Ballad Finished!

[jilliedub123]

I just finished writing a ballad for my creative writing class, and I was wondering if I could get some imput. :) Thanks guys!

(also- I am not sure yet what to title it.)


The heavy curtains are drawn and
darkness escapes the light.
Center focus with a mic in hand,
soul and heart taking flight.

The air it echoes in blind fear,
as eyes begin to see
blonde curls with a voice you could hear-
immersed in fantasy.

Find a crumpled piece of note,
blue and black ink on skin-
Singing words that quote
From the well hidden within.

The first song will come to an end,
the crowd will happily scream.
She will awake in bliss and pretend
that all this was not a dream.

[RobinHood3000]

Very intriguing...I'm not very good at critiquing poetry, but I like it. Did you mean "well hidden" (as in "an unseen source") or "well-hidden" (as in "extremely hard to find")?

As for a title, that's something you'll probably want to think about yourself, but if I were to suggest something, I might use something involving the stage, or perhaps the "soul and heart" you mentioned, though I have to admit, "taking flight" is something of an overused metaphor.

[jilliedub123]

For "well hidden" i meant like a sort of wishing well hidden inside, where all thoughts go. As for "taking flight," your right it is sort of cliche... perhaps i should change it to "ignite flight" but I'm not sure if that sounds so good. I'll also have to brainstorm more on a title. thank you so much for your help!

[RobinHood3000]

My pleasure--that's what we Justice Leaguers are for, right? :D