Fifteen years

[Rachy]

The wind brushed through the leaves as the old man walked slowly down the path. It had been fifteen years since the last time he had stood there. Fifteen years since he had lost everything, fifteen years since he had broken down on that very spot, fifteen years since his wife had left him.

He walked to the door that stood in front of him, and raised his hand as he knocked quietly. After a minutes wait the door slowly swung open, and in front of him stood the woman he had fallen in love with. She was older now, but still held her beauty. She had been everything he had ever wanted, and still was. She was his life. Ever since that day, he had never stopped loving her.

A small smile formed on her lips and she raised a hand to his face. He rubbed his cheek against her soft palm and kissed her finger.

"Fifteen years!" She whispered.

[Darlin]

This is a nice piece but if she left him did she come back and he was gone? It leaves a lot of questions. I wondered if after she smiled she smacked him! :)

[rachel]

I felt my heart pounding as the old man waited at the door.
You could have deepened the story as we have no idea why he was at the door and why if she left him she would smile. We need to know so we can enter in and feel what he felt, see what he saw.
very powerful emotion.

[Rachy]

Thanks guys. Just a quickie....this is only the beginning of the story, I was intending to do it so it starts at this scene and then flashes back to exactly what happened, a cliffhanger if you will. With her smiling, I was trying to show that even though she left him, in their time apart she was able to mature and put the past behind her and remember the love she had for him. I haven't really thought where I want to go with it yet though, I just kind of wrote it! Anyways thanks for your comments :)