a rain drop or a tear?

[snivslove]

a rain drop,
a tear,
a wish,
a dream,
a thought so dear.
trapped inside covered by deep lies
that if would surface would make them cry.


[wrote that 2 years ago at age 15. let me kno what you guys think.]

[zanna]

I do like it.
"covered by deep lies / that if would surface would make them cry"
makes me think the tear/dream/wish is "truth," or the essence of us, way down inside. I think if we could really see into the depths of our hearts, that would be a scary thing (to see what's there). Hopefully we would find good things, tho. :) What else do you have?

[Pendragon]

a rain drop,
a tear,
a wish,
a dream,
a thought so dear.
trapped inside covered by deep lies
that if would surface would make them cry.


[wrote that 2 years ago at age 15. let me kno what you guys think.]

Haunting... http://smilies.vidahost.com/otn/sad/xoldrop.gif The first five lines are bound together by the last two into a cohesive whole. It could be an "Echo From the Edge" poem!

[mir]

I like it too! :D and welcome to the forum, snivslove!! Where in PA are you?? (I live near Pittsburgh! :) )