Thumbtacks

[Chava]

The dust has soon covered
the books on the wall,
the rain falls across
the slightly parted window,
thumbtacks in the walls
leave ever well kept marks,
shadows cast across the room
you've left your wine by the window.
Once Helen, Athena
to silent discarded mascara.
And the mirror is now
left in shards,
as the toy soldiers
marched out of town.
You miss him don't you?
Gone to save another's day.
And you hear the sounds
of war, so close through CNN,
while reading through the letters
of last years mail.
Covers are unfolded
the lover has gone.
His pictures are hanging
by thumbtacks in the wall.

[mono]

Astoundingly beautiful and touching, Chava. :nod:
A lot of contemporary poetry, I have noticed, aims much toward focusing on material objects (like thumbtacks), as the poet reflects, analyzes, interprets, and sometimes manipulates on any object, personalizing it as something sentimental, worth adoration and praise (or otherwise), and full of memories. You, honestly, have mastered this admirable technique, transferring obviously deep emotions and memories into something as seemingly simple as thumbtacks.
Well done! :)

[amuse]

this is a wonderful poem, Chava. am kind of at a loss for words. it's very poignant. i like how you did that directly, without sentiment, and yet your whole poem is pervaded by sentiment.

[blp]

I really love it. But I'd leave out the word 'are' from 'Covers are unfolded', fourth line from the bottom. It spoils the rhythm, which is otherwise spellbinding.

[Chava]

Thanks for your advice, and astounding comments.

[Knower]

It is good, yes. It draws out emotions that I can relate to. I can actually follow the poets eyes and live myself into what your feeling! Very personal...