Love Ramblings

[Dailen]

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[naegling]

Hi

I thought this a pleasant love poem although, in parts, you sacrificed rhythm and structure in order to 'make the rhyme'. IMHO rhythm is far more important. Rhyme only appeared with Chaucer, and is good when it is natural.

Nice work.

N.

[Dailen]

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[samercury]

Nice work, I liked it :)

[Dailen]

Thank you :) This is fun.

[EpItApH]

Well the whole piece was nicely written..I liked it also.. however I'm not particularly fond of this line>>
"Especially in the shower, with hot water and soap"
<< this kind of doesnt seem to belong with the rest of the deep an thought out sentiments..and tends to off set the rest of the wonderfull words.
Overall.. Good Work!

[Dailen]

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[EpItApH]

Hmm.. yes well ones writing should portray ones self.. hence.. you write what you feel otherwise it wouldn't be original.. once again nice work!