ProofRead PLEASE!

[JAG05Z28]

Hey everyone, could some one please proofread this essay. I've been working on it all weekend and its due tomorrow and all my thoughts are running together and i cant get everything stright. I posted what the teacher wrote for some guide lines so could you please read that and go with that. I'm comparing New York and LA, but I need some information on the crimes there. They have simalir crime rates but I dont know where to put that or what to say. And I also cant think of a conclusion. I'm not tring to get you guys to do my essay for me just help me. Its due tomorrow and I'm not ver good at english. As you already know just by reading this thread.

[PeterL]

The Los Angels police department site has crime statistics.
http://www.lapdonline.org/general_information/crime_statistics/crime_statistics_main.htm
And the NYC police have their statistics here
http://www.nyc.gov/html/nypd/home.html
You might have to work a little to make the statistics comparable.

If the crime rates are similar, then you should simply state that. The statistics will be your evidence. The actual statistics should be in an appendix, but an overall summary should go in the body of the paper. If you have formed a thesis question then the evidence should directly prove that. If you haven't formed a question, then the evidence should show you what you can prove.

[JAG05Z28]

If someone could help me with the conclusion I can get the rest now.

[mickeymack]

Hey dude what about the academic integrity pledge?!Your spelling is very poor please use spellcheck! As I read it your essay really annoyed me. Why? Well it's just way too general. Why not be more specific and compare particular activities in the two cities quoting some facts and figures? Huge untrue generalisations about the two cities show lack of research on your part. Crime would have been a fruitful area as would have tourism. I see your essay is due tomorrow. Good luck with it. If you get any higher than a D your teacher is sweet on you!