Why can't I be a hermit?

[Shea]

I had a wonderful day off yesterday, I got to sleep in, read, work on a jigsaw puzzle, watch a movie, get the dishes and laundry done. At the end of the day, I started to feel depressed because it was over. I even cried for over an hour. I have to go back to work in 2 and a half hours and, ironically, its not the work that I don't like, it's being around people. I love solitude but I don't get nearly enough of it. I work well with people, that's why the retail job I've had for 4 years is doing their utmost best to get me to come back for summer work and other breaks when I start teaching. But I get so utterly sick of people! :rage: It's not just because of the holiday season, I feel like this all year round, it just seems to be worse right now, because I don't have the excuse of study anymore to give me some solitude.

[Riesa]

You sound poor and harassed, Shea. (Poor as in Poor Baby). I love solitude too, and I used to get too much of it, but now with the kids and the husband, the little spaces to myself are like jewels in my week. Can you get away for a bath or a walk? That always seems to help me.

[Shea]

You sound poor and harassed, Shea. (Poor as in Poor Baby). I love solitude too, and I used to get too much of it, but now with the kids and the husband, the little spaces to myself are like jewels in my week. Can you get away for a bath or a walk? That always seems to help me.

My feet are usually too achy to walk because I stand all day at work. I get to take a bath at night every once in a while, but usually I'm so tired once I get everything done, I go straight to bed. I never realized how much I loved my solitude until I stopped studying for grades. Leo doesn't help very much because he doesn't understand unless I get so tired that I start to cry. He can go on 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night. If I did that, I'd go crazy. But sometimes it feels like that's what it takes to get everything done. If I'm like this now, I can't imagine what it will be like when we have kids!

[Shea]

I know, I know... I'm whining now. I'm just so tired.

[Weeping Willow]

No i totally get you.. a year ago when i finished my army service i had two months of nothing to do and later on i got a job in the movie theater which ment i worked only three to four days aweek between four to twelve in the night..
I had so much free time for myself.. i slept, read, watched tv and all seemed well.
But now that i work for 10 hour a day and infront of a computer non the less,
I come home and all i want to do is to eat, take a shower and go to sleep..
my reading time has decreased so much.. it some how seems my life just go on from one weekend ( here it's friday and Saturday not saturday and sunday...) to another...

[Riesa]

It's okay to whine once in a while. I think that the real reason women age is not because of time, but lack of beauty sleep, and constant pecking from the outside world. It sounds like you are taking on too much, can you downsize your activities? If not, maybe transcendental meditation would help!;)

[Logos]

Please try not to feel bad that you are `whining' or feeling guilty about your need for peace and quiet :) it's totally natural for some people (like me too) to need a lot of it. I know how hard it is to find it sometime in a busy day, but there is nothing wrong with making it a regular priority.

You've figured out what you need to stay `sane', not a lot of people can say that. Hopefully you can find a little peace everyday and treasure it, let yourself enjoy it when you do get it.

[Shea]

It's okay to whine once in a while. I think that the real reason women age is not because of time, but lack of beauty sleep, and constant pecking from the outside world. It sounds like you are taking on too much, can you downsize your activities? If not, maybe transcendental meditation would help!;)

I try to downsize my activities at least to change them to the things that I want to do, but responsibilities get in the way. Leo keeps pushing the fact that we have no money because I spent a month in England for my studies. If I'd known it was going to be this bad, I never would have gone. But at the same time, it was an awesome experience. So now, I'm working as much as I can to help offset the cost, and from his perspective I should be happy. I'm making money, being productive, keeping busy. He's a man. This is how he would feel if he were me. I can understand that, but he's having a hard time understanding me and seeing things from my perspective as a woman. So now, I just feel pressured. I want to make him happy, but I feel so worn out doing so.

Willow, that's what's happened to me. Only I tend to work weekends so I'm going from Wednesday to Wednesday (my day off).

Do you (you, as in anyone who feels like answering the question) ever feel like you need a therapist? When do people know that they need therapy?

[Logos]

oh yeah, and I would practically be a hermit too, I have no problem spending a lot of time alone :D I have very little patience at the best of times.

[Shea]

You've figured out what you need to stay `sane', not a lot of people can say that. Hopefully you can find a little peace everyday and treasure it, let yourself enjoy it when you do get it.

Thanks Logos.:)

[Logos]

Shea, one way to look at it is.. if it's a problem for you go see a counsellor. Or if you think its in the best interests that you and Leo go.

Often it seems that its other's problems with us that are such a concern, maybe you feel you need to change because Leo thinks you need to change?

[starrwriter]

You're married, you plan to have children and you miss solitude? Hmmmm ... Sounds like time to re-evaluate your life.

I agree with Sartre: "Hell is other people."

[rachel]

Shea,
it sounds to me like you are in the middle of a clinical depression, how you got that way I don't know. I would see someone and figure out what to do. If that is what is wrong it won't matter much what anyone says you won't be able to see past it.
If it is just a passing thing like Logos says you at least know your limitations and can work toward a workable solution.
You CAN have a marriage and children and still crave your peace. You just have to again find a way. Some people who are loners like me or like you and a million others, perhaps put aside some of the budget to go away in little increments, just a breather. I had a friend (passed away from illness) who was a perfectionist so she found a really good cleaning lady at a reasonable price to do her house a couple of times a week so she herself wasn't running about constantly doing housework, Others I know schedule alone time and take the phone off the hook and even get in the car or bus and go to a part of town no one knows them and just go into a nice restaurant or quaint little diner with a good book and have a long quiet meal. All these things can help one focus on what the problem really might be-not a people person-overworked or stressed-unhappy in one'slife.
I know it will work out for you. I will be praying for you.

[Shea]

Shea, one way to look at it is.. if it's a problem for you go see a counsellor. Or if you think its in the best interests that you and Leo go.

Often it seems that its other's problems with us that are such a concern, maybe you feel you need to change because Leo thinks you need to change?

It's partially Leo, but it also feels like it's society and Leo is sort of caught up in it. I've always felt like I've been born in the wrong time period. I'm frustrated that today's society expects me to have a career. I've always felt like my 'career' should be my home, and society and Leo make me feel so 'wrong' for thinking that way. When I suggested that I see a therapist to Leo tonight, all he heard was 'a lot of money' and suggested that I talk to my step-mom instead. He mentioned her rather than my birth-mom because she's had a carreer. There's a retired therapist that I go to church with, I wouldn't want to bother her for therapy, but maybe if I talk to her, she could convince Leo that it would be better. I am just so tired.

Thank you for your support everyone, and your prayers.

[Virgil]

Why can't you be a hermit?

Humanity wasn't made for it. At times we need our private space, but human interaction provides emotional, intellectual, and spiritual engagement. I think it's impossible to grow as a person without human interaction.

Here's another reason: So very little can be accomplished alone in life. Most great accomplishments were the result of the whole of a group of individuals being greater than the sum of the parts.

[Shea]

Why can't you be a hermit?

Humanity wasn't made for it. At times we need our private space, but human interaction provides emotional, intellectual, and spiritual engagement. I think it's impossible to grow as a person without human interaction.

Here's another reason: So very little can be accomplished alone in life. Most great accomplishments were the result of the whole of a group of individuals being greater than the sum of the parts.

Yeah, I know. Some of our greatest writers came out in groups. But what happens when you can't accomplish anything because humanity gets in the way. At work, people always compliment me because I'm all smiles and can be as sweet as pie. I hate that you don't get that in retail anymore so that's what I do. But though I'm smiles on the outside, I get frustrated because everyone is "gimie, gimie, gimie". The ones who spent the least are the one who want the best treatment, "I want that box..." "I want it wraped in that paper..." "you're other store had it on sale..." ("no they didn't!"). I'm just a shop girl. I just happen to be complaining during the Christmas season, I get this all year round. And it's not just retail. I hate going anywhere where there is a crowd of people because no one pays attention to what is going on around them. They walk right in front of you without so much as an "excuse me" or they drive as slow as they please in the passing lane during heavy traffic with no one in front of them because they haven't bothered to check their rear-veiw mirror to see that they have 10 cars trying to get around them. Cell phones are some of the worst. I heard all about some girl's mother geting a boil on her back lanced. People don't care! I feel like I'm the only one around my area that has humanity. Everyone else works off the superficial. That's why I keep coming back to this site. Nothing here is superficial. This is where I find humanity, but why should I have to be forced to find it on a computer screen. Why can't I find it when I step out my door?

I'm sorry, when I rant like this to Leo, he dosen't understand, thinks I'm overreacting, and it makes me feel worse.

[Virgil]

Sounds like you need a more challanging job. There is nothing worst then when a job is too easy, especially those that provide services. You're obviously very intellegent. I think you need to do something out of your comfort zone. I'm not recommending you change jobs, just look for something difficult to do. And think it through, emerse yourself in it, and try to accomplish something different. Even if it's in your spare time.

Don't get too mad at Leo. (I take it he's your boyfriend or husband.) When people complain about every day things it comes off as whining.

[rachel]

Shea,
I am serious, you need to see someone with great insight and compassion. One thing I have learned thru life is that you need to be in the right job since work takes up such a huge amount of a person's life.
If you are basically a loner as I am have you considered research work say in the college or university lab or for a lawyer so you can help him write his briefs which are so crucial to the outcome of any trial? You need a job that matches your personality type. I know of a woman who was a nanny to two children and kept house for this wealthy family for years. Then her own family started behaving like Leo, money and the prestige and necessity to have a 'real job' and be out in the public. So the woman quit and got educated and got a lucrative job. and nearly died from unhappiness. She then quit and went right back to doing what she had before and was sublimely happy.
And I know of a mechanic that went into law I believe and then went back to being a mechanic- that is where his heart was. Could you work evenings in a library. When I was Night Attendant I had to be in charge of 73 sick and dying elderly clients and do all the cleaning and reception and food prep for ten hour shifts It was unbelievably hard and I couldn't get a single person to even give me a break at holiday time for more than three straight days. But the payoff was I was completely alone there and myown boss. When I had time I sat and wrote or sang(no one could hear me-hearing aids turned down) or walked about thru the halls for excercise or just had a ten minute break here and there with a hot cup of something and a book. Before that I was on days and had to serve and talk to hundreds and I was sick in my stomach every day from nerves and shyness. Now I do nanny work once more and am writing for children, from the quiet of my own home.
Could you do transcription writing for hospitals from your computer at home? I would go and see a job counsellor and let him/her help you find work from home at least until you recover. You have been emotionally wounded somehow and need a break. Leo will just have to cut you some slack and realize you are not him. Love as the Bible says" does not look out for it's own interests." you have continually looked out for his and perhaps now he could do the same. I am betting he will if he understands the seriousness of your depression and exhaustion.

[Virgil]

Shea - I agree with Rachel's suggestions. You have to be happy at a job. It's at least one third of your life. When you go to heaven, do you want to tell all the other souls you basically wasted one third of it? That's kind of a silly analogy, but you know what I mean.

[starrwriter]

I'm sorry, when I rant like this to Leo, he dosen't understand, thinks I'm overreacting, and it makes me feel worse.
Ranting is good. Keeping things bottled up inside you is not healthy. Since Leo doesn't like it, rant all you want in the forum. We don't mind.

[rachel]

Starr is right and Virgil too. Just let it all out, as much as you feel comfortable with Shea, there is no judgement here. I can tell you I have gone thru similar and for me it was a combination of much too much work, absolutely no real rest or even change of pace, illness and not enough sunshine and fresh air with excercise It hit me all at once and the sleep deprivation that preceded it got worse. So I went to an herbalist I trusted, told him I th ought I was flipping out. He assured me I wasn't and gave me stuff to cleanse my body from the fatigue(toxins) and illness. Then things seemed a little clearer. I had no one to talk to so I wrote my feelings down, and wrote and wrote.I started walking like I always had before my plate got too full and that helped immensely. And then I became well enough to make wise decisions and changes. And that really helped turn things around. My prayers are with you. You WILL get thru this and come out on the other side. And for what it is worth, you have a ton of friends on this forum rooting for you. A lot of people cannot say the same.

[Scheherazade]

Samaritans (http://www.befrienders.org/helplines/usa/florida.php)

[RobinHood3000]

For once, I agree with starr. Feel free to vent on us, Shea--that's what we're here for.

[Anon22]

Ranting is good. Keeping things bottled up inside you is not healthy. Since Leo doesn't like it, rant all you want in the forum. We don't mind.


You see, it's quite the opposite for me. Took 4 years for me to finally make friends. I remember the old days when my dad, my mom, my sister, and brother were together. I had 2 friends, and it was all fun, I bragged about my intelligence, my art, we played games, even though we never really went to each other's house. Eventually 4th grade came, a friend of mine was moving. I was hoping that he would call but he never did. Now I had just 1 friend(well, from school, I did have other friends, but they just were from other schools). By the end of 4th grade though it came the time for me to move too. During the summer we moved to another house(4 hours away). I tried making friends, but I just never managed to. So for the rest of 5th grade I was alone. Sixth grade came, and I still had no friends. By the end of sixth grade I rarely talked, and during english, when I had to give a speech, my voice became all shaky. Eventually by the end of sixth grade I had lost the ability to talk. My father started to leave the country and basically it was just my mother, my sister, and my brother(my brother rarely talks to me though and can sometimes get quite rude, well now he's a lot kinder). Then came the summer, for some reason I (think) I lost my confidence during the summer. I felt a strong doubt within me, an emptiness within my soul(like I couldn't do anything). Then, while I was at summer camp, with a friend of mine(who lives where I used to live, I stayed over her house for the summer, like I said, 4 hours away), I realized I couldn't do the things I could do before, like dodge the ball while playing dodge ball, before I could dodge at extreme speed, but after that feeling came I couldn't, I felt like I couldn't do anything(physically).

Seventh grade began, I stopped bragging about my intelligence as at that point I came to the realization that there were of course smarter people(I hate that, it now makes me feel as if I was a jerk before) even though, I always tried being kind. I started reading fiction books at that point(well, I kind of had to read fiction in the year before because of the AR program thingy). That year I also became aware of the things I shouldn't be aware of, things humans shouldn't be aware of. Things the body does subconciously. By that point I became extremely quiet. So quiet that sometimes I got these strange pains around my arms and didn't say anything at all. So quiet that I never told anyone how unhealthy I felt, once I actually felt like I was about to faint during science class but didn't say anything(that eventually stopped though), I felt that I could prevent it if I tapped my foot and stayed alert. My father was never there, now he started living with his mom(my grandmother) in the other country. My mother worked pretty much 24/7, my sister was in college and so was my brother, I was basically alone. I guess you could say I made friends, but I don't know, they never really felt friends to me, more of just acquantances, besides, my mom expects me to hang out with good people, and prejudges people sometimes. Once my sister brought over this friend, and my mom just said she didn't like him(or rather he scared her a little), just because of his background(even though he was kind), perhaps if she had gotten to know him... It's not that she's mean or anything, its just that she thinks that depending on the background, people tend to act differently(I got to admit, it is kind of true).

So I knew that she could never accept my new "friends", I just kind of hung out with them, but they weren't really my type either. So in a way I was alone but not really alone. By the end of seventh grade I could no longer talk at all, I became shy and timid, my interest in reading became reading dark type writing, I had completely lost self-confidence, was basically alone most of the time, and eventually chose to try not to make friends(partially because of my mom), and could not stop tapping my foot. Also I started hanging out online, I guess it was the only thing I could do. Half-way through eighth grade I became more concious of my swallowing. I eventually lost the ability to swallow correctly and started to swallow voluntarily. My parents got a divorce(which I don't mind, it's their decision not mine, whatever makes them happy), my eyesight(which was once keen) started to go away, my sister was away most of the time, and my brother was sometimes there but never talked to me.

My want to talk became greater, but my mouth wouldn't let me. I just felt like I couldn't, and I eventually actually started to cry during the night, to embarassed to cry during the day afraid that my brother might catch me(I eventually started to cry often too). I wanted friends, but my new nature just wouldn't let me make friends. Once again I guess you could say that I did make friends, but that relationship never developed(due to my nature) any further than acquantances. Sometimes I realized the way I walk, and for some reason felt awkward, but that never became permanent, it just happened every now and then. I guess no one really wanted to hang out with me. I knew that if I wanted friends I needed to talk, but couldn't. By the end of that year, everything was basically the same. I was still timid, forgotten how to swallow correctly(and yes, I guess you could say my breathing), my eyesight became more worn out (I still didn't wear glasses though), I became more jealous of my past life and wished I could just turn back the sands of time. I also felt like I became more forgetful, but that was really during that summer after sixth grade where I realize I tended to forget a couple of stuff more often.

Now, well... now I'm in high school... embarassed by the fact that I still can't swallow correctly and I'm still timid. Yet, nevertheless, this year I actually have made friends. I don't really feel alone anymore, but I still don't talk that much, and sometimes I can't help but feel like a guy that just hangs around with them, whose just there but doesn't really mean anything. I guess its going better than my last couple of years as people actually talk to me now, but sometimes, when I swallow voluntarily I can't help but feel nervous of choking... which is why I also feel a little more accelerated, and well... embarassed, and also embarassed of the fact of how I tap my foot and well, ever since seventh I've felt simply accelerated. My mom just worries to much about me and I hate that, but I can't tell her that. She actually worries about me walking 1 block, and every once in a while she makes me very impatient. I can't really take away that realization of my body though, sometimes I realize I'm blinking and blink voluntarily, it goes away though. Anyhow, I'm guess I'm good now that I have friends. Every time I feel seperated from them though, well... I just feel lonely again and those feelings rush back. I'm sure I'll be able to handle that though. Writing is now really the way I vent things. I can't help but wonder what will happen in the future. There's one thing I can't stand though, and that's the fact that I've wasted 4 years of my life. Four years that I shall never get back.

[Anon22]

You know, I shouldn't make this topic be about me, I'm sorry. I just felt like I needed to vent that. First time I actually ever told anyone about those 4 years. Anyhow, I know a good way to be alone. Learning how to lucid dream. Dreaming is too a big portion of your life, so if you can lucid dream, well... it's your dream and that'd be some time to yourself. You could try resting on a cloud or something. Of course, you'd have to learn how to LD first

[Shea]

Thank you everyone!! and thank you for the link Scher. I'd never heard of the Samaritans before. I'm feeling a bit better since I've vented (everyone, thanks again so much!). And I think I've come to a couple of decisions. I'll see my family doctor. I know that what I really need is more "me" time, I've been so used to always having it because of study, that it's sort of a shock to me that my life is "people swollen" you could say. Leo doesn't understand this and I don't think he will unless he hears it from a trusted professional.

Rachel, its funny you mentioned the working from home, because that's exactly what's been running through my mind the last couple of days. Problem is, Leo will think that my particular degree and especially my trip to England will have been a waste of money, but lets see what the doctor has to say. One of the young mothers I go to church with is training for medical transcription, I wasn't going to look into it until we were seriously planning our family, but I think I will now.

Thank you all again!

[Virgil]

You know, I shouldn't make this topic be about me, I'm sorry. I just felt like I needed to vent that. First time I actually ever told anyone about those 4 years. Anyhow, I know a good way to be alone. Learning how to lucid dream. Dreaming is too a big portion of your life, so if you can lucid dream, well... it's your dream and that'd be some time to yourself. You could try resting on a cloud or something. Of course, you'd have to learn how to LD first


Digital -

This topic can be about you too. I'm no Dear Abby, but if my age has given me any insight I'd be glad to given you advice.

First your swallowing and your eyesight. These sound like medical problems. Please have your mother or father take you to a doctor for an examination. The swallowing sounds dangerous and should be immediately looked at.

As to your shyness, lots of boys your age are shy. I was. I had trouble getting up in front of a class in high school and college. But now I get up in front of groups all the time. My voice still occaisionaly cracks but I take a breath and go with what I want to say. Don't let your shyness make you a hermit. You say somewhere you now have some friends, and I take it you are happy about that. Friendship is life's most important drive; humans are basically pack animals. Being a hermit is unnatural. If you get a chance, read Dicken's Great Expectation and look how friendship helps Pip throughout the novel. Over time your personality will come out of your shell. I expect you will one day be as talkative as Opra Winfrey. You can be. These traits are not doomed to stay with you. What you can't see from the perspective of your age and I see from the perspective of mine (44 years old) is that our personalities are not fixed entities. Even you say how you have changed in four years. Just think how different you'll be in 10-15 years? I think the key is being conscious of what you currently think is a limitation and applying yourself to overcoming it. Now it won't happen to you overnight, but years have a way of molding you.

[Pensive]

Hey Shea, Now I am seeing your problem, you might feel that our women (Pakistani) women are better in this way. They gets married, they don't work usually, especially in middle and upper class. It is thought bad for a husband that his wife is working and getting money. AFTERALL a man is supposed to afford his wife and children.

But if you see by other perspective, you will see the problems here, which are even greater. Women have no self-respect. Many are treated like slaves, beaten by their husbands, fathers and brothers.

Now you can see, what will you choose? I will say that be contend with what you are. See, you are here, sharing your problems with us but here in our society most of the women are not allowed to do so. Hey Shea, I don't mean that if you are not happy with your job, you should not struggle for what you want but if you can compromise with it, you should. Don't kill you heart but see the conditions around you.

That was Pensy's little speech. *winks*

[baddad]

Shea my pet....two things: we humans posess a sense that is ABSOLUTELY reliable. Its exact physical location has never been charted, and its existence is often hotly debated. But I never question. I believe. Within us is a repository of answers to every question we have ever asked ourselves, as far as controls and decisions directing our own lives is concerned. Do I need a therapist? Only you know. And you absolutely know the right answer. Your 'little voice' probably has told you, maybe many times. But only you can hear its truth. Act upon it. Never, throughout all of life, doubt the voice. And Never, ever, ignore your inner voice. YOu do so at your own peril. Sometimes the clutter of life attempts to drown out this voice. Find a quiet moment, a peaceful place. And listen...........and then act without fear, or fear of a lack of understanding from others. You'll always know what the 'right' thing to do, is. The source is primal, experienced. Listen to it. Have a little faith.

Thing two: I might be speaking for many others when I say that I feel privelaged you would share your soul with us, your fears and loves and doubts, your art and beauty and thoughts so light.........and this will never change. There is no whining. I have a few tears for you and wish you well....
........here.....have a big warm and embracing HUG..............M.

[Koa]

I understand the things cos I also love solitude, I think I am an individualists, I like to do things my way and crowds tend to drive me crazy to the point of aggressiveness sometimes... I relate to what Willow said, but I actually have mixed feelings... I hate it when I'm at home with no job nor studies, I feel useless cos I am not productive and I waste my time online or reading... But then the times I've worked I've mostly had jobs I didn't like, so I felt proud of not being at home wasting my life, but at the same time unhappy about not doing things I enjoy like waste my life online and reading and stuff...

As for the therapist thing, some times in my life I have considered the idea (for totally different reasons from yours tho), but I don't believe in 'doctors' and such things so I never did... so I think that you should first try to do something yourself... Like, some kind of change...oh I don't know, it's also easy to think of doing something great and crazy like change job or run away to Patagonia, but it's not always possible nor easy... Though if your husband doesn't listen to you, I'm sort of worried...what is he there for then? (omg don't want to sound harsh nor judging things I don't know and are not my business, but everytime I've been really down I thought things would have been easier if I had had 'someone' by my side...)

[Anon22]

Digital -

This topic can be about you too. I'm no Dear Abby, but if my age has given me any insight I'd be glad to given you advice.

First your swallowing and your eyesight. These sound like medical problems. Please have your mother or father take you to a doctor for an examination. The swallowing sounds dangerous and should be immediately looked at.

As to your shyness, lots of boys your age are shy. I was. I had trouble getting up in front of a class in high school and college. But now I get up in front of groups all the time. My voice still occaisionaly cracks but I take a breath and go with what I want to say. Don't let your shyness make you a hermit. You say somewhere you now have some friends, and I take it you are happy about that. Friendship is life's most important drive; humans are basically pack animals. Being a hermit is unnatural. If you get a chance, read Dicken's Great Expectation and look how friendship helps Pip throughout the novel. Over time your personality will come out of your shell. I expect you will one day be as talkative as Opra Winfrey. You can be. These traits are not doomed to stay with you. What you can't see from the perspective of your age and I see from the perspective of mine (44 years old) is that our personalities are not fixed entities. Even you say how you have changed in four years. Just think how different you'll be in 10-15 years? I think the key is being conscious of what you currently think is a limitation and applying yourself to overcoming it. Now it won't happen to you overnight, but years have a way of molding you.


Thanks, I guess I'll do that. Even though, I'm actually glad that that happened, if it hadn't... I wouldn't be who I am today. Every single event in our lives, ever single problem makes us who we are. So if it were Thanksgiving today, all I would have to say is I thank all our problems and tragedies for making us who we are. I bet you though my mind would've "broken to pieces" if I hadn't been optimistic at all, everyday I kept telling myself that this is just another year of my life and is nothing compared to the many years I might live. On the other hand though, another way I handled my problem is to think of the negative, I thought of bad stuff happening so much, that right then and there my life didn't seem so terrible(thus my view in that "what'sitcalled?" topic). Shea, to you I just have to say, don't let everyone around you make you want to be a hermit, it's not good. I can see how one can get tired of ones life so easily(especially once one reaches the age of 30). I, considering the fact I never really had much friends, have become flexible in what I like, I don't mind anything nowadays, if someone wants to play "this game" I'll play it, if someone wants to hear music, I'll listen, because I know that they're there. How does this fit with your problem? well, if you hear a cell phone, is there business, if you hear people talk, let them, if you have kids, don't let them make you want to be alone, love them(which I know you probably do), if you have friends at work, let them talk to you. Think, optimistically, your life's not over yet.

[Virgil]

Very good Digital. Feel free to bounce things off me if you like.


Also

everyday I kept telling myself that this is just another year of my life and is nothing compared to the many years I might live.

The diffence between our ages is almost 30 years. That's almost double the amount of time you've been around. That's a lot of years for one to develop. And even me, at 44, I have a long way to further develop as well, perhaps God willing, another 44 years. At your age that must seem like forever.

[rachel]

Digital,
Listen to Virgil. I beg you get to a doctor about your swallowing. And for your eyesight as well. You are labouring under terrible circumstances and need help, a break that could very well change your life for the better in many ways.
Perhaps your parents are really busy and haven't noticed you need help, but you do and if they for some reason can't go to see a trusted someone who can point the way and help you along.Like a good teacher or mentor or relation. Some one, don't let this go another week. please.
Baddad as usual if full of gentle wisdom. wonderful to 'hear' your beautiful voice on this thread.
Dear Koa, it is true that we who are more free need to count our blessings. But perhaps Shea has been in a prison in many ways or if not a prison, in a disadvantaged situation just as horrible and painful as you and many of your lovely ladies. All is grievous but if one does have an option surely one must take advantage. I am sure you would if you could or your friends and that would be wonderful. Shea has to get help or how then can she help others and reach her awesome potential?

[Shea]

Okay, Scher gave me some advice that I wasn't going to absolutely take, but after thinking about it some more, I did anyway. Baddad, my 'inner voice' has been telling me what I need to fix my problem, but I've been ignoring it because it conflicts with 'Leo's voice'. I really don't want to see a doctor because the last thing I want is to get caught up in people telling me I have to take a drug (Leo has been freely suggesting this). My 'inner voice' is that I need enough alone time, even to work, in order to feel myself again. Instead of waiting for the doctor, I brought out my work from home plan tonight at dinner. It was hard. I had difficulty getting Leo to take in all the info instead of just latching on to "I don't want to teach right now", and zoning out the rest of my words. Like I said, he saw my degree and trip to England as a complete waste of money. Finally, I got him to understand that I still very much want to teach, I just don't think I am ready for it at this point in my life. When we both calmed down, and he was able to see my side of things a bit better, we called my next-door neighbor who works from home for a mortgage company and asked her some questions. She also knew quite a lot about transcription and billing from home too. It appears at this point that transcription looks very good. I'm familiar with a lot of medical terminology anyway, and because it's pay by the word, I can also substitute teach part-time. Right now, I've just got to make it through the holiday season. But having even a plan to look into helps a lot.

Digital, I didn't have a best-friend until the sixth grade. When we got into high-school, she tried to get me to smoke pot and I refused. We didn't really fight about it, we just drifted apart because we didn't have anything in common anymore. I've never really kept many close friends either, other than Leo (I know, this thread makes him out to be a monster, but he really isn't; he's just stubborn on some issues). I've had close friends here and there, but for some reason or other we just drift apart. I don't think that being a loner is an altogether bad thing, it's just you, like you said. If I hadn't been more of a loner and followed my first best friend, I doubt I would even have my degree (especially with my family's history with drugs).

And anyone can vent as much as they want in my thread, it certainly has been helping me!

[rachel]

Never be ashamed of who you are Shea, never let others bend you. I know many people who are very well adjusted loving people, people that are fun to be with but choose to be alone a lot of the time because that is their make up. The Bible says that God "puts the solitary into families" because really no one is meant to be completely alone. That is a bad thing. But the degree of companionship from other humans differs in each person. In our family Travis, Clayton and I need a lot of alone time to write and pray and think and just calm our thoughts. Desiree and baby Hasia are far more social and yet they too need quiet time. Each person is different.
You WILL use all your skills in your own business or in transcription and nothing will be wasted.
Another thing you can do is write awesome informative fun books for youth the age you wanted to teach and do it from their point of view. You can incorporate your love of language and Tolkien and teach kids things the classroom doesn't have the time to teach. You can be a mentor in learning thru books. There is no end of possibilities.
You will find your niche. Leo has to understand this. I love the dialogue between Charlie Bucket from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and his paternal grandfather. Charlie, poorer than poor in material things but unbelievably wealthy in love and fellowship from his parents and grandparents has miraculously at the last moment won the last coveted golden ticket which will enable him to visit the factory and see Willi Wonka for one whole day. It is what his heart wants more than anything. But he tells his grandpa Joe who had worked for Wonka and desires one last visit that he will sell his ticket instead. The other grandfather tells him that money is being made everyday, it will always be there but there are only five golden tickets in the whole wide world and only a dummy would choose the money. And in the end Charlie gets the factory and all the money he could wish for anyway.
Leo will be okay but you have to stand your ground and do what you know in your heart you were meant to do. Go against the tide if needs be. Even Tolkiens fellows at the university were uncomfortable with his writing a Faerie Story and thought him a bit odd and were even embarrassed and didn't read his books at first. But we don't remember their names only his.

[Shea]

Rachel, you are a wonderful fountain of inspiration! Thank you so much for your caring words.

I have actually been thinking of trying to take up writing again. We'll see...

[Shea]

Here is one example of why I want to crawl away from people.

This morning a woman came to buy some gifts. She liked a cookie set and it happened to be the last one. She was going to ship it and I don't normally offer to wrap in paper because it takes so long, but she was the only customer we had at the time so why not? I was getting ready to size the paper, and she asked me if I could wrap it in tissue first. I wanted so badly to ask with an incredulous tone, "Why, what good would that do?" But instead I smiled and said that it probably wouldn't be a good idea and I fumbled over some kind of an excuse like the paper being too stiff or something. After all, I was trying to be nice by doing her a favor in the first place. When I wrapped it, I made up for the lack of tissue by cross-tying the ribbon around it and making an extra fluffy curly bow on the top. But then, after fussing over her other gifts, she changed her mind about that first cookie gift and didn't want it after all! I know my smile faltered for half a second, and I said, "Oh, that's quite alright!" meanwhile an image of my scissors going up her nose flashed briefly through my mind. Talk about nerve! It might have been fine if it had been some of the more good-natured customers that I had today, but she was just so demanding!

Another thing, does anyone else get frustrated when people tap your shoulder or nudge you to get your attention? It annoys me to no end and I don't know why! I'm perfectly fine if someone pats my shoulder to say hello or tell me I did a good job, but for some reason if you just want my attention, I would much rather you say my name. Why is that?

[samercury]

Tapping on the shoulder :cold:...it really bugs me, A LOT!!!!

[Riesa]

I think it's demeaning to tap someone on the shoulder if you don't know them and they are in a service position. Makes me think of a certain type of person, who cut you off while driving or if you let them go in front of you they will not give a thank you wave, just keep talking on their cell's while the world kneels around them. Rather annoying. People who don't respect that invisible area around you; ones personal space, extremely irritating.

[kilted exile]

Here is one example of why I want to crawl away from people.

This morning a woman came to buy some gifts. She liked a cookie set and it happened to be the last one. She was going to ship it and I don't normally offer to wrap in paper because it takes so long, but she was the only customer we had at the time so why not? I was getting ready to size the paper, and she asked me if I could wrap it in tissue first. I wanted so badly to ask with an incredulous tone, "Why, what good would that do?" But instead I smiled and said that it probably wouldn't be a good idea and I fumbled over some kind of an excuse like the paper being too stiff or something. After all, I was trying to be nice by doing her a favor in the first place. When I wrapped it, I made up for the lack of tissue by cross-tying the ribbon around it and making an extra fluffy curly bow on the top. But then, after fussing over her other gifts, she changed her mind about that first cookie gift and didn't want it after all! I know my smile faltered for half a second, and I said, "Oh, that's quite alright!" meanwhile an image of my scissors going up her nose flashed briefly through my mind. Talk about nerve! It might have been fine if it had been some of the more good-natured customers that I had today, but she was just so demanding!


Ok, I have a story, with regards to customer service, which may cheer you up. In order to make some extra cash whilst at college I worked at a coffee shop (yep, Tim Hortons). One sunday morning I was working at the drive-thru station, it got to about 12:30 and then got extremely busy with people stopping in on their way home from church. I attempted to be polite, despite the fact that all the customers had no idea what they wanted. Eventually, however I snapped and swore at one the customers through the speaker. Then I removed my headset, handed it to the owner and walked away. I found a job working in a hardware store instead where I didnt have to deal with the public as much.

[Riesa]

Ok, I have a story, with regards to customer service, which may cheer you up. In order to make some extra cash whilst at college I worked at a coffee shop (yep, Tim Hortons). One sunday morning I was working at the drive-thru station, it got to about 12:30 and then got extremely busy with people stopping in on their way home from church. I attempted to be polite, despite the fact that all the customers had no idea what they wanted. Eventually, however I snapped and swore at one the customers through the speaker. Then I removed my headset, handed it to the owner and walked away. I found a job working in a hardware store instead where I didnt have to deal with the public as much.

Why can't I be you?

[Virgil]

meanwhile an image of my scissors going up her nose flashed briefly through my mind. Talk about nerve! It might have been fine if it had been some of the more good-natured customers that I had today, but she was just so demanding!


Here's a story that Shea might appreciate. It's been years since it happened but her story made it come to mind.

When I was in college, I worked in a supermarket in the produce department. I had a manager, Mike, who just couldn't take customers. Obviously he was in the wrong line of work and eventually was demoted. But we had this custmer, an elderly man who could barely see. He was close to blindness. He was a royal pain in the butt!! He would make things fall down, complain about every little thing, make you repackage stuff, hound you for the freshest stuff that was not out for display yet. And it seemed like he came into the store every day. Well, one day he asks for a package of strawberries to be rewrapped in celofane. Obviously he had taken the best ones from several packages and put them into one. Mike was not an emotional guy, but he was a frustrated person. He thought through his revenge. Mike takes the package to the back, lifts up the top stawberries, spits a big glob of phlegm into the package, puts the top strawberries back in, and then celofane wraps it and gives it to the old man. That's not the end of the story. A few days later, the man is back, and stops Mike to talk to him. He thanks Mike for the delicious strawberries he gave him. He says they were as sweet as sugar, so delicious he didn't even bother to wash them! Me and Mike had to run into the back room and burst into laughter until tears came down.

All I can say is, thank God you held back your scissors.

[kilted exile]

Why can't I be you?

Because then I would have to be someone else.

[Anon22]

Here's a story that Shea might appreciate. It's been years since it happened but her story made it come to mind.

When I was in college, I worked in a supermarket in the produce department. I had a manager, Mike, who just couldn't take customers. Obviously he was in the wrong line of work and eventually was demoted. But we had this custmer, an elderly man who could barely see. He was close to blindness. He was a royal pain in the butt!! He would make things fall down, complain about every little thing, make you repackage stuff, hound you for the freshest stuff that was not out for display yet. And it seemed like he came into the store every day. Well, one day he asks for a package of strawberries to be rewrapped in celofane. Obviously he had taken the best ones from several packages and put them into one. Mike was not an emotional guy, but he was a frustrated person. He thought through his revenge. Mike takes the package to the back, lifts up the top stawberries, spits a big glob of phlegm into the package, puts the top strawberries back in, and then celofane wraps it and gives it to the old man. That's not the end of the story. A few days later, the man is back, and stops Mike to talk to him. He thanks Mike for the delicious strawberries he gave him. He says they were as sweet as sugar, so delicious he didn't even bother to wash them! Me and Mike had to run into the back room and burst into laughter until tears came down.

All I can say is, thank God you held back your scissors.

You see, I'd never be capable of doing that. It's just too mean for me to do... the poor guy... I don't care how demanding he might've been (or how delicious the strawberries might've been to him)... I still pity him.

[RobinHood3000]

Shoulder Angel: Poor soul.

Shoulder Devil: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!


I wonder, though...could the old guy have been jerking your chain?

[Virgil]

You see, I'd never be capable of doing that. It's just too mean for me to do... the poor guy... I don't care how demanding he might've been (or how delicious the strawberries might've been to him)... I still pity him.
Oh, I agree with you. It wasn't me.

From Robin
I wonder, though...could the old guy have been jerking your chain?
No. I'm afraid not.

[Nightshade]

Weve had a few people in the library who have got nasty with me. And I dont think Ive ever yelled at them yet there was most glaring ly the woman who threw the book across the deskl at m so it hit me in the chest then accused me of dilberatly doing it all wrong all becasue the computers went funny and were slow and misreading her card.
I would have like to hit her but I didnt which made me proud and then when she left everyone came running over to me to ignore her and not to take it personally theyve had issues with her before. Luckily for me Ive had too many runins with bullies to get insulted enough to lose my temper which would have been a bad thing.
:D ((g))

[Shea]

Kilted, I did that once, except for the swearing. Only I got mad at the girl who was training me at a restaruant. It was 1 in the morning on Saturday (by that time Sunday), I wanted to go to church that morning, but she was telling me all the tasks I had to complete before going home. But instead of helping me clean, she was standing off talking to a friend who came in that night! I didn't get past the training.

We had another customer earlier this season on whom poetic justice was given. We'd gotten in these cute cosmetic bags that matched the packaging on certain lines (I work for a soap and lotions store). They came in about two days before she arrived, and she liked the one made of suede. But she wanted one from the back because she didn't want to buy "an old display" (they had just come in, it was brand-new!). My boss lied to her because she didn't like her attitude and said that we were all sold out. What did she wind up buying? A bag that we had left over from last year!

Night, if someone threw something at me at this point, I'd probably throw it back at them.

Reisa, it's not just the customers tapping that annoys me, it's my own co-workers. Leo used to do that to me in the car if he wanted me to see something. I wound up tapping him back really hard and missing what it was he wanted me to see, so he tries not to do it anymore. I've been good about ignoring it of my co-workers, but my first impulse is to want to smack their hand. As they're all at least 30 years older than me, I don't think that would be appropriate.

[Riesa]

Because then I would have to be someone else.



:cool: MO ROBAIRNEACH GAOLACH

[kilted exile]

:cool: MO ROBAIRNEACH GAOLACH

hahahaha.....I believe the only other person to refer to me as a "dear, smart boy (Mo robairneach gaolach)" is my gran.

[Virgil]

Weve had a few people in the library who have got nasty with me. And I dont think Ive ever yelled at them yet there was most glaring ly the woman who threw the book across the deskl at m so it hit me in the chest then accused me of dilberatly doing it all wrong all becasue the computers went funny and were slow and misreading her card.
I would have like to hit her but I didnt which made me proud and then when she left everyone came running over to me to ignore her and not to take it personally theyve had issues with her before. Luckily for me Ive had too many runins with bullies to get insulted enough to lose my temper which would have been a bad thing.
:D ((g))

My advice: It's nver wise to retaliate physically. If words are spoken, you should speak back. If something violent is done to you, first defend yourself if the threat is immenent and if not call security. A service job requires patience and deference for the customer. But if customers cross the line, it's best to just quietly back away without a scene. I don't advocate what my old boss did to that fellow. If I couldn't emotionally deal with him on that particular day, I would have disappeared and somehow ignored him.

[Nightshade]

security? what security! we dont have any although we do have a personal panic button in the back room that I could press I suppose........
And we someone who was apparantly drugged up (whats the word high?) wondered in and sat down and went to sleep I was just told to stay away from that corner and if there should be any major issue this is the number for the police.

[Weeping Willow]

When i worked at the cinema in the begining of this year i started as a Doorman before moving to the snack bar.
Wow that was teribble, every friday evening all the little kids came to watch movies..
Dear lord how much noise they did.. i can't remember one friday that some adult didn't came out complaining for noise..
My luck was that with me worked another Doorman and he was i think like 60 years old so he didn't mind going in and shout at the kids he even once threw some of them out :)..... that were some bad times....
Luckly now i work in a job that dosen't require serving customers,,
Thank god!

[Virgil]

Service jobs are tough. I must admit I was rude yesterday at the butcher. He was down to one item of something on the shelf and I took it up to see if he had more. He was on the phone talking, but I was in a rush so I waved the item so he could see it and said, "no more." He stopped his conversation and yelled at me saying he was on the phone. Not only that, around him were a bunch of older ladies arguing and fighting for place in line. It was hectic and I didn't make matters better. I apologized after.

[Weeping Willow]

I agree.. service jobs are hard.... you must know you can control yourself otherwise you might burst out on someone and that will be bad......

[Weeping Willow]

Shea i hope you don't mind but i'm going to use your proposel for venting out on your thread... sorry...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA :flare:

Why???? Why are there stupid people!! why!!!!!!!!
I guess even when your not working in a service job people in your own workplace can be so stupid!!! and annoying!!!!! :mad:
There is one guy at my work place and he has a problam... he always hug people and talks to them as if they were 2 year old babys
( you know the talk..)
AAAAA !!
Today he huged me again for the 2342345325 billion time after i told him to stop so i just snapt! :mad:..
I told him to leave me alone... and he of course ignored me but went away so i cooled of...
Then 2 hours later he did that again.. this time i really lost it.. i told him
and i quote " don't touch me or i'll brake a chair on your head"...
I don't know what came over me but it just happened.. i'm not a violent person and of course
i can't even fight with him because he's way stronger then me...
Any how he looked at me.. and asked what i was going to do .. so i said
" man i'm serious if you don't take your hand off my back it would cause an explosion, maybe not a violent one
because i know you can beat me up but some kind of explosion"...
Then he looked at me and said " ok i forgive you " ..
I wanted to kill him!!! :rage:
But i just kept looking at the computer until he left...
:mad:
I hope he got the clue because if he's going to do it again tommorow i'm just going to my boss...
I don't care if they'll fire him... he just crossed my red line....
Brrrr....
Once again sorry for all the mad smilis..
he just really made me angry...

[Virgil]

Willow, I hate people like that. You even know he's doing it on purpose. He's playing with your head. I think you did the right thing rebelling back. If he does it again you should go to your boss. Actually fighting back could get you into trouble, and you would be the one to lose the job. But if you want it to stop, you can't let it go unchallenged.

[Shea]

Vent away Willow! It certainly has helped me. Virgil's right, it's better to go to the boss.

I'm so relieved, I have the morning off tomorrow. I've been around people almost 24/7 for nearly 2 weeks now. It didn't really help that we spent Christmas with Leo's family this year (he has 5 older sisters and 18 neices and nephews).

[Shea]

Last week, I didn't leave the house for 4 days. I still don't want to be around people. My smile is rusty and I sat for an hour the other night watching my spoon rock in my teacup. I didn't leave the house yesterday, and I still don't want to leave the house today. At least I can pasify Leo with the excuse that I have to study for my teaching exam.

But I've still been in a mood. I went ahead and made that doctor's appointment, but I really want to stay away from taking a pill.

[RobinHood3000]

Music Here (http://www.jaminsjazz.com/FCS%20Classes/Audio/Tarzan.mp3)

I find this song to be rather uplifting--not exactly inspirational, but rather enjoyable and just the trick to cheer one up. I hope it helps...

[emily655321]

My want to talk became greater, but my mouth wouldn't let me. I just felt like I couldn't, and I eventually actually started to cry during the night, to embarassed to cry during the day afraid that my brother might catch me(I eventually started to cry often too). I wanted friends, but my new nature just wouldn't let me make friends. Once again I guess you could say that I did make friends, but that relationship never developed(due to my nature) any further than acquantances. Sometimes I realized the way I walk, and for some reason felt awkward, but that never became permanent, it just happened every now and then. I guess no one really wanted to hang out with me. I knew that if I wanted friends I needed to talk, but couldn't. By the end of that year, everything was basically the same. I was still timid, forgotten how to swallow correctly(and yes, I guess you could say my breathing), my eyesight became more worn out (I still didn't wear glasses though), I became more jealous of my past life and wished I could just turn back the sands of time. I also felt like I became more forgetful, but that was really during that summer after sixth grade where I realize I tended to forget a couple of stuff more often.Digital, you have major depression. (Yeah, I'm diagnosing it just like that. I have it, too.) I've never heard of it starting at such a young age, but that's what it is. Unexplainable aches and pains, and other symptoms similar to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (your heightened awareness of involuntary bodily functions seems leaning in that direction) are actually very common in depression. And also, people often go to a doctor thinking the symptoms are purely physical, and the doctor will tell them nothing's wrong—or worse, attempt to treat them for something entirely different,—and the psychological illness goes unnoticed. My advice to you is to definitely not see a doctor about the physical symptoms. See a therapist, who can recommend you to a psychiatrist. They usually like to pump you full of drugs that don't do anything (at least in my experience), but at least you'll be more aware of what's going on, and those around you will know something is wrong, which is arguably the most valuable aspect of an official diagnosis. You won't feel so alone, I promise. If it's come about this early, you'll probably be sad for a long time, probably always a little bit more than other people. But you won't feel quite as alone.


(I work for a soap and lotions store)Shea, me too! I wish I had been following this thread in December! I went practically nutty at work. And, perhaps there's a certain type of person who comes into a store like that, because as soon as I find another job, I'm quitting! It's privately owned, too, and the owners are so snooty and fake, and they actually seem to like the fact that all the customers are so... "rich customer-y." How can you define it? "I'm better than you in every way, so you'd better kiss my *** and say it tastes like ice cream." One evening I almost lost it because a very snooty woman stayed in the store long after closing (we're not allowed to tell people to leave when it's closing time, even if we have to be somewhere else), and apologized for doing so, bought a ton of things, and then asked to have them all wrapped! I very politely said, "I'm afraid it's a little late for that." Her head whipped around and she gave me the icy-cold-stare-of-death. Luckily, there was another woman working, and she said quickly, "Oh, that's all right, we can do it. Emily, you can go home." So I left, and the next day the other woman told me the lady had flipped out about how "You just don't talk to customers that way!" :eek:

Well, I learned my lesson. And that lesson is, I don't matter as a human being. Fortunately, that's a philosophy I've just very recently exorcised from myself, so I don't give a damn. :p I'm quitting, those *******. I'm trying to find a job as a dishwasher. At least I won't have to deal with the public.

[Shea]

Shea, me too! I wish I had been following this thread in December! I went practically nutty at work. And, perhaps there's a certain type of person who comes into a store like that, because as soon as I find another job, I'm quitting! It's privately owned, too, and the owners are so snooty and fake, and they actually seem to like the fact that all the customers are so... "rich customer-y." How can you define it? "I'm better than you in every way, so you'd better kiss my *** and say it tastes like ice cream." One evening I almost lost it because a very snooty woman stayed in the store long after closing (we're not allowed to tell people to leave when it's closing time, even if we have to be somewhere else), and apologized for doing so, bought a ton of things, and then asked to have them all wrapped! I very politely said, "I'm afraid it's a little late for that." Her head whipped around and she gave me the icy-cold-stare-of-death. Luckily, there was another woman working, and she said quickly, "Oh, that's all right, we can do it. Emily, you can go home." So I left, and the next day the other woman told me the lady had flipped out about how "You just don't talk to customers that way!" :eek:

Well, I learned my lesson. And that lesson is, I don't matter as a human being. Fortunately, that's a philosophy I've just very recently exorcised from myself, so I don't give a damn. :p I'm quitting, those *******. I'm trying to find a job as a dishwasher. At least I won't have to deal with the public.

I've got to let people hang around the store after closing too. But at least my boss is on my side about snooty people (your description was quite apropriate!), I don't know how she's been able to put up with it for 21 years! If your customer had done that to us, she would have lied and said that we were all out of wrappings.

You and I must be on the same wave Em. The tearoom that I play harp for needs temporary help. The owner wants me to hostess, but I'm hoping that she'll let me be in the kitchen instead (they need help there too). I love to cook and I won't have to deal with people. It's also half the driving distance of my other job.

Thanks for the song Robin. I need more of that!

[Stanislaw]

Has anyone noticed that almost all jobs dealing with the public are horrible. It is odd considering how many people work in these positions. People just need valium or something...I am so sick of working in the customer service field.

I own my own computer repair business, a part time job I thought I would enjoy...however I have this one client that continually brings their pc back claiming that I didn't repair it properly and cheated them of their money. (the problem is the machine keeps getting loaded full of spyware and mal programing because well pebcak! The clients son keeps surfing pron on the pc...it really justs ticks me off! The client is also in complete denile, claiming that their son couldn't do such a thing...even though the proof is in the history! The person is now badmouthing my services...and man I think I am just going to tell them off... I really don't need to take all of their crap!

[Virgil]

stan - The best way to handle that is reiterate your points, tell him to take his computer away, and that you don't want his business any longer.

[Nightshade]

Has anyone noticed that almost all jobs dealing with the public are horrible. It is odd considering how many people work in these positions. People just need valium or something...I am so sick of working in the customer service field.


Hey I work with the public (worse than that I was told on a training day You mihght be the only contact some people ever have with the government so above all BE NICE) and I love it despite the ocassioal book throwing name calling oh yes try-to-get-out of-their-fine book stealing people who come in. Oh and the junkies and generally creepy people. There are SO many nice people out there. Its why Im hoping that tommorow I get permission to host a coffe and biscuit morning once a month, Ive even offered to volenteer because the budget does stretch that far.:D

[Yogi]

Innately, Within You Resides The Spirit
Which Wants To Enlighten You,
To Give You The Peace, The Bliss
And The Joy Of Your Being.

[Stanislaw]

Innately, Within You Resides The Spirit
Which Wants To Enlighten You,
To Give You The Peace, The Bliss
And The Joy Of Your Being.

Have ye ever worked for shell sir? :D Just kidding, nice poetry! :thumbs_up

[rachel]

When I worked grave yard shift with the elderly there was this one woman, full of hate and unforgiveness and selfish to the max. she had been a nurse in her youth and i pity whomever she cared for!
well she got really ill and was in a hateful mood, tried slapping my face and was just so upsetting. if i didn't do exactly what she wanted even if against the rules she would complain and I would get in the worst trouble.
on my own time off i did things for her to try to make her life better but she was so ungrateful. i took her to the eye doctor, bought a beautiful steak and flowers for her, nothing worked.
then on my last month at work at that place she called me up. I was so tired but i came and she was ordering me about. she had a terrible cough and was supposed to cover her mouth with a cloth but of course she refused. then she got angry at me for something and deliberately coughed into my face.
later she died and one night i couldn't sit down. i started pacing back and forth and finally went to hospital. the doctor told me i had pneumonia in both lungs. I was absolutely terrified. it took me several months to recover and a whole year before my lungs felt proper. I was so weak I nearly fainted over and over during those months.
but oh well I forgave her. life goes on...hopefully.