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[Themis]

Well, first of all: It's been a while since I wrote this. So, it may be a tad childish

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[Koa]

Hey... well at first when I realised what it was about I was like 'oh no, not that...' cos I am a bit suspicious of love/broken love poems, partly because of my attitude to relationships, partly because a lot of poems of that kind are just so banal... But I must say that you managed to take it to a nice direction.. firstly, cos the riythm is quite broken but not to the point of not being rhytmical at all, if this makes any sense, and secondly because between the obvious sentences you put some unexpected or just well-put words...

Like this, which is possibly my favourite bit:


I wish you were here,
by my side,
left and right,
front and rear

I hated the first 2 lines and loved the following 2, which balances it to be good... cos the 'wish you were here by my side' is just what you expect, but then it gets specified in a way I didnt expect...the 'front and rear' is ingenious, and it makes him be all around...

Also the letter is somehow well put, very concrete but just there, in between everything... I dont know, it fits well...

I only dont like the beginning but I guess that it has to begin somewhere... and the use of "My love", and the "I loved you" stanza, which are a bit too soppy for my evil liking (what about "hey you ugly b*stard"? ;););) :D:D:D I'm joking...), but nevermind...:)

(hope I havent been harsh in some comments, I didnt intend to be, just sometimes I make my points a bit too strongly...)

[Themis]

Soppy? Hmm... I was heartbroken when I wrote this. ;) Still, thank you for your comment.

[Koa]

Well I was just meaning it's not as soppy as I expected it to be after the first line... except in some parts...but everybody has his/her soppy moments... I just find it hard to relate with the awareness that people have relationship, cos my destiny seems quite different.... Overall, I thought mine was a nice comment, cos I did like it ;) (the poem not the comment ;))