The Meeting

[Dailen]

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[Dailen]

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[Dailen]

I do want whomever that was to read this, so, if you'll
excuse my improper use of a thred.

::bump::

[blp]

Oh Dailen! Don't take things so hard. Way wrong? There's no such thing in art. I often post stuff no one pays any attention to. People don't always have anything helpful to say.

I don't know who's been sending you nasty emails, but it sounds like it's their problem, not yours. And you've got as much right as anyone to join in with the haikus.

As for another site where you might be able to get some beginner's advice, I've just been over at http://www.poets.org where they have a section specially for beginners. Good luck and for god's sake keep writing and reading. all the best, blp

[Dailen]

Thank you blp, I'll check it out.

[Dailen]

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[blp]

It's all very powerful and the last two lines, particularly, are an excellent thought. You don't need the commas in those lines. They're grammatically wrong in fact, though perhaps you wanted to keep this pattern of commas about halfway through each line. I wouldn't bother with the full stop (period) at the end either.

William Carlos Williams said, 'All sonnets say the same thing of no importance', a quote I'm including because I like it, not because I agree.

[Ess]

It's all very powerful and the last two lines, particularly, are an excellent thought. You don't need the commas in those lines. They're grammatically wrong in fact, though perhaps you wanted to keep this pattern of commas about halfway through each line. I wouldn't bother with the full stop (period) at the end either.

William Carlos Williams said, 'All sonnets say the same thing of no importance', a quote I'm including because I like it, not because I agree.
oh blp, i am afraid i might agree with hwilliam in the point where he says sonnets say the same thign. lack of impotance i dont agree with though

[Dailen]

Thank you Blp...again :)
Commas are a nasty habit of mine, Once I get going with them, I just continue.
Good advise, I'll make the changes.

[blp]

oh blp, i am afraid i might agree with hwilliam in the point where he says sonnets say the same thign. lack of impotance i dont agree with though

And what is that same thing they're all saying?