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Koa
06-12-2005, 07:10 PM
I wrote this 4 long years ago but lately I sort of feel it again... I don't know, reading it now it feels pretentious, like I'm using cliché images... and too many repetitions...but I wish I was still able to think of something powerful... Oh well.
The grammar doesn't feel perfect, corrections are welcome. And pardon me the 'swearing', but it was necessary.

About Love

Let us burn all the bul*s*its about love
books and lovers, poems and songs
as apocalypse runs wet from the sky
and thunders tear it apart
we're scared by this yellow sky
we're bound to the grey ground
and needles pierce our bodies
painfully
but we enjoy it
'cause we want to be burned away
in the big fire that will burn love
and all its ridicolous rules.

And we laugh about love
we laugh loud as the sky is wounded by thunders
storm, apocalypse, fights in heaven
the birds fall dying to the ground
everytime that noise bursts our ears
and scares us
but we like it
'cause we want to be buried
in the earthquake that will kill love
and swallow all the lovers.

And we're burning love
finally
the rain can't make the fire die down
and electric lights shine unnaturally
through dead leaves carried by Siberian winds;
while we dance 'round our inferno
red stripes get high in the sky
and we jump into the fire
shouting and laughing
'cause we like that burning pain
that brings us deep elation:
as we see books burning
and we feel papers creeping
and we hear lovers crying
we think, satisfied,
that what is being destroyed
was all about love.

Koa
06-12-2005, 07:12 PM
Oh damn I realised now that it feels like 'we', the lyrical subject, want to die with love, that is 'we' are somehow lovers... which was actually the opposite of my intention... but it is subconsciously interesting i guess...

amuse
06-12-2005, 09:57 PM
the ending: i like. there's quite a bit here that bears commenting on. want to reread this over the next couple of days...

Koa
06-15-2005, 06:11 PM
thanks amuse... i was actually hoping in some more feedback by anyone else, even just to say it's crap... i'll try to put this up now by posting this...

Helga
06-15-2005, 07:24 PM
I'm sorry I didn't post earlier Koa.... I actually read it a few times and I love it..... harsh, mean but great. the ending is great... and like I have said before you should post more often! ;)

Koa
06-15-2005, 07:35 PM
eheh thanks...it's mean cos i'm mean :D
what's so great about the end??? :confused:

Bongitybongbong
06-15-2005, 08:21 PM
the ending is very passionate and it fits very well. 5 out of 5 in my book!

PerAnnum
10-19-2005, 02:13 PM
I don't know if what I got out of it is what you meant... but hey... I like it.
Destroy love, cuz we hate it... it hurts, but we love it at the same time... therefore we, ourselves, are lovers of love...
And yes, it is very pitiless, in a way. Elation and desolation in one.