Birth

[adilyoussef]

Two days ago, these verses came to my mind, and as I'm not good in poetry, I was looking for someone to give me hi/her point of view and finds no one better than you -- members of this forum. Sorry in advance for the bad quelity of the verses.


Birth

I suffer hours and hours
Just to have a glimpse of you
So what suffering hours can be?
For nine months I carry you

Don’t care about me don’t care no more
I give all life to you to explore
My life my death, all to you
Just to have a glimpse of you

Ran my baby ran the fastest you can go
Don’t mind me for suffering though
Take my body take my soul
Just give me a glimpse of you

*************************

Expecting eyes, a screaming voice
All waiting a sign of yours
Crying tough in an encouraging chores
Some in the hall some near the mother of yours

All those here all those there
Counting hours for you to appear
Don’t deceive me don’t deceive them
For the outcome of love might disappear

Up-down head feet on the sky
A cry of relief a cry of life
Time of waiting, time is no more
With your coming, blessing I implore

[Pensive]

Nice Work Adil!

[Nightshade]

well ok Ill say it suprising subject matter Adil. Ok maybe Im just sexsist or somthing but Ive got to say I like it. especially the 2 first stanzas verses blocks (??? Im useless at this poetry comenting stuff)
but I have a q is that 2 voices in the poem the mother (and the father???) Its nice ok maybe nice is not the word since nice menas neat etc. anywway what I mean is I like it if that counts for anything. I needed to read it 2 or three times for it to sink in and I like it :D

[adilyoussef]

The whole poem is about a mother giving birth to her child. The voice is that of the mothers body, or womb if you like and to be pricise. The suffering here is of the womb when it opens to let the child go out. The womb talks to the child and encourage it to go to life although this is a painful moment. Pain doesn't matter for that the happy event is more important. In the second part there is a description of the room with the expecting eyes of the doctor and nurses and the screaming voice of the mother. There is also a description of the hall with people outside crying and encouraging each other and all are waiting for the coming of the child. The child is the outcome of a love relationship and is wanted by all the family mumbers. in the last stanza, the mother gives birth to her child and is crying with reliefe when she hears the cry of her child which means that it's alive. With it's coming blessing she emplores. That's, in general, what the poem is about.

Thank you Night! Thank you Glady. Thanks a lot.

[Kaltrina]

wow. Adil I love your poem, it's beautiful and very sensitive... it describes very nice the feeling that a mother has while having a baby.... :D