arc angel
11-02-2005, 02:34 AM
When I found the sight I read a plea for help from Jason with his term paper. Well, I made some changes and will post them. I hope he finds them.
Jason,
The problem I see in your writing is the use of commas and of first person, I, me, my...so on.
I have made changes to all except the last two paragraphs. If you don't like the changes I made I will not be offended. I hope I've helped a least a little and hope you can use, at least, a few of the changes.
Use what I changed to help you on the last two paragraphs. I felt that I needed to leave you the last part as a learning experience.
P.S.
Set your preferences in your word program to ketch the comma and other puncuation errors.
Good Luck,
arc angel
Jason,
The problem I see in your writing is the use of commas and of first person, I, me, my...so on.
I have made changes to all except the last two paragraphs. If you don't like the changes I made I will not be offended. I hope I've helped a least a little and hope you can use, at least, a few of the changes.
Use what I changed to help you on the last two paragraphs. I felt that I needed to leave you the last part as a learning experience.
P.S.
Set your preferences in your word program to ketch the comma and other puncuation errors.
Good Luck,
arc angel