up thiers so I did exactly the same agina after my computer crashed!
:D
Anon22
12-16-2005, 08:34 PM
Dear Santa,
I have been a good Boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at someone's Office party. It was someone who spiked the punch with too much water. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like cologne.
I thought it was funny when I put someone's pants on my head and danced the Flamenco on the couch while singing `Jingle Bells'. I didn't mean to break someone's robot and don't know why someone would accuse me of robbery.
I don't remember calling no one's wife a transparent duck---even though she looked like one with aquamarine eye shadow and aquamarine lipstick!
And when I threw up on no one's husband's finger, it was only because I ate too much of that glass.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my tricycle through my neighbor's room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a aquamarine duck and have me arrested for robbery!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all aquamarine and aquamarine. And I'm really not to blame for any of this aquamarine stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and aquamarine yours,
Yeah, Like I'm Telling You! (Really a nice Boy!)
P.S. It's only 7 bucks!
kilted exile
12-16-2005, 09:40 PM
Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Shawn's Office party. It was Caswell who spiked the punch with too much whisky. I can't help it if I drank 15 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like puke.
I thought it was funny when I put Jared's shirt on my head and danced the polka on the table while singing `white christmas'. I didn't mean to break Shawn's television and don't know why Shawn would accuse me of treason.
I don't remember calling Derek's wife a boring hen---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on Stef's husband's big toe, it was only because I ate too much of that coleslaw.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my wagon through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a sweaty toad and have me arrested for robbery!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all confident and weak. And I'm really not to blame for any of this ugly stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and unfortunately yours,
Andrew (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 28 bucks!
Miss Darcy
12-18-2005, 03:05 AM
Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Victor's Office party. It was Krysta who spiked the punch with too much water. I can't help it if I drank 28 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like perfume.
I thought it was funny when I put Xu-Lian's jumper on my head and danced the waltz on the top of a book shelf while singing `O Sole Mio'. I didn't mean to break Victor's new MP3 player and don't know why Victor would accuse me of tap-on-the-shoulder.
I don't remember calling Thingy's wife an exquisite chicken---even though she looked like one with black eye shadow and white lipstick!
And when I threw up on Katie's husband's hands, it was only because I ate too much of those pancakes.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my bicycle through my neighbor's study. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a exhilarating squirrel and have me arrested for attempted robbery!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all wonderful and excruciating. And I'm really not to blame for any of this lovely stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and miserably yours,
Miss Darcy (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 478 bucks!
Haha, rrrright.
Kaltrina
12-19-2005, 06:42 AM
Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good Girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Blerina's Office party. It was Verona who spiked the punch with too much Red Wine. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like oranges.
I thought it was funny when I put Xili's jeans on my head and danced the latino dance on the working table while singing `My immortal'. I didn't mean to break Blerina's laptop and don't know why Blerina would accuse me of stabbing with a knife.
I don't remember calling Tom's wife a sacred horse---even though she looked like one with blue eye shadow and black lipstick!
And when I threw up on Vlora's husband's hand, it was only because I ate too much of that rice.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's kitchen. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a thrilling puma and have me arrested for burglary!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all marvellous and delicious. And I'm really not to blame for any of this fat stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and repeatedly yours,
Kate (Really a nice Girl!)
P.S. It's only 24 bucks!
this is good. :lol: :lol:
smilingtearz
12-27-2005, 08:08 AM
Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at mansi's Office party. It was Noel who spiked the punch with too much Beer. I can't help it if I drank 14 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like orchids.
I thought it was funny when I put Mansi's Skirt on my head and danced the Salsa on the Sofa while singing `Its now or never'. I didn't mean to break mansi's Elec. guitar and don't know why mansi would accuse me of murder.
I don't remember calling Mark's wife a Cheerful Cow---even though she looked like one with Red eye shadow and Black lipstick!
And when I threw up on Anitha's husband's Cheek, it was only because I ate too much of that banana split.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my ferrari through my neighbor's dinning room. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a crazy cat and have me arrested for theft!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all angry and sad. And I'm really not to blame for any of this mad stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and loudly yours,
Eva (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 140 bucks!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:...i want it to be christmas again !!
smilingtearz
12-27-2005, 08:10 AM
i know this is a bit late...but could not come online on christmas...here's something i got on mail...and i thought would fit in this thread...
Weeping Willow
12-27-2005, 02:37 PM
Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good boy.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at guy's Office party. It was guy who spiked the punch with too much chocolate. I can't help it if I drank 9 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like odor.
I thought it was funny when I put ariel's hat on my head and danced the happy on the couch while singing `radio / video'. I didn't mean to break guy's computer and don't know why guy would accuse me of bank robbery.
I don't remember calling piter's wife a Pure Sheep---even though she looked like one with green eye shadow and yellow lipstick!
And when I threw up on rachel's husband's eye, it was only because I ate too much of that mexican.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my car through my neighbor's roof. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a long giraffe and have me arrested for murder!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all big and strong. And I'm really not to blame for any of this hollow stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and hard yours,
bob (Really a nice boy!)
P.S. It's only 8 bucks!
???? :eek: :goof: wierd..
drove my car through my neighbor's roof
That doesn't make sense... :goof:
starrwriter
12-27-2005, 03:42 PM
My after-Christmas letter to Santa:
Dec. 27, 2005
Dear Santa,
Christmas Eve you jimmied my door
And ate my Ex-Lax cookies
You left no gift except for this
A brown trail on the floor
The awful odor gave offense
But I took pride in knowing
You returned to the North Pole
With cramps and burning flatulence
smilingtearz
12-28-2005, 03:02 AM
:lol: :lol:
starrwriter
12-28-2005, 01:46 PM
:lol: :lol:
It's nice to see that a woman actually appreciates my crude scatological humor. I guess there is hope for females after all.
Helga
12-30-2005, 06:12 PM
did you know that most of the letters sent to santa come to iceland?!!!! I just found out....
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