I've always wondered . . . [Archive] - Literature Network Forums

fayefaye

09-30-2003, 06:16 AM

i think what ihrocks means by 'u look in the mirror and nothing looks back' is that a personality crisis is sort of when a person becomes empty; there's nothing to them anymore-they have no personality, and they hardly know themselves so they go on trying to improve their appearance, or reinvent themselves; make them feel better about themselves. does that make sense? it's not like i have a psych degree-i hardly know what a personality crisis is

AbdoRinbo

09-30-2003, 03:14 PM

I saw not parables, I saw not puns, nor mirrors, nor persons, nor empty appearances.

ihrocks

09-30-2003, 08:52 PM

Sorry, that wasn't a pun or a parable. It was a memory, but a memory of a long time ago.

ihrocks

AbdoRinbo

10-01-2003, 03:03 AM

I did not see.

Koa

10-01-2003, 06:24 AM

And what is it when you look in the mirror and see so many 'people' that you don't know which one should be the one looking back at you? Another kind of personality crisis? :-?

ihrocks

10-01-2003, 08:51 PM

No experience with that one, but yeah, I'd say that qualifies, too.

ihrocks

fayefaye

10-02-2003, 07:00 AM

what do you mean by 'people'? as in, y the quotation marks?

Koa

10-02-2003, 10:32 AM

what do you mean by 'people'? as in, y the quotation marks?

Quotation mark cos you don't really see them...they're not phisically there... it was to underline the metaphor I guess... i use quotation marks far too much cos i feel my use of some words is not precise...even when there should be no need cos it's infact precise...

ihrocks, maybe it qualifies at schizophrenia ;)

10-03-2003, 08:45 AM

Have you ever experienced the feeling 'being trapped in your life?'

Try the Phoenix metaphore.

AbdoRinbo

10-03-2003, 01:03 PM

Phoenix the comic book villian? :D

fayefaye

10-05-2003, 03:28 AM

Koa

10-05-2003, 10:18 AM

i thought maybe the quotation marks were an allusion to drug abuse. sounds like hallucinogen side effects, seeing multiple 'ppl'. is a personality crisis the same as an identity crisis? i could prolly explain an identity crisis-when u try so hard to please ppl u lose ur own personality.

Nope I'm not on drugs... Just metaphors ;)
Sometimes I think I have multiple personalities tho...kinda schizophrenic I think :rolleyes:

Munro

10-07-2003, 07:30 AM

Same for me, Koa. You're the only other person here who expresses the suspicion at their mental illness. I think I may have inherited my aunty's schizophrenia, which I have probably catalysed by one or more of my social habits, so I think I'll probably have an episode or two in my time to come. I definitely get paranoid often, and maybe this speculation is entirely paranoid itself. Hey, at least it'll give me something to write about.

Jay

10-07-2003, 11:47 AM

Hey guys, I'm also a loony bin material lol. Okay, a little bit of paranoid, schizotypal a lot (not that I exactly know what that means...), kinda asocial, crazy, a little bit schizofrenic... did I mentioned crazy? Just to keep up with some of us, "normal" guys... :D

fayefaye

10-10-2003, 07:08 AM

well, i'm pretty sure i don't have any SERIOUS mental problems, but i'm definately not normal.

Jay

10-10-2003, 02:46 PM

Show me someone who's NORMAL... Don't know such a human being...

AbdoRinbo

10-10-2003, 07:47 PM

Boilerplate! http://www.bigredhair.com/boilerplate/ (click on 'Boilerplate as Soldier' toward the bottom).

Jay

10-11-2003, 11:30 AM

Okay Abdo, checking it out...

Well, confused A LOT now... dunno what to think about that, my intelect might be too simple for that...

Didn't I say human being? Okay, then you might come with a question What a human being is lol, and we'd be running in cirlces for thousands of years... and that metal guy would survive us all ;)

AbdoRinbo

10-11-2003, 01:12 PM

Here is our fallen hero . . .

http://www.bigredhair.com/boilerplate/soldier/bp.pancho.html

Munro

10-11-2003, 10:42 PM

Now it's cool to be insane. :rolleyes: Oh, ok. Do I have to join in the competition to see who is the most schizotypal? That is such a cool word.
You could use any negative characteristic and give it to a bunch of people and watch them say "I'm more evil than you" or
"No way! Whatev! I am sooo much more scatterbrained!" or
"You couldn't be socially inept if you drank a glass of autism" or something...

fayefaye

10-19-2003, 01:38 AM

I think it depends on the type of insane. Nobody's really totally sane, but you just have to track down people who are the right kind of insane, and they're normally pretty cool because they're easy to relate to. But that's a good point about the negative characteristics. I wonder why that is. As for munro and koa suspicious that they're crazy, a lot of ppl have the theory that if you think you might be crazy, you're almost definately not. It's all those normal, sane ppl you have to watch out for.

Munro

10-19-2003, 03:19 AM

Sane people are so boring. I couldn't talk to one for more than 10 minutes without wanting to knaw my leg off.

fayefaye

10-20-2003, 07:50 AM

AbdoRinbo

10-20-2003, 05:40 PM

I enjoy trivial chit-chat now and then, it keeps my mind limber. ;)

Isagel

10-21-2003, 07:33 AM

I enjoy small talk.
I enjoy talking "serious talk"
People are interesting. And evrybody has a story to tell.

"Reincarnate myself in the whitest t-shirts and the whitest tennis shoes, and the most ripped up pair of Dockers I can find."

That could be a short poem.

To get back to your first question I think that a personality crisis is the feeling chaos and anxiety when your old ways and habits isn´t enough to cope with the situation at hand. It may be that something in your life just changed, for better or worse. Or perhaps your life isn´t changing since your old ways are not taking you anywhere you really want to go.

You have to change something. And you do not know what. Or you may have a feeling that you do know, a bit like that word that gets stuck at the tip of your tounge. But change is tempting and scary at the same time, and once you´ve changed there´s no turning back. And there you are. In the middle of wanting to choose something and not knowing what or how or when. It´s good. And it´s hell. And mostly you find your way and you get through it fine. Like the phoenix (not the comic character :) That would not be good)

fayefaye

10-21-2003, 08:23 AM

I like trivial chitchat, but not polite or everyday chitchat. (How are you? Who really cares? One day I'd like to reply with 'somewhere on the verge of suicide' just to see those sane ppl's reaction.) I like stuff more along the lines of Seinfeldesque conversation, which is actually interesting. I suppose it depends what you mean by trivial. There's a big difference between trivial and just plain banal.

But speaking of being a little schizo, what's the deal with you and surf boy, abdo? c'mon, cough it up. We want the truth! (A few good men's a good movie, don't you think?) Either way, me thinks you and surf boy are one and the same. I can just see it;
Abdo*in a darth vader voice* 'surf boy,.. I am your father'

Is that what you meant by wanting to reinvent yourself? Like reinvent yourself to be a pain in the ***? lol I think I'd take Abdo over surf boy any day.

Koa

10-21-2003, 03:32 PM

I know. I can't stand that sort of truly inane boring conversation - I hate hanging around people who spend their time talking about clothes, hair, guys without feeling like I should knock myself unconscious to soften the intellectual blow.

Aaw that's why I have no more than 5 friends. I gave up long ago on hanging out wiht people whose only interests are clothes etc, it felt like wasting time... So I chose to waste my life in other ways. Sometimes it feels ok, I'm happy with the freinds I have and don't desire much more. Sometimes loneliness is tragic. Been like this for 1/3 of my life.

(Not in a good mood tonight :oops: )

AbdoRinbo

10-21-2003, 03:55 PM

I'll be your friend. :D ;)

Jay

10-22-2003, 04:52 AM

Count me in Koa ;).

fayefaye

10-22-2003, 07:04 AM

aww...me too koa. i'll try to offer good conversation, too. wink I have a group of about ten-fifteen friends, not counting all those usual acquaintances, but I have to say, I'm only really friends without about ten of them, and the other ones I don't really talk too much. oops I only have three really close friends, who I can talk to about pretty much anything, and who actually get me.. I'm a difficult chick to understand, so I don't relate to many people.

Koa

10-22-2003, 03:27 PM

:o Thank you people... :)

Yeah fayefaye, difficult and hard to relate apply here too...

Now the philosphic theme of today (which I think even fits in the topic is):

Change. If you think you don't fit in the world and don't get a 'normal' life (meaning for 'normal', the kind of life most people have) because of how you are... Is it worth trying to change yourself? Would it work? And if it does, would you still feel yourself? And if you even end up being happy wiht your new self, will you miss your old self? (I guess this last point doesnt matter much as changes occur in life anyway so there's always something you miss).

fayefaye

10-24-2003, 10:08 AM

Change. If you think you don't fit in the world and don't get a 'normal' life (meaning for 'normal', the kind of life most people have) because of how you are... Is it worth trying to change yourself? Would it work? And if it does, would you still feel yourself? And if you even end up being happy wiht your new self, will you miss your old self? (I guess this last point doesnt matter much as changes occur in life anyway so there's always something you miss).

oh, koa. i was just thinking about that today. i've tried changing myself, many,many times. IT AIN'T WORTH IT. it works on a superficial level, but deep down, ur still the same person. ur still not normal, or everything they want u to be. u might not feel like the same person though. u lose ur sense of identity. essentially, though, ppl never seem to really change. they seem incapable of it. but, yes, you miss your old self because you realise that you were fine the way you originally were, before society went and messed you up.

about friends though? even if you have lots you still feel lonely sometimes. that's inevitable. i feel more lonely in a crowded room with no-one i can relate to than at home, by myself. i never feel lonely reading a good book or watching my fave tv show. funny how sometimes fictional characters seem to have more depth than real ppl.

fayefaye

10-24-2003, 10:12 AM

oh, btw. i like talking philosophy too. hypothetical questions and the like. i was thinking about prejudice. my shyness is often interpreted as arrogance. (like i said, hard to relate to ppl, so i don't talk to ppl who i don't think i can relate to, just to avoid the all-out awkwardness, among other things) what do you think of prejudice in general?

Koa

10-25-2003, 12:35 PM

fayefaye, I don't think people never change. They do... That's how you lose them. One day you realise you can't relate to them anymore as you used to.

Again, I agree... I hate parties and discos and pubs etc cos they make me feel lonelier than my empty bedroom, my books and my pc (not much TV for me anymore). People there have fun, I don't. I prefer a quiet night with my rare friends, but... that's why I feel I'm not normal, that's what I feel I should change, and tried to change a few times. I want a normal real life, not an internet/literature-lunatic one anymore... And I can't see this happening, this mental life suits me more... but won't lead me to a succesful life I fear, at least in terms of relationships.

,

ihrocks

10-25-2003, 12:45 PM

I want a normal real life, not an internet/literature-lunatic one anymore... this mental life suits me more...

What' so wrong with a internet/literature-lunatic life? I mean that, honestly. What is wrong with being yourself and finding your own happiness, regardless of whether it meets society's expectations of "normal"?

If you are unhappy in your present life, then pubs, shallow conversation, meaningless relationships, and empty experiences are not the answer.

Be true to yourself. Not matter how hard you try to re-invent yourself, your basic nature will always be fighting you and you'll never be happy. Find your happiness within, and stop worrying about normal.

ihrocks

P.S. I wish someone had said those words to me about 22 years ago. Instead I had to find out the hard way. Good luck.

Koa

10-25-2003, 01:00 PM

What' so wrong with a internet/literature-lunatic life? I mean that, honestly. What is wrong with being yourself and finding your own happiness, regardless of whether it meets society's expectations of "normal"?

I don't know, it feels wrong, unhealthy. We're human, not machines. I don't know maybe it's just here, but people who spend a lot of time in the internet making friends there are considered like some weirdos with rather serious problems here... People who don't like to go out are considered weirdos. People who stay at home in a sunny summer day are considered weirdos.
I've always been proud to be a weirdo, but it limitates my relationships... and yes I also mean love-relationships. Lately my mind is busy in a problem I should have got over long ago, when my age still ended with '-teen'... But well, most people of my age have a serious relationship, some are even married or almost... I feel less normal than ever.

Everytime I do get to the conclusion that if this is ME, then f*ck it all, I'll be me. But moments come when I feel that ME doesn't work.

Anyway ihrocks, thanks for your words etc, I have a feeling most people, especially of your age (which I don't remember exactly but I have a vague clue) would just say 'stop it with this crap, just go out, open yourself and act like young people, and everything will come'.

fayefaye

10-25-2003, 10:05 PM

F*** it indeed, koa. who gives a rats ***? I mean, it is a bit weird to spend a lot of time on the net and with books, but sometimes you just don't wanna hang around and partake in stupid conversation. nothing wrong with that. maybe get out and spend some time with your real friends. Listen to ihrocks. she's very wise.

Granny5

10-24-2007, 04:11 PM

Have you ever experienced the feeling 'being trapped in your life?'

Try the Phoenix metaphore.

I would think that a lot of us are trapped in our life, unless one has not responsibilities or obligations. Most folks can't just walk away from the life they are living. We might be able to make changes, but not just walk away.